


Look at me -Asanoya

by MegaraDorothy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bullying, College, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fluff, Friendship, Future, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-10-24 20:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20712203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaraDorothy/pseuds/MegaraDorothy
Summary: A long forgotten, unspoken bound is enough to turn things around?Few years left since Asahi and Nishinoya met, but when Asahi recived a panicked phone call from Tanaka their path is crossed again.Nishinoya made a mistake, he knows it, but he can't do anything about it. His life is turning into hell, and when he decide to surrender  Asahi turns up.  How could a self-conscious, shy giant help to his former underclassman when he is broken too? There  were years, and they changed,  they have their lifes without each other.





	1. Chapter 1

\- ASAHI??

\- Who is this?

\- I need your help!

\- Uhh... who are you?

\- RYU! TANAKA! Karasuno!!! - Asahi needed a few moments to remember his ex teammate.

\- You have my phone number? We haven't talked since...

\- High school. I KNOW. But, you have a job in Chiba, true? In the same place you have had when we were third years and we met for a New Year party? – Tanaka was speaking so fast that Asahi had trouble to keep up with him.  
\- Yeah... I think. The small shop...

\- Perfect! Please, do me a favor... You have to go and take a look on Noya! PLEASE! – He was devastated.

\- Nishinoya? Why?

\- He is in college in the same place, he was through some serious shit, and now I can't get him on the telephone... I know something is wrong, and I don't know anyone else who is near him, please!

\- Uhh... Okay...

\- I am sending you his address right now! Please HURRY!

\------

The collage seemed like Haven for him, he loved the first year of it, he found friends, he was in a volleyball team, and he had a huge crush on Kenichi, who was a tall, second year setter whit blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was the only one who could make Nishinoya so happy, that he could forget the world. Nishinoya liked every little detail on him, his long eyelashes, his dimple, which have occurred only on one side of his cheeks when he smiled, even liked the little scar on his hand where he injured himself while skateboarding in the first month of the college.

When Nishinoya was in second year he was invited to a birthday party to Leyla, a third year basketball player girl, Kenichis twin sister.  
He went, because he was hoping to meet the setter, but for hours he didn't even show up, and when Noya found him he was "busy" and he didn't want to bother him, so he went back to the kitchen, and started to play beer pong whit teammates.

\- OOO, Noya is hhereee! I was looking for you little man – Kenichi shouted across the room when he caught the glance of his friend a few hours later.  
The libero forgot everything he was doing and run to him, he can't even been bothered to notice others complaining about it.  
It was three am already, but the crowd doesn't seemed to get smaller any time soon, and it was quite a trouble to get through so many people with the height he had.  
\- Kenichiii! – Nishinoya hugged the setter when he finally came to him.  
\- Hoho, you're really touchy today – has answered the blonde guy in a flirty tone.  
\- What do you talk? I am always like this – his heart was pounding so hard, that he thought the other one could hear it through the music, and it doesn't helped at all that he was definitely not sober.  
\- I thought the fifth beer makes you like this.  
\- You're the one talking? I have seen you drinking shoots whit Aya-chan~  
Kenichi have bent a little so he could hear the libero better.  
\- I wasn't just drinking whit her...

Noya couldn't think straight anymore, they were close, enough that he could smell the shampoo the bigger guy had used, even the perfume Aya wear tonight, and he was so flustered because of the warmth coming from Kenichi's skin, after all there were just few centimeters between them...

His cheeks have blushed, his eyes have a drunken light in them, and then he did it... just a little move and their lips met. How many times he fantasized about it? He imagined everything, every little move, the taste of the other guys lips, how he will return the kiss, the small touches they will exchange... but there was nothing like in the fantasies.  
There was a bitter taste of whiskey and smoke, that the menthol gum can't cover, but there was nothing so disappointing than the strong push he has received after a few seconds.

Nishinoya lost his balance and the alcohol in his blood didn't help either, not to mention the realization that have slowly, too slowly spread across his drunk brain, realizing others around him, the party, Kenichi's disgusted look in his beautiful eyes, he can't feel the pain as he fall on the floor.  
\- WHAT THE FUCK? – Kenichi shouted whit uncoined hate in his voice – You are gay?! You are disgusting! I feel sick! Fagot!  
Nishinoya tried to stand up, but he was too clumsy and he fell again, he could hear the laugh around him, he could hear the comments, but his brain didn't want to process it. Somehow he managed to get up, tears in his eyes, this is just a dream... a nightmare... he run, run so fast as he could, bump against everyone who didn't get out of his way, having a feeling that they were there on purpose, pushing him... He even barge into the side of the door. He can't think, he just run in his apartment and tried to forget the humiliation.

\-----

He was sitting alone in the lunch time, they were weeks left since the party. He could feel the looks... Only the chat with Tanaka every evening in the same time and the practice were happy points in his life.  
The hot liquid on his head came from nowhere.  
\- I am sorry, I tripped over something – said the boy, whose ramen landed on him, but everybody knew he wasn't sorry, and he didn't trip.

\-----

-Nishinoya! I want to talk with you! – The couch comes to him after practice.  
He wasn't on his best form lately, but he wasn't disastrous either.  
\- You are one of the best players in the team – he started.  
Maybe it wasn't bad thing he wanted to talk about, thought Nishinoya, but then the couch continued.  
\- You know, the volleyball is team sport after all, and your teammates feel themselves uncomfortable while playing with you...  
Nishinoya didn't wait for him to finish, he just walked out of the gym and never returned.

\-------

With everyday it have became harder and harder for him to go on classes.  
\- Oh, who is here? – A voice distracted him from his thoughts – Isn't him the little fagot?  
They were few boys from the campus who were known for being agressive, everybody avoided them if they could.  
\- Where are you going? Don't you want to come with me a little? I heard you enjoy stuff like this– They teased.  
Nishinoya's strength and fighting soul have been already so damaged in the past months, that he can't do anything than stand still, and than just lie on the ground, whit tears in his eyes while the beating begin.

\---------

\- Are you sure I can come in? – Asahi asked in a telephone from Tanaka as he entered the unknown apartment.  
\- Just do it already! He is not answering his phone, neither his messages... he just send me a text "I am sorry", so yeah, fucking go in! – Tanaka nearly yelled.  
\- Nishinoya-san? – Asahi asked cowardly, but there was no answer. He started to look around in the few rooms.  
\- His bedroom is... - Tanaka started, but Asahi never heard the end of it, because he dropped the phone. Noya was there... But Asahi can't even recognize him.  
The small bag of happiness who he had remembered wasn't there, there was someone else sitting in the corner of the small bathroom looking up to him with big and scared eyes.  
The libero's hair was down, and messy, and muddy, his lips were swollen up whit a little rupture on it. He was in muddy T-shirt and jeans, his arms have had hematomas on them, and there was some blood too... He have had a wet towel in his hand, trying to take care of a bigger burse on his hip.  
\- Asahi? – He mumbled – I must be hallucinating... I got some hard hits today...  
Nishinoya felt nauseous because of his own mind. THIS is a fucking joke... why would he hallucinate him right now? The only one he was attracted before Kenichi, the one he was too afraid to admit he loved, and how right he was not to do it... this way at least his high school years weren't the living hell... He was here because of him, he choose this colleague because he was there, but when he was accepted he didn't have the courage to tell him, and then he just get used to never seeing him again, now... right NOW, on the worst of his ad days, he was standing in his apartment.  
\- Nishinoya! What...? – Asahi didn't finished his question just looked at the little libero.  
\- Asahi... - Nishinoya was confused... maybe he is real.  
\- Who? - Asahi, the gentle giant, was shaking from anger.  
\- As..a...hi  
\- Who. Did. This.  
Nishinoya just sit there, tears slowly breaking through his guard.  
\- Why are you here? I don't want you to see me like this...  
The smaller guy has forced a smile on his face, standing up from the floor.  
\- I am alright, you don't have to worry... just a hard practice... - he gave an empty grin towards Asahi.  
Maybe he is right, have realized Asahi, he was nearly a stranger for him, and who would want a stranger to know about his problems... But then again, Noya was hurt, and even if he was uncomfortable, he can't just leave.  
He was just standing there, trying to decide what to do, he reached across to the libero, he wanted to touch him, he needed something to know that after three years he is really here, but the move was a little too fast, and even thought Nishinoya wanted to show himself brave and okay, the movement give him a jump. 

Asahi's hand falls down beside him. He could see the fear for a moment in the short boy's eyes before he could manage to make a fake grin to him again.  
\- I would never hurt you... - the taller one said sheepishly.  
\- I know... - Nishinoya stopped grinning, fortunately, because Asahi started to freak out because of the forced smile.  
\- It wasn't volleyball, was it? 

\- No... - He couldn't look in his former upperclassman's eyes.  
\- I am sorry... - Asahi didn't know what to say, he wanted to comfort his guardian deity, but it was so crazy situation, they didn't meet for years. After he graduated he was too afraid to ask him to meet again, although he really wanted to, so they grow apart. They only met once since then; he didn't even know Noya was this close to him, only a half hour walk... And now he was here, in his bathroom, uninvited, at his weakest moment.  
Probably he should leave... He stepped back - I am sorry I shouldn't....  
Nishinoya clinched his little fists, he was fighting with himself, eyes closed, his breathing was irregular...  
\- Don't hate me you too... - he was so little, and broken... even thought he was the strongest person Asahi had ever known.  
Just a step closer and he was enough close to him, slowly he hugged him, and at this point, the warmth of the other person broke the last wall in Nishinoya and he started to cry, his tears soaking Asahi's shirt.

\- You will be alright... 


	2. Chapter 2

After few minutes Nishinoya stopped crying and it started to become a little uncomfortable for Asahi to hold him. It would had been strange for them to hugging like this even in high school, but now when the first wave of sudden emotions was over, they didn't know how to react to the closeness, which have become more and more awkward.

Asahi suddenly can't found out what to do with his hands, so he let Nishinoya out of his arms. The small libero take a step back. They can't look at each other, their heads were empty. Asahi felt the raising panic in his chest. What if he just made everything worse?  
\- Umm... Asahi-san? - Nishinoya was the first breaking the silence, there wasn't any sign left of his break down, but he was seemingly uncomprehending - How and why are you in my bathroom?  
\- Hugh... - Asahi have realized that he was trespassing, and that he had occurred in the apartment of his former schoolmate without any invitation or indication. It was true that he wanted to meet him again since he graduated, but he was imagining it like meeting him on the street or in a coffee, bar,... when he is at home in Sendai, not breaking in to his house.  
\- Tanaka called me, and asked... ohm demand me to come... - he mumbled self-conscious.  
\- Oh? - Nishinoya replied surprised - Why?  
\- He worried about you...  
\- He shouldn't I am fine...   
\- Are you?  
\- Of course I am! - He sounded irritated a bit.  
There was some uncomfortable silence between them.  
\- You were in a fight? Why? Did you start it? - Asahi's voice was soft, but concerned.  
\- What did Tanaka said to you? - Nishinoya replied cautiously.  
He didn't want Asahi to know these things, he would be embarrassed. After all, he has appeared in his bathroom when he touched the bottom, beaten up, dirty, he didn't have a proper sleep in few days, his hair was a mess, his clothes were a mess, his house was a mess... He was a mess. And Asahi... he didn't fit in this picture. He was even taller than in high school, his green shirt brought out the lines of his muscles, probably he was still doing some kind of sports. He still have long hair, maybe a little longer, but it wasn't in a messy bun, like every day when they were teammates, instead he has it pinned back with a headband, like coach Ukai have had it.  
Asahi's face was shaved, and everything on him was telling Nishinoya how well he take care of himself... or how well someone take care of him, he remind himself, Asahi was there for nearly three years, he could have a girlfriend for what he have known.  
\- Nothing concrete. He just said that you are having a hard time.  
\- Fine. It was just... nothing - he grinned forcefully. He didn't want to bother Asahi with his shitty life.  
The taller guy's eyes were investigating every inch of the libero's body carefully.  
He reached for Nishinoya's hand nearly unintended.  
\- What are you doing? - Noya blushed from sudden touch.  
\- It wasn't fight... You don't have any mark on your fist, you didn't punch back... - Asahi said it slowly, still thinking while he spoke - They just beat you up, weren't they?  
Nishinoya pulled away his hands so fast, like Asahi was going to hurt him.  
\- No! - He answered without thinking, but then slowly realized the dark brown eyes that fixated him with worry.  
\- Fine! They did - he sighted resignedly.  
\- Nishinoya... - Asahi's voice break mid sentence, but his eyes had an aggressive light in them, which Nishinoya have seen only on the court before he spiked - Why?   
This little world has had so many emotions in it that Nishinoya had to do a step back. He can't face the other one; he glared on his own shoes. His hip had hurt him; he can't stand at his right leg properly.  
\- I... - he started, but felt too ashamed to continue - I don't want you to know, Asahi-san...   
\- Was it a stranger?   
\- No... - Nishinoya replied with growing discomfort.  
\- Someone from the colleague? - There was a growing tension in Asahi's voice.  
\- Maybe...  
\- Yes or no?   
\- Yes... - Nishinoya started hyperventilating, the shame colored his face red.  
\- It happened only once?   
\- No...  
Asahi have never been an aggressive person, he was rather a coward than a hero, but fortunately he has always had an appearance of a delinquent so others left him alone. He always thought that Nishinoya is the exact opposite of him. He was small with innocent look of a happy child, he was noisy, full of energy, he was never ashamed of doing something he likes, and he was the first to help anyone in need. Why would anyone want to hurt him? Asahi always had a really strong feeling that forced him to make the little libero happy, because he wanted to see his smile. Back in high school he thought it was because of his childish nature, that was so adorable, and that everybody thinks about Noya like this. He felt a pressure in his chest growing. Why would anyone purposely make Nishinoya cry? It never happened to him before, but now he hated those people although he didn't know them, or their cause, but he was positive that it can't be because Noya did something wrong.  
Now he takes few seconds to look at the other one.   
Nishinoya was in bad shape, he was just as small as he was back, when they were friends, but his hair wasn't standing upwards, so he seemed even smaller. Now that Asahi could observe him better he saw more signs of abuse. Under his left eye was a light shadow indicating that he probably has been hit there some days, maybe a week ago. His new injuries pissed Asahi off more than anything has before. Nishinoya was staring on the floor without blinking; his hands were clinched in fist. He has a really concentrated expression, and the spiker could tell that he was fighting with his tears. But then Asahi had finally realized the strange way the libero was standing, his weight was just on one of his legs.   
Asahi remembered how he found Noya... he was taking care of a bruise on his hip.   
\- How severe are your injuries?   
\- Bearable...  
\- I will help you take care of them.  
\- W... what? Asahi-san, you don't have to! - Nishinoya reacted strongly.   
\- Come on - Asahi forced himself to give him smile - Do you have a first aid kit? Ice? And you should probably sit down... Do you need help with moving to your room?   
Nishinoya sighted a little.  
\- NO, I can go by myself. I don't have any first aid tools just one bandage in my room... but there is ice in the fridge.  
He took few steps, but there was a big amount of pain and he was a little unstable.  
Asahi helped him where he could, even though he said he didn't need it. The taller guy had a hard time to found spots on Nishinoya's body where he could touch him without causing more pain, like touching one of the dozens of bloodshot.  
\- Asahi you're too gentle. I ain't made of glass - Nishinoya said jokingly to reduce his discomfort, but he was rewarded only with a dark look on Asahi's face.  
\- Please, don't try to make fun of it... I am in a really bad mood and I want to hurt the person who did this to you even more...   
\- Asahi... - the libero's eyes have widened. He never ever seen Asahi being aggressive, he was always trying to avoid every confrontation.

They didn't talk much while Asahi helped him to lie down, and then bring ice and put it on the bigger injuries, even rolled up Nishoya's T-shirt to have a closer look on his hip, where was a hematoma under and around the bruise. Asahi gently cleaned out the mud from the wound with a wet towel.  
\- We are done, is there anything else I can do for you? - He asked while putting away everything he used.  
\- Thank you - Noya whispered.   
\- I have to go now, but I will walk you to school tomorrow, when is your first class? - Asahi said with a restrained voice.  
Nishinoya glanced up to him, but he was already turned towards the door, so everything the small boy saw was his back, and his slightly strained shoulders.  
He was so surprised that he just blew out  
\- At eight...  
\- Alright, I will be here at half. Be ready. Good bye Nishinoya - with this he left, didn't leaving time for the libero to protest.


	3. Chapter 3

Asahi's night was absolutely terrible. What if he went too far? Maybe Nishinoya didn't even want to see him, and now he pushed himself on the short guy, other one didn't even tell him that he is this close for him, so probably he didn't want to meet Asahi. He can't sleep, half of the night he have spent in panic, thinking about how he had forced himself on Nishinoya. He wanted to back off, but it was too late, he can't just send a message at 4 pm that he won't come, and after all he still had a feeling that he can't let those people hurt the libero again. 

At the morning he woke up later than he should, but he fall asleep so late, that he couldn't sleep more than few hours. Under his eyes he had dark circles; he looked nearly as tired and horrible than he felt himself. He tried to use Mimi's corrector to make it better, but their skin color didn't match, Mimi was a lot paler than he, so he quickly washed it off.   
\- Asahi! Are you awake? You are going to be late - the girl shouted somewhere in the house.   
Asahi made his hair in a messy bun, just like he used to in high school, and then run to the kitchen, were Mimi was already preparing her lunch. She is a tall girl, maybe just 10 centimeters shorter than Asahi, but she is extremely thin, and everybody thought she was doing it on purpose in order to being beautiful, but Asahi knew that she was having problems with overworking thyroid which she could manage to get under control with medicine not so long ago and she still doesn't put on enough weight.   
She had long, dark hair, braided to the one side of her face because she hated it when her hair locks were coming in her eyes. Asahi had to admit, that she has pretty eyes (dark, really dark ones) despite the fact that he liked the lighter color of brown more, like the ones that reminded him of amber when the sun shined in them, and those eyes were belonging to someone else.  
\- New hair style? I like it - Mimi looked up - Your coffee is on the table.  
\- Not exactly, I used to have it like this every day in high school - he responded quickly - Thanks for the coffee.  
He found his drink; it was prepared just as he liked it, without milk and with two spoons of sugar. Mimi made it every morning for him, she knows his taste by hearth, and she always woke earlier than him. She was the most morning person Asahi have ever met, so she was full of energy and had plenty of time, and it helped Asahi, the lest morning person on the world a lot.  
\- Do you know where my work uniform is? - He asked still half asleep.  
\- You done the laundry yesterday, so I ironed them, it must be on the sofa - she responded with her head gesturing in the direction of folded clothes.  
Their living room and the kitchen was only separated by an American style counter, but Asahi changed his sweatshirt that he used for sleeping to his white shirt without hesitation, although Mimi could see him.  
\- Anyway, today I am going with you for a while - he said to the girl.  
\- Don't you have to go to work? - She asked a little confused while finishing her morning preparations.  
\- Just a little circuit - he explained himself. He hated keeping secrets from Mimi, but she was in the same colleague than Nishinoya and he was afraid that he wouldn't want others to found out about this.  
\- Okay than, are you ready?  
He had already call in the shop that he will be a little late, and his coworker have promised to cover for him, so there was nothing more left to do.  
\- I am - he smiled while they left the house.

Nishinoya was absolutely sure that he had just dreamed Asahi showing up in his apartment after three years, but the hundreds of messages from Ryuu and a call have proved otherwise.   
How on earth have this happened? - He thought while sitting fully dressed waiting for the clock to change the digits on it.   
7:28.   
He have made his hair to stand up perfectly and he wear one of his T-shirts with idioms on it; he doesn't really care which one.   
His hip still hurt, but it was a lot better than the day before. Fortunately it was just a bruise, nothing serious, he had have them a lot while playing volleyball so he was perfectly capable to deal with it.  
7:29  
He left the house at the exact moment when the clock changed to thirty.  
Asahi was already there, a little sleepy but he looked amazing in the morning light, what he was named after, he had the same messy bun that he used to before, but he was all nice and ordered, the white shirt perfectly matching with his tan skin.  
\- I thought you won't come - Noya smiled at him wildly, trying really hard to not remind himself how they met the day before.  
Asahi looked a little self-conscious.  
\- I actually thought about not coming, I didn't want to bother you, but I promised so... - he told while running a hand through his hair.  
\- This sounds like you - Nishinoya was relieved that he haven't changed that much - I am glad, that you didn't chickened out. Come, this way.  
Asahi give him a warm smile, and then followed the libero.  
Nishinoya is really strong, he thought to himself, if I would be the one in his place I couldn't make myself to live the house, and yet here is him, smiling. Asahi couldn't help but felt pride, and some warm feelings in his chest, but then remembered that Nishinoya didn't want to be friends with him, he didn't even told him that he is here, so he was absolutely an invader, who forced himself on him. Maybe he even hated him.   
\- You are really silent - Nishinoya looked up on Asahi's face a little confused - Not like you weren't silent back then...   
\- I'm sorry - Asahi give him a weak smile.  
\- Do you still thinking about yesterday? - The libero's face changed - Please, could we forget about it? I know that you are here just because you feel sorry for me, but couldn't we at least act like we are friends?  
He felt ashamed for being weak, for not being able to protect himself. He always wanted to meet Asahi, even when he moved on with his life, from time to time there was a little fantasy of running into him while shopping, or something... and now he is here, but only because he pitied him and that seemed like some kind of cruel joke on him and his hopes. He even had a fight with Ryuu last night, because he done this to him.  
\- Sorry, I didn't mean it like this... - Asahi apologized - What do you study?   
\- Physiotherapy -he replied - I know, it's a little strange, and doesn't sound like me...  
\- No, no... I think it suit you - Asahi said, blushing a little - You always pushed me gently or... ohm... less gently, even when I wanted to give up, or I didn't wanted to be pushed, but you did it for my own benefit, and you always made me a better player and a better person... ohm... what I wanted to say is that this sound for me exactly like a good physiotherapist should.  
\- Asahi... - the smaller guy was speechless for few moments - You shouldn't say things like this.  
It wasn't Asahi's fault, he just wanted to be kind, but things like this remembered Nishinoya too much about high school, giving him a warm feeling in his chest and butterflies in his stomach, and he definitely didn't want to fall in love with Asahi again.  
\- Maybe you are right - he smiled down on the other one - I am sorry.  
\- Never mind. Otherwise what are you doing? - Nishinoya wanted to distract himself from his previous thoughts.   
\- Oh, I am still working in the same a small shop, I really like it - he told with a little, shy smile on his face.  
\- I knew you had worked in a shop, but I didn't know in which one, I would look for you if I had.  
He was actually been in a few dozens of small shops, trying to "accidentally" meet Asahi at the beginning of his first semester, but he didn't need to know that.  
\- Would you? - Asahi sounded really skeptic.  
\- Of course I would! I missed you! - Nishinoya replied before he thought about it, but then shout his own mouth whit his hands - I am sorry Asahi! I didn't mean it like...  
\- Maybe if you would tell me that we are in a same city... - there was a little, but undeniable resentment in the spiker's voice.  
\- I didn't want to bother you, and I thought...  
Nishinoya wanted to apologize, but they were already on the campus, and there were a small group approaching them, two girls and four boys. He did recognize them; there were some of the few who were malignant towards him. The most of the students just avoided him, or just act like they didn't see things happening to him, but they weren't evil, they just didn't do anything, but then again, they were a few who wanted to become popular by speaking about him, because then they felt like they belong to the others, and some of them even enjoyed torturing him, and made his life like hell.  
This group wasn't really the most evil one, but Nishinoya heard them more than once speaking hurtful things about other students and him.  
Asahi did a few more steps when realized that Nishinoya have stopped.  
\- Ni... - he started, but then a group of students get near them, and he heard out some words from their conversation.   
"Fagot" - he didn't even blink at this, but as they leaved them, another word hit his ears - "lil' gay".  
That was the moment he realized they talked about Nishinoya, who was standing next to him, all tense, and fixating the floor.   
Asahi clenched his fist next to his body, fighting the need to hit those people; this whole situation was too familiar to him.  
\- Nishinoya... - he started with suppressed tension in his voice.  
\- Yes? - Nishinoya was scared as hell that Asahi had figured out everything, even that he have had a crush on him, and he will be disgusted and he will hate him.  
\- All of this is happening because you came out? - Nishinoya couldn't read Asahi's expression.  
\- Actually... I drunk kissed my crush, not really a came out story - he was ashamed of himself even more.  
There was a little surprise on Asahi's face, but it left really soon.  
\- Are you homosexual? - So there it was, the question, and Nishinoya was sure this will be the last thing they would talk about before Asahi will disappear again from his life.  
\- Bisexual, but no one cares, I am a fagot either way unless I am hetero - he mumbled rather to himself.  
The tension coming from Asahi had even raised, it had crossed Nishinoya's mind that Asahi will hit him, but somewhere he knew he won't do it.  
\- Don't ever talk about yourself like this! Especially near me!   
Nishinoya was astonished, he even missed a breath because of the surprise, and he can't help himself, he started coughing and choking on his own breath, absolutely inapposite.  
\- Oh my god, Nishinoya! Are you alright? - Asahi falls out of his seriousness.  
\- I... am ... I am okay - Nishinoya managed to tell while normalizing his breathing, looking up to Asahi, whit little teardrops in his eye because of the choking, or at least he told himself that they were there because of it.  
\- I don't want you to get hurt - Asahi's voice were soft, hurting Nishinoya to hear it, he get used to other peoples being unkind - Do you have someone with who you can walk home?   
\- I don't need a babysitter or someone to pity me... - Nishinoya protested.  
\- I don't pity you - Asahi was surprised - I just worry about you. Would you mind if I walk you home too?   
\- Uh I would be happy, but... You are not disgusted or concerned about being near me? You know, because I am...  
Asahi just smiled, laughing a little - If you would know...


	4. Chapter 4

-If you would know... - Asahi's laugh has echoed in Nishinoya's memory.

He didn't tell him what he should know, and slowly after this he went to work, leaving Nishinoya in the entrance of his classroom.  
Noya couldn't help himself but feel a little sad and empty because Asahi was gone. At least he promised to come after Noya's classes and walk him home.  
And above all of these things, Noya shouldn't think about Asahi when he was in the class.  
He tried to taking notes, but when he could concentrate again his phone buzzed  
it was from Tanaka  
/You still angry? 

Noya wrote a quick reply, but Tanaka have answered in no time

/ Nope. You was worried, you just wanted the best. Thanks.

/ Yuu. I can kick some ass if u wants me to

/thx, but don't worry. I am OK

/Did Asahi come?

/Yeah. He will walk me home after class too

/HA! Gay!   
/ kidding ;) but this is cute. Like you're a princess and he is your knight

/more like some weak deviant and my bodyguard :/

There were few minutes waiting for the answer. 

/ I will fight u too if u say those kind of things about yourself!   
Gotta go. We have a guest. Lav u  
/Skype 8pm

Noya couldn't help but smiled on his phone. Tanaka was his best friend, he was always on his side, even when he called him late at night because he freaked out, but Ryuu has this positive view on things, and he always managed to let Noya see the good side of the things, or at least the funny side, without actually making fun of him. If he wasn't there for him, then Nishinoya would be a lot more emotionally damaged than he already is, he saved him from breaking, and Noya couldn't be more grateful to his former classmate, he just wished they could meet more often.   
Noya have gone home every possible holiday, and he really tried to spend as much time with his friend as he could, but it was still little, and Tanaka have visited Noya only once, after the worst day of Nishinoya's life. He would come more often if he could, and the libero always wanted it, but he know that he can't force Tanaka, because for him there was the restaurant. Since his dad lost his ability to walk in a car accident just a few days after Tanaka started the college, he immediately dropped of the school and take over the family restaurant. At first it was really hard, as he told Nishinoya, but he was helping out for ages, so he got into it really fast.

/U are awesome – Nishinoya typed in a message sending to his friend.

__________

He ate lunch by himself, but he didn't mind it, because now, after a really long time he was excited, and can't wait to finish with his classes, because it means that Asahi will come for him.   
It was nothing weird... He was alone, and now there is him, being all cool and kind, and protective. Nishinoya was just happy to have someone as a friend, or so he told himself, but when his phone buzzed and it wrote Asahi's name as the senders he nearly jumped out of his skin wildly grinning on his phone. This is absolutely normal, he is a friend, he told himself.

/Hi Nishinoya! I have your number since high school; I hope you still have the same. Tanaka said you have. I am sorry; I will be late 5 minutes, because I can't get of the work sooner. Have a nice day!

It was so Asahi, Noya couldn't describe it with any other world. He was so polite, the smaller boy could nearly feel the shyness through the message, and he was probably really anxious about writing, but it was really nice.

/Yeah Asahi-san! This is me (: No prob, but u know if this is a trouble, u don't have to

Nishinoya waited for the answer holding back his breath. He didn't want Asahi to call it off, but he didn't want to bother him either.

/I know I don't. But I want to. Wait for me, Nishinoya!

The libero smiled on his phone like crazy. He didn't even have enough time to think about the reply when his phone ringed again.

/Wait. Don't you have practice today? I could go with you, or ask someone to.

Nishinoya's smile felt off of his face, leaving a bitter taste.

/Don't worry, I am not in the team anymore, I made them uncomfortable :)

He didn't want to sound like he is complaining, so he added a smiling face before sending.

/??? – This was Asahi's reply, nothing else.  
Noya sighted slowly why typing in the text.

/We will talk about it later, in person. Bye

When he stood up to leave for his last class was when he realized he wasn't alone anymore.  
\- You're in the way – a tall boy with glasses looked on him with scorn.  
Nishinoya tried to go away, but he was surrounded whit two other boys, each bigger than him. Not so long ago, he would pick up fight with them, or at least told something else, than the cringing – I am sorry – that left his mouth. And he hated himself for this, he hated that they could change him, take away something from his personality.

He know this wasn't enough for the boys, and he already felt the knot in his stomach, standing there, disgusted by himself,waiting for them to do with him what they want. His hands and legs started to shake from the anger and desperation.  
\- Oyo, Yako, you made the little faggot cry – said the one on his left whitamusement.  
\- Why so sad? Don't you want to make some money? I have a really nice offer foryou – there was something really cruel about his voice.  
\- Don't be so childish! Leave him alone.  
The boys who got interrupted in their game were looking really displeased.  
\- Leave, now. I have already called the cops, probably they won't arrest you,but it won't be a nice experience, I promise!   
\- Come on guys; go... this beach is ruining all the fun!   
The boys have left, once more pushing Nishinoya while one of them has gone pasthim.  
-Thank you!  
Nishinoya looked up on his savior gratefully. There was standing a tall girl,with long dark hair. He knows her, she was Naomi Shikaru, a second year studentjust as himself, but she was studying to become a dietitian. They didn't knoweach other personally, but there were a lot of rumors about her that Noya haveheard before he become the one they tell rumors about.  
She was really beautiful and has a small group of friends who were really closeto her, but most of the people don't like her. The girls were jealous andtalked about her having anorexia. Noya even know something about her rejectingevery boy who tried to pick her up at the beginning of college, they said thatshe is mean, snob, insidious and crazy. There was a rumor that she lives withan older man, who pays to her for it, being some kind of a prostitute.   
But Nishinoya have already experienced that people are evil to each other, andafter all this was the second time she helped him out. He remembered that fewweeks ago when he was beaten by few students she saw it from distance andcalling the professors.  
\- No, don't thank me. It would have to be natural that you don't get molestedin the school during your lunch break – She seemed very furious, but then calmeddown a bit - I am sorry, just, you know, it just remind me of one of my closefriends. Otherwise, I Am Naomi Shikaru, nice to meet you, and don't worry, I havenot called cops.  
\- I know you. I am Yuu Nishinoya. Thanks for saving me... Again.  
\- You know? – she looked surprised, rising one of her eyebrows above her reallydark eyes, but then she suddenly realized – The rumors, yeas, I think I ampretty infamous there. And if we are here I know you too. You are thestupidest, or the bravest person on the university, but I haven't decided yet.But I think I will go with the first one  
\- Why? – He started to feel really uncomfortable next to this unique girl.  
\- You really have to ask this? You decided to came out kissing the mosthomophobe and biggest womanizer on the whole university while half of it waswatching, the best idea on the world. Why Kenichi? He is a jerk, there are so many nice people, and you knowif someone is into males it helps a lot too. No offense - there was just asmall amount of sarcasm in her voice.  
-It wasn't really a decision...   
\- Whatever. You are an easy target; you are small, and alone. It is alreadyannoying for me to watch how they treat you, so you can come and sit with us atlunch - she was a little witty, but Nishinoya actually liked this.  
\- Thank you Shikaru-san – He was truly touched, the friendliness of strangerhave restored a little of his trust in the humanity.  
\- It is Naomi, or Mimi. I hate my surname – she still seemed a little annoyed,but Noya started to realize that maybe this is just her personality and she istrying to be kind.  
\- Thank you Mimi-san! 


	5. Chapter 5

Asahi have run nearly all the way from work to the local college.  
Nishinoya was already there, anxiously waiting on the corner of the stairway that lead to the entrance of the college, but when he saw the older guy; he sighted a little and make a change in his behavior. Asahi felt like it was just a play to look confident, happy and everything he was when they were teammates.  
\- I thought you changed your mind and you won't come – he acted all enthusiastic, as he launched on the way to his home.  
\- I feel how much do you think about my promises... You don't trust me- the spiker commented bitterly, more because of the feeling that Nishinoya is lying with his behavior.  
\- I trust you! More than anything! – The libero answered too fast, he didn't think it thought, so when he realized what he said, he tried to correct it - You are our ace... Everybody trusts you.  
Asahi's eyebrows went upwards as he looked confused on Noya  
\- You still refer to me as the ace? Your best friend was the ace on your last year...  
\- Yeah, Tanaka was great... that's true. But after you... all of you left it wasn't the same.  
\- Oh, I thought it was good, the black haired, extremely tall first year seemed as a good potential for wing spiker, and you got a new libero on the bench ...  
Nishinoya suddenly stopped walking.  
\- Wait. How do you know about this stuff?   
\- Actually, I was on the few of your first games before I got a job here – he said scratching his neck nervously.  
\- You were there??? - Nishinoya never felt like he was doing the right thing not telling the tall guy about coming to Chiba, but he definitely did. Asahi didn't want to meet him.  
\- You were so close to me and you never... -he asked with widening eyes.  
He can't get himself to walk anymore, not when Asahi was there. Asahi, for who he wanted to come in this hell of the city. Asahi, who couldn't even been bothered to tell him that he was so close, just so he didn't need to meet him. He always knew that the spiker doesn't like him the same way. He was extremely attractive, strong, and big, but in the same time kind, overprotective and cute... Nishinoya once saw a girl from his class confess to him. There was not even a chance for a loud, skinny, small and childish boy like him, but he thought they are friends....  
\- I didn't want to disturb you... I thought if I meet you it would affect your game, and then after it you all seemed so happy, and busy with each other, I felt myself like I would be intruding with my presence.  
\- You are an idiot! – Nishinoya felt himself at the very edge of crying – I always waited for you to show up, but you never did... But I never really thought that you choose not to see us, not to see me...  
\- Nishinoya, look... - but the youngest one never let Asahi to finish.  
\- Why are you even there?? You just pity me, right? Just because Ryuu called you once, you... - his voice started to tremble – You don't have to act like you like me...  
\- Nishinoya – Asahi have reached to touch his shoulder.  
For Nishinoya it was to sudden, he knows what fast movements in his way usually meant to him.  
\- I am sorry, please don't hit me – he huddled himself together.  
A few moments passed in deadly silence, both of them frozen in movement realizing what have just happened.  
-Oh my god, Asahi! I am so sorry! – Nishinoya blurted out as the other one slowly let his hand fall beside of him.  
\- I would never hurt you – he responded still shocked.  
\- I know, I just... I ... I don't know, it was just a reflex – the libero grabbed his hand, he was desperate to convince him.  
\- I know, I should have thought before I do anything...  
\- God, please... Asahi-san, please, don't be angry, I am so stupid! I didn't mean it like this.  
\- I know. It's alright – Asahi forced a smile in his face, he felt nauseous, what did they do to his Nishinoya to make him this scared? He felt like he could kill someone, if he stayed in front of him and he would be sure he was the one responsible.  
\- I will touch you - he said with low voice as he gently stroke Nishinoya's chin, and then whispered to him with his most convincing voice – I am really sorry to scare you. And the games.... I actually thought about it a lot, what I should do back then, but I know you. You would hate me if I would be a cause of your distraction, if you lost because of it. Forget this, now this is just a past I may made a mistake, but now there is nothing to do...  
\- I could never hate you- he mumbled, but the panic have definitely loosen his grip around his chest.  
\- You actually did it, after the lost against Dateko - Asahi smiled a bit, he was over it, and this was just some story from the past that can't affect his life anymore.  
\- I didn't... I never... I... - Noya started to stutter.  
\- Doesn't matter, I have outlived worse things, and after all, you were right – the older one let it go with a small smile – Do you still like soda flavored ice cream? I saw a small shop in my way here, and I thought I will treat you...  
\- Uh? – The libero was surprised by the sudden change, but he adapted quite fast, happy that they don't need to talk about uncomfortable and hard things – I like? NO! I love it!   
Asahi was happy to see the excitement of his former underclassman, and he paid attention to not talk about hard or painful stuffs, just small talk, or having fun. He didn't ask anything about the past, or how he gets in this situation, not even about why he went to college across the nation, away from his friends and family, nor why he didn't tell him about it, he thought they were friends...  
And he was especially careful not to touch him, even when he walked so close to him that the felt tingles on his arm. He refused the urge to gently touch his back as he let him go first in the shop, didn't touch his shoulder when he grinned up to him like a satisfied toddler while receiving the ice cream.  
When the awkwardness of Noya's freak out settled down it was a really good time, they had fun, Nishinoya was all loud and full of energy, while Asahi walked next to him, with a gentle smile, sometimes blushing a little when the libero said something flattering. It was nearly like in the old days.  
\- We are here – Nishinoya seemed a little disappointed when they finally arrived to his door, but then smiled on the older - Thank you for walking with me.  
\- I will come tomorrow too – he responded with a small smile – if you want me...  
\- Asahi... this is a turn-out for you, isn't it?  
\- No, not really. It just another way than the one I used till now – actually this another way took him 35 minutes more, and was in exact opposite direction, but it doesn't matter.  
\- Than okay, I don't want to be a drag on you – he seemed a little worried, but happy.  
\- I wouldn't do it if you were...  
\- Thank you, for everything, and I am sorry we didn't meet before...  
Asahi looked like he was going to ask something, but he rather don't. There will be time...  
\- Good bye Nishinoya – he smiled on him once more before he left.  
The libero stepped in the house with a huge sight. He enjoyed being with Asahi, he felt so happy... But he didn't want to ruin this friendship too, but today at the beginning he nearly did it because of his stupid reflexes. He saw how Asahi avoided every touch, how he pulled away his arm when Nishinoya get to close to him. The knot in his stomach have raised every time the older boy stepped away a little to give Nishinoya place, and he knew it was all because of his stupid reaction.

\- - - -

The next morning Asahi already waited for him, in a shirt that looked exactly like the one the day before, maybe he have to wear it for his job  
\- Good morning – he said with sleepy voice.  
\- 'Morning! – Nishinoya grinned at him.  
\- It should be banned to be energetic this early – Asahi yawned.  
\- Do you need coffee? – The libero asked amused by the older ones difficulty to stay awake.  
\- My roommate made me one before I left – he refused kindly – You two would get on really well, at least at the mornings.  
Their way to the classroom went uneventfully, just when they arrived Asahi started to act really anxious.  
\- Ohm... Noya, would you mind to ... I don't know... go for a drink or anything? I would like to talk with you... if you don't mind... - his face flushed a little, looking really self-conscious.  
\- Oh... of course - Nishinoya agreed, while he felt the increasing panic in his chest.  
Why would he want to talk? What if he would say that he changed his mind and he doesn't want to keep in touch anymore? Or what if he will make him to tell why he is in Chiba, or how all of this happened to him? He would think he is gross, disgusting or weak... He will know that he changed, and he won't like the "new" one of him...  
Nishinoya had to remind himself to breath, but it was getting harder. He felt his palm perspire.  
\- Okay, let's meet then, I have to go! – He shouted out fast and then run into the building, looking for the first bathroom he could find. A pressure pushing his chest made his breath shallow and fast, but even then he couldn't get enough air, heard the blood pulsate in his ears. He laid his head on the cold air, trying to focus, counting his breathing. He can't let himself to have a panic attack right now...  
The cold wall calmed him down a little. Air in. Air out. Repeat.   
When his breathing and pulse came back to normal, he washed his face with water, 2 minutes left till his class. Nishinoya run out of the restroom, he can't be late; today he had practical lessons, so he can't even write back for somebody who had send him a crazy amount of messages, at least it felt like because of the non-stop vibrating phone in his pocket.  
At the end of the class he had 16 notifications, from Asahi and from Ryuu.  
He firstly opened the chat with Asahi.  
/Are you alright?  
/You don't have to talk if you don't want  
/I am sorry, if I scared you :/

He immediately started to feel guilty because he made Asahi worry.  
/Don't mind me; we could go on a drink. Sorry for acting crazy

Then he opened the messages that come from his best friend

/Yuu? Are you alright?  
/ is there any reason you want to tell me, why Asahi called me, I think at the edge of crying, asking if I can look on you, because thinks he caused you a panic attack when he asked you to meet for a drink?  
/ What on earth is wrong with you?  
/Poor guy is trying really hard  
/did he do something wrong? I can kick his ass too  
/or maybe not.   
/He is really big  
/but for you, I will try  
/now I am just rambling  
/please write back to me  
/and to Asahi  
/ u know how easily he freaked out in high school, I think he still has a glass heart  
/now I remembered you have practice, write me back when you will finish

/ don't worry, I am okay

The response came in a few seconds, Ryuu was probably waiting for the message.  
/you wouldn't freak out for nothing. Tell what's wrong to you bro

/ really, it's nothing. Just... what if Asahi would think I am gross? Or if he asks me why I am in Chiba? I can't just tell somebody, some GUY, that I had a crush on him, so I choose to go to school across the half nation, and then just didn't tell him I am here, and after it I have crush on some other guy, and drunk kissed him, so now the whole university hates me!   
/ I sound crazy even for myself

/he already know that u are into guys too, I would be honored if some cool kid like my bro had a crush on me, and u know that it is not the whole school, just few morons. There are normal people, for example the girl from yesterday, the pretty one you told me about ;) 

Nishinoya have felt relief after talking to Tanaka, they were like sharing the same brain, he always knew what to tell to calm him down.  
/Thanks bro, I luv u

The classes were boring, but after it, there was a launch break, and he found himself standing in the middle of the cafeteria that the students used for eatery. He saw where Mimi and her friends sit, but he could bring himself to go there. He was already making his mind to leave and find some other spot to eat, when the girl spotted him.   
She waved to him, looking with a steady gaze. She was sitting with three other girls, and a boy. Nishinoya approached them, while they made a place for him to sit down.  
\- Nishiya-san? – Mimi asked to make sure about his name.  
\- Nishinoya, actually – He mumbled to himself.  
\- Okay, than Nishinoya, this girl on my left is Marui, the couple on the middle is Satsuki and her boyfriend Haku, yeah, and the small one hiding behind the book is Ayu.   
Everyone of them welcomed the boy, while he tried to memorize the names and faces.  
Marui was a brunette girl with glasses and blue eyes. Satsuki looked like every other girl, dark hair, dark eyes, but something about her big grin and happy eyes was giving her a special beauty.  
His boyfriend was a tall guy, with black hair and pale skin; he only gave Nishinoya a shy smile. Then he looked on Ayu, she was small, smaller than the libero, with blonde hair falling in her face making her green eyes outstand even more, she looked like she had western ancestors, and she couldn't say a simple "hi" without blushing. She was really cute.  
It was weird for Nishinoya, he never actually hang out with girls, but he tried his best, giving a big grin to them.  
\- Oh please, Ayu... you look like a tomato, you should calm down yourself before you pass out of the huge amount of blood in your head – Mimi was the one who broke the awkward silence.  
\- I am sorry, if I made you uncomfortable – Nishinoya apologized really fast.  
\- It's not you, she is just shy... I mean really shy – Have Marui told him with a little smile – and Mimi, you could have said it a little less mean.  
\- She knows I like her, otherwise I wouldn't spend my time with her – she smiled gently on the smallest girl in a group.  
\- Maybe if you would be nicer more people would like you – Satsuki added amused by the situation.  
\- Yeah, and it has nothing to do with the weird rumors about me - she rolled her eyes, and then turn to Nishinoya to explain – I mean yes, I do live with a guy, but he definitely not paying me anything. I am the one, who pays the rent for him, and he is just a year older, he just has that grown-up appearance and he looks a little dangerous... But really, he has a heart of glass.  
\- Yeah, I know the type – the libero smiled wildly, it sounded like Mimi's boyfriend is similar to Asahi, and then he absolutely could understand them.  
Fuck, he should not think like this about Asahi.  
The launch went great, after few minutes everyone loosened up and started to talk, joke, and gently grid each other. When the break was over everyone made sure Nishinoya will join them next day too.  
He felt so happy and full of energy while he was going on his last class, like wasn't in really long time, everything seemed to go just perfect... and then he remembered Asahi and their meeting...   
He started to feel nauseous again.

\----

After his last class Asahi was already there, waiting for him. His messy bun started to fall apart, some off his locks falling in his face, his brown eyes shining with care.   
Nishinoya can't help his heart beating faster.  
\- Are you okay? – Asahi looked at him in fear that the libero will run away again.   
\- Yeah, absolutely – he grinned.  
The gentle smile on Asahi's face made his heart skip a beat.  
He is just a friend, he remembered himself, thinking about Kenichi to suppress his happiness. He won't do the same mistake again.


	6. Chapter 6

They were in a small coffee near the campus. Nishinoya can't help himself feeling a bitter taste in his mouth when he saw the looks that their waitress give Asahi, although the guy have only concentrated on the libero.  
\- Am I making you nervous? - the spiker rised his eyebrows.  
\- No... Yes. I don't know, maybe a little - Nishinoya felt the older stare at him with worry.   
\- You don't have to be there with me if you don't want to.  
He reached across the table to touch Nishinoya's hand. The tension from to strong, taned (and maybe a little sweaty) palm vibrated across the small boy's hand, and didn't stop until it came to his stomach just to twist it. For the god sake, it was even nice to look at their hands together, his was so small and pale, and Asahi's looked manly, like a hand that could do everything.  
It was definitely something he shouldn't feel while he is with a friend, but it was so warm and nice to touch his skin.  
He moved his hand away, to stop himself in the over thinking, but Asahi understood it wrong.  
\- I am sorry - the gentle giant stared on the table - I shouldn't do things like this...  
\- No, no... It was fine, just surprised me - Nishinoya lied. He couldn't admit this small touch sent butterflies in his abdomen!   
\- What can I bring for you? - A red haired girl came to them, giving Asahi an appreciative look. The knot in Nishinoya's stomach have taken over the butterflies place. The spiker was definitely popular with girls (why he wouldn't be?), why is he wasting time to make an old teammate feel better?  
\- Noya, you still drink your coffee black with two sugars? - Asahi asked with friendly smile.  
\- Yeah...   
\- Then two of it.  
\- I will be back with your drinks - Asahi barely looked on the girl next to him, so she had to leave a bit disappointed.  
\- How have you known...? - Nishinoya asked perplexed. His fingers started to fidgeting with the drink menu on the table.  
\- Oh, that... you once come to our house in your first year to practice, and then I made it for you - he flushed and continued in lower voice - and you know... I kind of drink it the same since that... I thought it was really cool - and it reminded him of the small libero, but he didn't have the courage to say it out loud.  
\- So that's why. I remembered you have had it with a huge amount of milk - Nishinoya was excited and proud that he could show off with remembering it too.  
\- Everyone always looked on me with funny expression because they thought it is too childish for someone like me – the older one got anxious for a few moments.  
\- Who cares what other people think? – There was some of the old flame in Nishinoya's voice, and this made Asahi's heart flutter in happiness.   
Nishinoya was always something special, at least for him. In the past two days he was worried about him, he didn't know the whole story yet, but he missed the happiness and boisterous energy which radiated once from the libero, but he wasn't planning to give up on him not now and not ever. He wanted to make him careless and smiling again, to protect him from everyone who could hurt him, including himself.   
Asahi knew that he has had a difficult personality even when he was in high school but since then there were things that happened to him too, and they have definitely left marks on him and his behavior.  
He knew about himself being into males since junior high, but he never told anyone. He never spoke up about how deeply in love was he with the small libero, and now that three years have left, he was through some bad things, and he was hurt emotionally more than once, he knew all of this, and in spite of it his feelings still started to revive. It didn't take more than a look on the spiked haired boy to know, he was helpless again.  
He need to remind hinself that Nishinoya maybe is a bisexual, but it doesn't mean he was his type, or wants anything. Now he just needs a friend and to rebuild his trust in people, Asahi can't take advantage from his situation; he knew it too well, so he won't let himself to feel more than that.   
\- Asahi, are you alright? – The grin on the libero's face has faded.   
\- Yeah, I just spaced out a bit. No need to worry.  
The waitress came back with their coffee, smiling, mostly on Asahi. Nishinoya can't have it unseen how she touched the spiker's forearm while putting down the hot drink, but the guy didn't even look at her twice, just politely thanked her.  
\- You are really popular with girls... - he mentioned while watching the red-hair leave.  
\- What makes you think so? – Asahi asked a little flushed.  
\- I was already expecting her to sit in your lap, nearly I felt bad for her,trying so hard... - Noya responded laughing but there was some kind of tension in his voice that Asahi translated to himself as he is mad because he didn't get the same attention.  
\- She just hopes that I will give her high tip – Asahi mumbled uncomfortable in the situation.  
\- Come on! Don't be so shy, you are amazingly attractive! – the small boy talked without thinking again , and then already regretted it. How stupid he needs to be to say thing like this to his friend?  
\- Thank you Noya, but I think you are maybe the only one thinking like that –the former ace smiled gently on him, while the libero's ears turned in the darker shades of red.   
\- Who the fuck says anything else? – He was already so into embarrassing himself that he could even go with it a little further.  
\- Language – Asahi sighted when people started to turn around because the too loud cursing.  
\- Whom the fuck has said something else?  
\- Nishinoya... - the older one whined defeated.  
The embraced and flushed Asahi brought some memories back to Nishinoya about Karasuno, back than he thought it is funny how anxious he is, making a little contest how could he make him blush even more by jumping or climbing on him,and he never get angry, just tried to catch him and not fall or drop the tiny boy. Maybe he wasn't as noisy and didn't have as similar personality as him and Tanaka,but he was always there, smiling gently, blushing or trying to reduce the damage two of them did while buggering around.   
\- I missed you – he said with a suddenly kind voice.  
Asahi froze for a minute, the red color disappearing from his face.  
\- Than why? Why you didn't tell me anything? For three years! – He said it with so low voice that Nishinoya barely heard it – Did I do something to you?   
\- No, I just... - the libero thought about his last year in Karasuno, when he spoke up again there was an old pique in his voice - Actually yes. You was the one who left me there, I thought we were friends.  
\- We were... I got a job here, my parents moved here... I had to leave! – Asahi lookedat him misbelieving.   
\- I don't talk about it! – shouted, but when he noticed the angry look on the face of other guests he continued with lower voice – After you graduated we met twice, both time I was the one asking you, and then I thought maybe you are just kind to me and I am getting to your nerves, so I decided to wait for you to call me. But you never called, you disappeared, now I know that despite the fact that you were on few of our matches, you never contacted me. I heard about you moving from Daichi. After half a year you showed up at New Year party, when Suga made you drink because of your birthday and you get too drunk, I was the one who was looking after you the whole time, but next day you didn't even remembered that I was there. Don't get me wrong I knew this was the really rare example of you being drunk and I don't blame you for it. When I decided to come here in college I heard from Suga that all of you planned to come on our graduation, I wanted to tell you about me coming to Chiba, but you called it off in the last minute,... so yeah, after all of this I didn't think it would even matter if I tell you, you was clearly not interested in keeping in touch with me.  
At the end of his monolog he had a wobbly voice but he stared at his former ace undaunted.  
\- I am sorry Noya... I just had a lot of things in my life. I wanted to meet you,but I was a coward, I am sorry. Your graduation, I have already had the tickets for train, even bought a present for you, but there were a lot of things coming up... - the spiker mumbled anxiously.  
\- For example what? – Nishinoya asked firmly.   
\- My... My parents divorced, mostly because of me, my mother have moved to Sendai to help with my brother's twins, and my father left for good, I think he went to Tokyo, but we haven't talked since it .So I had to learn how to live alone – his eyes were directed on the table for the whole time, a little tear escaping from them, and his voice was full of guilt and self-hate.  
\- Asahi, I am sorry... I shouldn't have pushed you - the libero realized he had gone a little too far.  
The other boy didn't do anything but help him altough they weren't friends anymore, and now Noya,... How stupid should he had to be to start to blame him for things that happened years ago?  
\- Nah, you have the right to know why have I been so unfair towards you...  
-Asahi! Please! Don't be so kind to me, you should be angry on me, yell with me for being so irreverent – Nishinoya reached across the table to hold on the spiker's forearm, he wanted to get some real reaction. He is not so breakable, Asahi doesn't need to tolerate his selfishness.  
\- No, Nishinoya, don't. From your perspective I was really awful, if i was you I would be upset too – his kind voice and honest smile calmed down the libero,and the sadness in his eyes have started to fade away, leaving only a memory in Nishinoya to remind him that he is not the only one whose life wasn't all flowers and happiness in the time they spent separated.  
They just sit there for few minutes, drinking their coffee, both of them got a few things to think about, but then the time just passed and neither of them knew what they could even say, the silence growing more and more uncomfortable.  
\- Asahi... You brought me here, because you wanted to hear about what happened in college that made things like they are, aren't you? – Nishinoya was the first who spoke up.  
\- Yes, of course – Asahi was clearly surprised because of the sudden change –But you don't need to tell me if you don't want to...  
\- I... I think you deserve to know, since you landed in the middle of it...  
It was a long conversation, with a lot's of anger, and tears from both of them,somewhere in between Asahi have changed the seat to be next to Noya. This was the first time the small guy have thought about all of it, of the one mistake he made and everything it caused to his life, even losing the only thing he loved, volleyball. He missed the sport, he missed his friends, and he missed going to school without fear.  
At the end they sat there for long time in silence, Asahi comforting the sobbing libero in his arms. When did he hug him? Neither of them really knew, but it was so natural and warm feeling that none of them questioned the accuracy of it.


	7. Chapter 7

One of his co-workers asked Asahi for a swap in their schedules, so for once he was early, waiting before the already known building of the local university.  
He still have half hour before the concerted time when he met Nishinoya there, and at least 20 minutes before his last class finishes.

Three weeks have passed since they reunited, and the bruises have slowly faded away on the small boys body (he get some new ones once, but they weren't serious, and he hid it from Asahi for a few days, and later when he found out they had a little fight because of it), he was a lot more energetic, and each day he more resembled to his past happy self. The fact that he befriended some other students helped a lot too, although the spiker haven't met them yet, but the most helpful for the libero's mentality was that he joined for some practices to the neighborhood association volleyball team where Asahi and his friends played. He actually blossomed on the court; he amazed everyone with his fast reflexes and precise digs. Asahi couldn't be prouder on him, or happier because of having his "guardian deity" playing with him again, and see his smile left a warm feeling in his chest.  
In the past days Asahi spend the most of his time with Nishinoya, sometimes he stayed with him playing videogames in the libero's apartment, or they just talked about old times, for a few times Asahi have cooked for them, those times Nishinoya always acted like the older guy made him a five start dinner, but it was something really easy all the time. The small touches between them were getting more and more common, even Nishinoya thought that it would be ridiculous to freak out because of a little touch when he cried out his eyes in a public place, clinging on him.  
When they weren't together, they have texted each other. Mimi accused his housemate that he is dating someone, so Asahi had to tell her that he is just talking with an old friend, and she would maybe even believe him, he wasn't so flustered, but she didn't asked more, she was just happy for him after everything that happened in their past, and she knew that she don't need to push, Asahi will told her everything if there will be something serious. 

There were still few minutes left till the end of Nishinoya's class when the spiker felt the urge to go and find the student's bathroom. When he finally founded it at the end of the hallway he entered it with a bit of hurry. In there where already two other guys, talking to each other, and they didn't even give a second glance to the outsider.  
\- I know, right? Those stupid second years want back the deviant libero! - The blonde one said laughing to his friend.  
Asahi stopped in the movement and couldn't help himself to eavesdrop to the conversation, he was nearly sure they are talking about Nishinoya.  
\- Just imagine he was creeping about us the whole time we changed together... - the other guy was a little shorter, but athletic, black haired with an accentuated nose.  
\- He was creeping about me, disgusting - the blond one with blue eyes imitated vomiting - He kissed me that should be illegal. Little faggot  
\- I remember it, it was funny to watch. How he run out of your house, I thought he would start crying - with every word, and with every sound of laughing Asahi's vision started to turn more and more red.  
\- Yeah, but maybe I shouldn't have reacted like this. You know... the kiss was sooo disgusting, but I bet he would be up to it if I would want to use him in little different ways - he laughed so hard, that he had difficulties breathing.  
Asahi felt nauseous, barely realizing someone has left the bathroom.  
\- He is so short; he wouldn't even need to kneel...  
This was the breaking point for Asahi, he never used his strength against others outside the court, but now they crossed a line, a really important line.  
(In the same time Nishinoya just finished his last class, he couldn't even left the classroom yet when Haku came to him running)  
Asahi grabbed the shirt of the blonde, he know him from the stories Nishinoya told him, so he have a lot more reasons behind pushing Kenichi to the wall than just the conversation he overheard.  
The brunette was a little shorter than the setter, but he was definitely having more muscles.  
\- You know what? You are the only disgusting one!  
Kenichi looked surprised and a little afraid of the guy who attacked him; he could felt the anger radiating from him, and now he was sure he never saw him before on the campus.  
\- Hey, slow down big guy - he tried to get out of the situation but the pressure have only increased, his clavicle started to ache under the strong hands. Maybe I have slept with his girlfriend, he thought to himself.  
\- I can explain...  
\- Asahi! - There was a familiar voice shouting from the door, and in this moment have Kenichi realized that the guy attacking him was actually pissed because of the things he said a few moments before, and he was truly amazed by it, he didn't think it was offensive at all, it was only the truth.  
\- Please - Nishinoya have had a shortness of breath showing that he had run here.  
Asahi have slowly calmed down, and let Kenichi go. The black haired got to him instantly, helping the setter to stand.  
\- Noya, I am sorry - Asahi said with a blush on his face stepping closer to the door, but it wasn't the sweet and cute kind of blush the libero liked so much on him, it was full of regret and shame.  
\- Just another deviant - Kenichi hissed with evilness in his voice - Noya, it looks like you have a thing for big boys, you must like it rough.  
He wouldn't let go any opportunity to harm the small boy's emotions, especially not after he was embarrassed like this because of this small trash.  
The little teardrop in Nishinoya's eyes provoked Asahi's not even nearly fully eased anger even more. He turned around and punched the setter's cocky face. He wasn't thinking the movement was all the anger, instinct and adrenalin.  
\- What the fuck man? - His friend gasped while Kenichi's nose started to bleed.  
Asahi was still standing there like he was ready to fight; even Nishinoya had a light shiver looking at a furious giant, so the two volleyball players thought it is better to go.  
\- Just don't think that you can go away with this - the black haired said, as they left the scene.  
\- Noya...- Asahi whispered, with a little crack in his voice, seemingly shocked - I hit someone...  
\- I know, I saw it - he sighted, while stepping next to him.  
Asahi looked down on him, the tension was still in him but he seemed ready to cry too, still trembling from adrenaline. Even if he acted like a scary bad guy in previous moments, Nishinoya knew him, and the fact, that his heart was made of glass.  
\- Thank you for defending me - he said with little smile - But I don't want you to get in trouble because of me... I know you are not like this.  
\- You don't know what they said... I... I just wanted them to shut up.  
\- I know this feeling - he smiled bitterly, but then looked in Asahi's eyes seriously, placing one hand on his chest to calm him down his heavy breathing - I am used to it, but you could have been hurt.  
\- I don't want you to be used to it - he leaned a little against the libero.  
They were standing there for a few seconds, looking in each other's eyes. Nishinoya could see that something was really different in his former upperclassman. There was a tension in him, all powerful and wild, something very similar like he was on the court, and he can't forget the fact that Asahi stepped out of his comfort zone, picked up a fight,... just because to defend his honor.  
The heat of their body's closeness felt like a tingle all over his skin, while his heart tried to escape his ribcage.  
\- Fuck - Asahi broke the silence, leaning over the distance between them.  
His lips were soft and warm; as they meet Nishinoya's cracked ones causing his brain to shut down.  
The smaller just stood there for a while, but when Asahi give up, and started murmuring a "sorry", he realized what's happening and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back in the kiss.  
It was a desperate kiss, full off instincts, desire and the emotional ups and downs they have gone through. Nishinoya opened his mouth, and Asahi immediately deepened the kiss with his tongue, his big hands fondling the libero's hips and back.  
They didn't notice when there moved to the wall, Nishinoya just felt the cold pressure against his back as the contrast to the warm body against his. He pulled Asahi closer, with both hands hugging his neck. It wasn't romantic, it was indelicate and fast, a way to put the aggression away, but full of need to touch and feel each other closer.  
The taller guy left his lips when he felt the pain in his chest because he forget to breath for a while, but before he could start to complain, there were kisses and small bites on his neck making him a hot mess of pleasure. Asahi was definitely good in what he was doing, he definitely practiced this before.  
Nishinoya throw his head back, granting better access to his sensitive skin, where his shoulders meet his neck, a quiet moan escaping his mouth.  
Asahi's legs have come between his thighs, his foot nearly didn't touch the floor, but the taller guy was holding him steady, a little in the air. Then there were lips on lips again, and Noya just wanted more, he nearly climbed Asahi, as he tried to be closer to him, there was no such a thing as being close enough. He just wanted more and more...  
A dull voice from outside the bathroom have broke the magic, they both stopped, opening their eyes, and their brains have restarted.  
Nishinoya felt his heart breaking, when Asahi instead of the overwhelming happiness and desire the he felt, had looked back on him terrified.  
\- Oh god, I am sorry, Nishinoya - he blushed, and moved away quickly, letting the other one to stand on his own feet.  
Nishinoya felt empty, his body missed Asahi's warmth, and he didn't know what to do with his hands now that he couldn't hold the older boy. The sadness and the fear of rejection burnt his chest, his every little cell screamed "Not again", and the whole situation was too similar to another one, when he let himself to show his emotions.  
\- I shouldn't have attacked you like this, I should have asked, and ... and... fuck, I forced myself on you, didn't I? I am just as bad, as them - the spiker was near of having a panic attack - I am so sorry... it was just a rush...  
The smaller have experienced a relief and breaking heart at the same time. Asahi wasn't disgusted he was worrying because of him, but at the same time it was just a stupid mistake, he didn't want him, he just happened to be there...  
\- You are so stupid! Yeah, you should have asked? Warn me? Something like this, and then maybe I wouldn't stood there like this for first minutes, and maybe a public restroom isn't the best place for this kind of interaction, but after all, I clearly remember kissing you back, so don't worry it happened with my consent... - he hide the aching pain in his chest and the dull knot in his stomach and rather tried to convince the delicate heart of his Ace that he didn't do anything wrong so don't be too hard on himself.  
\- Oh - Asahi blushed a little with nervous laugh - Yes, you are right. Sorry. Just you know, the adrenalin, and I was freaking out, and you were there, all kind and caring... But it was really nice... You know... Oh, sorry, I am rambling....  
Nishinoya had to remember himself, to not over think. This was just because of the situation, it doesn't meant that this gentle giant would want to kiss him, or have something with him if he wouldn't been so freaked out then there is no way he would do this...  
Asahi was blushing again. The silence grow more and more uncomfortable, neither of them know what they should say to the other one.  
After few minutes passed, and they still just stand there looking on the floor, Nishinoya couldn't take the awkward silent.  
\- Couldn't we just act like it didn't happen? - He was blushing, and wanted to disappear.  
\- I would be more than happy...

This night both of them went home with a bittersweet taste on their lips.


	8. Chapter 8

Mimi arrived home a little late, but it didn't matter since her housemate was out with his secret "just friend" every day 'till late hours for a few weeks now. She missed spending time with him, but it was so refreshing to see how gladsome he was every morning leaving to meet "the friend" before work or when he got home seeing the happy smile on his face.  
Asahi had an introvert personality; sometimes it was really hard for Mimi to tell how he felt, but now the happiness have gently shined through his every movement. She was happy for him too, a little jealous of his time, but happy.   
In the past two years, Asahi become her closest friend, he was like family, so she would do anything to keep him this light-hearted. He deserved it more than anyone.

She was already preparing the dinner (it was her turn, Asahi made curry the day before) when she heard the voices from the other part of the house.  
\- Asahi? – There was a little fear in her voice since she thought that she is alone.  
\- Yeah? – The friendly face with goatee shoved up in the kitchen entrance.  
\- Why are you already home? – she asked shocked looking for every little detail on his face that could show that something bad happened.  
This little question reminded Asahi of the "bathroom incidence" and the awkward walk to Noya's house and the uncomfortable silence while he left him in the entrance of the apartment, both of them madly flustered, looking anywhere else just not in the other's eyes.  
The spiker's face turned to the bright red under a second.  
\- It's no... nothing – he mumbled rather to himself, but it was a weak try to fool the girl.  
\- Oh my god, Asahi! What happened? – She left everything she was doing to grab the man who was already trying to escape and run in his room.  
\- Really nothing - even his neck started to change to a brighter color.  
\- You look like my friend from college, Ayu... And she is a quarter from your size and she is blushing a lot. And I know you are a shy one too, but this is so much even for you – she dragged Asahi to the couch – Please, tell me! What did you do?   
\- Kind of...  
\- What happened?   
\- We kissed... I kissed him – his fluster was out of control.  
\- And? – Her voice was full of happy nervousness – Wait! Why are you here than? You should do your gay stuff somewhere together  
\- It shouldn't have happened. We are not like this, he is in a hard situation and I should never take advantage of it. I am so stupid and horrible person – the guy busted.  
\- Oh my... - she hugged him gently – It's alright, you would never do anything harmful to anyone on purpose.  
\- I should never ... I shouldn't be that happy about it... I have to forget those feelings... I supposed to be his friend – he was really on the edge of crying.  
\- Asahi... why you didn't tell me about this mysterious someone before? – Her eyes were kind and worried, but there was a little discomfort in it.  
\- I... He... He is in the university too, and I don't really want you two to meet.  
She felt insulted, but looking at her expression Asahi explained it really fast.  
\- I don't want him to think that we live together because... you know... we are ....  
\- Asahi, you could say sex, or sexual relationship, or anything. You are a grown up man in his twenties – she looked on him still misbelieving of how innocent he is.  
\- I know. I just said I don't want him to think that we... are a couple. And I don't want to talk about Hino either...or for at least not now.  
\- I could understand it – she smiled on him reassuringly – Then I don't mind waiting to get know this friend.  
\- Thank you – the small smile he gave her was everything she needed to know, that it was exactly what he needed to hear.  
\- But Asahi... If it really shouldn't become something romantic then you either have to take some distance or at least try to find someone else for dating – she was still worried that his spiker's glass heart will broke again.  
\- Mimi! It's... - he can't finish the sentence while his face flamed up with unbelievable speed.  
\- Come on, let me introduce you someone, just for once. You never even met my college friends, and I know someone who is just your type - she leaned next to his ear and whispered in it with a little giggle - You know, the short and energetic type.  
\- MIMI! NOO!

\-----

The first days after this were full of awkward situations because of the accidental touches and a lot of red faces, but with every day it get a little closer to normal, getting back in their routine from the weeks before. Nishinoya never brought up how on the most nights his nightmares were replaced with dreams about Asahi, his hot breath on his neck, the big hands around him and the cold pressure of the wall against his back, and how he woke up with a red face which he dig in his pillow while trying to calm down in the middle of the night, and Asahi never said anything about listening to the most sappy romantic songs while fantasizing about the taste of Nishinoya's lips, the sweet weight of his, that he lifted so easily , or the smoothness of his skin. Most importantly they never spoke up about the shame and self-blame they felt for these actions. After all, it wasn't getting back in normal, they just learned how to suppress their reactions, how act like they forget about it until they made even themselves believe it. 

After a little more than a week, when they played some fantasy fighting game sitting on the floor opposite to the small television, Nishinoya jumped from happiness after a win so fast that he lost his balance because of the console cable enwinding around his ankle. Asahi had to grab him to prevent his fall, but he was still sitting, so it turned out a little strange and Nishinoya have finished half in Asahi's lap. They both looked surprised, but it wasn't awkward anymore. It doesn't mean that Asahi wouldn't want to kiss him, he just learned how to not associate to the restroom where both of them lost their mind. It was just a warm and shy feeling, like there are bubbles somewhere inside him full of happiness which have busted every time when they shared even just a little touch, releasing the feeling.   
\- Be careful – he said with just a light shade of red on his face as the short boy get up.  
\- Sorry Asahi! Did I hurt you? – Maybe there was a little too much nervousness in his voice, but when Asahi squeezed gently his forearm with a little smile telling everything is fine it didn't matter anymore, he calmed down, a big grin appearing in his face.  
Just friends, the older one had to remind himself. 

\- Let's play again!

\------

\- Ayu-chan! It was really awesome! – Nishinoya shouted as a small girl received the ball perfectly. As it come out in the past month Ayu was a first year libero in girl's team, but she never played in the matches because there was a last year girl who was way better than her. She was watching Nishinoya's games even when she was still in high school and adored him and his talent but she was too shy to tell him or ask for help, but fortunately the boy demanded to practice a little together in the moment he found out from Satsuki that she is a volleyball player too. 

Now, the girl was standing before him with red face because of the compliment and a conservative white shirt and black sweat-pants, Mimi braided her blonde hair tightly. She played really differently from Noya, although she had fast reflexes it wasn't really her speed that made her good, it was something more like she saw the ball at the beginning and she already know where it will land and she just went there. It wasn't the perfect tactic and her dig's needed a little practice too, but she was talented and very quiet. Noya could imagine her at the court, she would be a little like Kenma, not outstanding, the opponents would at first even forget about her, and she would just wait at the back and then appear where the team needs her.

They couldn't practice in the gym but now they have some time after classes. He have talked with Asahi and he agreed to meet him an hour later. Mimi had to go home earlier, and Marui left with her, but Satsuki and Haku stayed, observing from the bench near them.   
Although Noya never talked about it, everyone knew about some outsider breaking Kenichi's nose for his honor.   
There were plenty of reasons why they hated the short guy before it, and it just added to it, after all he was short, skinny, bisexual, ... one of the easiest targets on the whole campus. And now there were a few guys who hated him with passion. Haku was worried about him, he didn't wanted to leave him alone, even offered to walk him home, but the second year said that he has somebody to go with already. 

\- Do you want to see something cool? – Nishinoya asked all enthusiastic.  
\- Sure! – The girl replied with a low voice but she was starting to develop courage around her friends.  
Haku watched whit Satsuki's head on his shoulder as a small girl hit the ball exactly where Nishinoya asked it.  
\- ROOOLLING THUUUNDER! – The boy's voice echoed as he jumped after a ball returning it exactly above Ayu's head.  
\- It is still amazing! – The loud cheer didn't come from a first year girl, it was a second year from the volleyball team, Haku recognized him from one of his class.  
He gently dragged Satsuki to wake up, preparing himself to prevent if anything get out of the control.  
-Takeru-san? – Nishinoya asked with a tension in him, he doesn't want a fight when Ayu is near.  
\- Yeah, it's me - the other one smiled self-conscious and everybody calmed down a bit.  
\- You know, we lost and we fall out of the tournament...  
\- I am sorry - the libero replied with no real feelings.  
\- Why I am here is... the most of the third years have left the team, and Kenichi... he ... you know, he can't play for a quite few time, so now it looks like I will be the new captain, and... What I want to say, we talked with other second and first years and I know it is lot to ask after everything that have happened, but we want you back on the team.

Nishinoya was left speechless for once, trying to proceed what he have heard and his feelings about it.  
\- It's alright; you don't have to decide now, just come to a practice when you want!  
\- He will think about it – a long shadow appeared above them from nowhere.  
He tried his best to smile and look friendly while helping out the still shocked Nishinoya, but Asahi's height and muscles just made the volleyball player afraid.   
\- Ok...okay... sorry for bothering – Takeru found the shortest way to disappear.   
\- Are you alright? – Asahi leaned down to his former teammate.  
Nishinoya looked on him misbelieving but then slowly a smile started to come out on his mouth rising into a big grin as he slowly processed everything.  
\- I can play again! – He shouted enthusiastic jumping on his friend.  
Asahi managed to catch him, and then gently placed him back on the ground.  
\- Yeah, I heard... Just don't jump without warning – he answered with a smile but his happiness wasn't really honest.

\- Guys, I think we will leave now – Haku called out to them with a pander smile.   
He remembered the tall guy standing in the bathroom, ready to fight against anyone who could hurt the libero or say anything bad about him, he was already sure back then that it was someone who Nishinoya knew and was close to him, that's why he ran for him back then.  
\- Okay, thank you! – Nishinoya shouted to the couple, while Asahi shyly waved to them.  
\- Nishinoya-senpai, I will leave to – Ayu's voice was wobbly.  
She was getting used to Nishinoya, and he was small just like him, but the big stranger really intimidated her.  
\- As you want, can we play again sometime?   
The girl just nodded as she run behind the others.   
Asahi was happy to see his small friend being with his friends, he even saw from distance how the guy gets up in case he would need protection when the volleyball player showed up.  
\- Your friends are really nice.  
\- Yeah... but Asahi? How do you get here? – They were behind the building where they were supposed to meet, on a little grassland.  
\- You were already late for our meeting, so when I heard someone shouting Rolling Thunder I just had a strong feeling that if I follow it you should be near – a small laugh escaped the spiker's mouth.  
On the way to Nishinoya's home the younger boy was full of energy, nonstop talking about Ayu's volleyball skills or going back to the university team, and although Asahi tried really hard he can't hide that something has bothered him.   
\- What's wrong Asahi? - Nishinoya waited nearly on the full way for him to tell by himself, but now he used up all his patience  
\- Nothing  
\- It's not nothing! Please! - He grabbed Asahi's hand to make his puppy eyes more effective.  
\- I wanted to wait with telling you this, but I think I should tell you now...But with things like they are now I feel quite stupid for even doing anything - Asahi gave up the resistance  
\- I am sure it not stupid – the libero kept gently pushing the other one.  
\- Please, don't be mad for intruding in your life.  
The smaller one slowly realized that he is serious, a smile faded from his face as he waited for his friend to continue.  
\- Oh, so... After you told me everything I ... You know I thought that you were born for volleyball and it would be so stupid if you have to end because some maleficent teammates, so I called couch Ukai, and he talked with Nekomata-sensei, both of them called other couches...  
\- Asahi, the point? – Nishinoya wasn't known for his patience.  
\- Somehow we managed to get to the couch of the Chiba's official team, and convince him since one of their two liberos get injured not so long ago, so he sent a scout on few of the practices when you came, and they said you are a good material and they would be happy if after the registration season you would join them – Asahi was afraid to even look at short boy.  
\- You didn't...  
\- I am so sorry, I know it was not my decision to make for you, and I am sure...- He tried to apologize but looking up at Nishinoya's face the only thing he could see was the biggest grin someone could offer to him.  
\- Asahi, it was my dream! – If he was enthusiastic when they invited him back in the university team than now he was delirious.  
He jumped up on his gentle giant, hugging him tightly.  
\- Thank you! Thank you! – His eyes were full of happy tears, and for now, Asahi didn't put him down, just returned the smile while hugging him back. 

This one moment compensated him for every bad thing that happened to him, his little body can't hold all the happiness he felt, and the fact that he could share it with Asahi made it even better.  
He just wanted to show his gratefulness, just a little kiss on a cheek, nothing provocative nothing too bad, but he needed it. So as he was hanging on the spiker he give in to the temptation as he spread his neck to access the older guy's face, but somehow Asahi managed to choose the exact same moment to place a gentle kiss on Nishinoya's forehead.  
It wasn't really a kiss, their lips barely touched; just enough to Asahi's stubble gently scratch the libero's face. Both of them retracted their movement, looking a little shocked on the other one, but the enthusiasm from the previous moment was too much for Noya, so he just started wildly smiling again busting in a laugh about the awkwardness of the moment, and slowly Asahi joined him.   
The bigger one placed the short on the ground, but the libero caught him once more in a hug, even if this way he was just enough tall to put his hands around the giant's waist.  
Asahi shuffled his hair.  
\- So you are not angry?  
\- Are you kidding? You made my dream come true!  
This worlds and the overwhelming happiness coming from Nishinoya made every panic attack before dialing a couches number and every anxious conversation worth it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N.: Did you know that one of the biggest beer factory in Japan is named Asahi?

Nishinoya looked over Asahi's shoulder; his hair tickled the giant's face.  
\- Asahi! You are amazing! – His voice was full of pure admiration.  
The spiker was cooking them dinner in the small hole, so called Nishinoya's kitchen. Maybe it wasn't too small for the libero, but for Asahi it was difficult to work there even when he was alone, always had to look out to not bang his head in one of the shelves that were ridiculously low, but when Nishinoya was standing behind him he couldn't even turn around without knocking off something. Unfortunately the small guy loved watching him while preparing food, so they had to have an agreement. Nishinoya can observe, but he must sit in the small table next to the sink, under the only shelf in normal height. The libero was now kneeling on the table and leaning through to Asahi in order to see what he was doing, with one hand balancing himself on his back.  
\- Noya, I am literally doing rice with vegetables, we bought the fish in the supermarket.  
\- I know... but it is amazing. I can't do it!  
Nishinoya was a bad cook, there was no doubt about it, and the best proof for it was the huge amount of food boxes as a sad memento for the take-outs and junk food he got himself every day.  
\- Maybe if you would have eaten a little healthier you wouldn't be so small – Asahi smiled as he teased him kindly.  
\- I am not even that small! – The other one protested – I just have a petite character design.  
\- Shorty, give me the salt please – the spiker asked pointing to the shelf above his friend.  
\- No! I am not tall enough! – He acted huffy, but he couldn't suppress his smile.  
Asahi sighted, but he leaned across him. That was a moment, when Nishinoya realized he made a mistake. The other one's chest and neck was suddenly too close to him, he could even smell the little bitter but nice aftershave Asahi used this morning, and he saw the vessel on his neck under the soft skin. The strong arm reached across the air near to his face, so he was able to feel the heat coming from the body as the muscles slightly brushed his face. There was a really big temptation to press his face to the well-built chest and just listen to the heart beating in it.  
The moment was over too fast.  
\- Nishinoya? Are you alright? – Asahi just now realized the strange expression on his former teammate's face – Have I done something wrong?  
\- N-No, I am fi-fine – he stuttered while trying to hide the blush on his face.  
For once he had luck, and a buzzing phone saved him from explaining his strange behavior.  
The older one looked on his mobile.  
\- I forgot to ask! – He yelled with surprise – In Friday Matsuko, you know, the middle-blocker with long black hair from neighborhood team, has a birthday and they want to know if you will come with us to celebrate?  
\- That's tomorrow. You want me to come? – Nishinoya was a bit unsure about his answer. He would love to go and spend a night with the volleyball players and Asahi, but he didn't drink alcohol since the Kenichi thing. There was no telling, how hard it will affect him if he drinks again.  
\- I think at least my evening would be a lot better with you there – Asahi's smile was for just a moment a little confident but then it was more something like hope what the libero could read out from it.  
\- You can count on me! – A big grin appeared on his face.

\-----

Later that night Asahi was cleaning the kitchen in his own home, while Mimi was sitting in the living room with books, trying to catch up with her studies.  
\- Asahi? You will bring your mysterious friend to Matsuko's birthday?  
\- Ohm, I think yes, do you want to go? I could call it off – he asked anxious for being in the way of her amusement.  
\- No, not really, but when do you plan to finally tell him about me? I know, it's hard because I am a part of the Hino story – she didn't even look up from the exercise book in her lap.  
\- If he asks I will tell I think, it just didn't come up – the guy said after a little consideration.  
\- Have you just said that in more than two months he never asked about, I don't know, your life? Where you live? About your friends? Or anything else related to you? – Now she looked on her housemate with true shock.  
\- No, not really...  
\- You don't talk about personal stuffs? – It was a last try make it look a little less selfish from the "friend".  
\- We talked about his, and once I told him about my parent's divorce...  
\- Asahi! That's awful!  
\- No, no, it's fine...  
\- I don't like how it sounds... You lied to me and you kept secrets because of him, he is clearly not interested in your life while you are all head over heels for him, doing everything just to spend time with him, and you told me that you shouldn't fall in love with him! Are you sure it is not him, who takes advantage of the situation?  
\- Please, stop talking about him like this! – It looked like Asahi, first time in all these years, started to lose his temper towards her.  
\- See? You changed because of him. I just don't want you to get hurt! You are my family.  
\- I am sorry, I know... He is just really special, and he is really kind, just hard time...  
\- That's enough! I will introduce you to someone you could actually try to date!  
\- I am not interested - even the thought was ridiculous that he could start to spend time with someone else.  
\- Give it a try; I will invite my friends on Saturday. Anyway it is already time for you to meet them.

\----

Nishinoya came to their usual table for lunch before most of his friends arrived, just Ayu and Haku were there already.  
\- Hi! – He jumped on a free place between them.  
\- You look more energetic than usual – Haku looked at him amused by the huge grin on the short boys face.  
\- I will have a good day – he explained.  
\- A date? Maybe with the tall brunette guy?  
\- No! He is just a friend, but I will go out with him and few other friends, and before it we are going on a volleyball practice to the neighborhood association team.  
\- Nishinoya-senpai, have you decided if you will go back to the university team? – Ayu's thin voice interrupted his loud cheering.  
\- No, not really, but I don't think I will, my friend have set me up a really good offer.  
\- What offer?  
Nishinoya couldn't answer Haku's question, because Mimi have arrived, and nearly exactly at the same moment the furious Satsuki throw her backpack next to her boyfriend.  
\- NAOMI! You didn't come to the class! Again!  
Mimi looked on her with sleepy eyes.  
\- I know I was the one who decided not to go in.  
\- Yeah? And could you tell me why not?  
\- Marui needed me; she called this morning crying so I went to her. Her dog died – she told it like the most natural thing on earth, to skip class for her friends.  
\- It is a really hard part – Satsuki tried one last time.  
\- I am aware of it – she yawned.  
The other girl's eyes widened.  
\- Don't tell me you didn't sleep at night... AGAIN!  
\- I studied..

-Oh, really? And then decided to skip a class?

-You can't say no to friends – she looked on everyone with a small smile – Otherwise, I am organizing a sleepover for Saturday night! Marui already knows and she will come, and I am expecting you too!

\- Whoa, nice change of the subject – Satsuki let her anger disappear – But it sounds good.  
\- And we could finally meet the infamous guy you live with – Haku added while he hugged his finally calm girlfriend.  
\- Yeah! He is a huge softy! Nishinoya, I think you would like him – she winked on the libero.

\----

-Are you ready to go? – Asahi waited in the entrance as the libero got his stuffs for practice.  
\- Just a minute! – He answered while throwing his kneepads in a bag; he just needs to find the elbow pad. It was the one with adjustable size which was the other pair of Asahi's kneepad back in high school, but the spiker said he only needs one and the libero had a great use of it in his elbow, not to mention it was his lucky charm since he got it in his first year.  
He finally found it under his mattress (How on earth did it go there?), so he ran out of his room.  
Asahi was leaning to the wall, his hair in a loose bun. He wore a light orange sweater whit jeans and in his hand he was holding a leather jacket and his sport bag.  
\- We can go now! – Nishinoya stepped in his shoes.  
They walked to the train station, it was a ten minute ride till the gym where their practice was held, and the weather was really nice and sunny, although it was a little cold for spring.

\- This one is ours – Asahi looked on the train arriving.  
\- You are aware that I don't see it, right? – Nishinoya asked a little annoyed from the huge amount of people around them, and he was about the shoulder length for the most of them.  
\- Right, I am sorry. Come, this way – the taller guy grabbed the libero's shoulder and keeping him safe from the crowd lead him to their train.  
On the vehicle wasn't better the situation, it was full of people going home from work. After a bigger bump somebody shoved the shorter boy with their elbowow, who nearly felt.  
\- Come closer – Asahi looked at him worried.  
When Nishinoya have done as it was told to him, the giant reached to the wall with one hand, leaning a little while holding himself steady with the other one, protecting his friend with his body.  
Nishinoya was a little flustered from the closeness and the half hug, but the next bump made him to hold Asahi's sweater in order to not fall. The whole ride they staid like this, Nishinoya was afraid to look up, partly because of the fear that it would be discovered how red his face and ears were and mostly because he could feel his crush's breath on the top of his head and he was afraid of his own reaction if he looked up and their face would be so close, so he just stared on their shoes the whole time.  
\- Nishinoya, we are here – Asahi said gently, but his mouth was so close to the other ones ears that the libero couldn't help himself but jumped a little.  
\- Okay, lead the way – he grinned, still uncomfortable to look on the spiker.  
\- Come – Asahi smiled as he broke the way for both of them.  
Nishinoya's fluster has disappeared as soon as they got in the gym. He just loved the nice atmosphere of it; it made him confident and happy.  
They entered the changing room, few of the other players were already there greeting them loudly.  
Nishinoya was trying really hard not to stare when his friend put off his shirt. He was turned with back to him, but still there were so many things to look at, his strong muscles, the line of his spine between his blade bones, down until it disappeared under the jeans he wore. The libero forced himself to look away, pretending he is searching for something in his bag as the spiker changed to the shorts but he couldn't help himself imagining what he would have been able to see. Let's face it, he already checked out tons of times, even through pants Asahi's amazing back side.  
\- Nishinoya? Are you alright? You look red... - Asahi asked with worry.  
\- There is really hot! – He answered alarmed as he put on his kneepads.  
Hot? Asahi would say that the air was rather chilly, but he left the conversation to end.

The practice went really well, Nishinoya was in his best form, not to mention the joy every time the ball hit his arm.  
They didn't practice together; there was another libero, so he and Nishinoya had their own exercises, while the others were doing spikes and blocks. At the end they were separated into two groups to play against each other. The other libero got the chance to choose team first and he decided to go with Asahi and other five guys.  
Nishinoya was a bit disappointed, he liked to play behind his ace, but on the other hand this way he could receive his awesome spikes.

\- Nishinoya-kun! You were amazing, as always! – Saito Utemaro, a setter with very short black hair cheered after they finished.  
\- You are coming with us tonight, right? – Toma, another spiker with bleached hair joined in, he was a little short for the usual player, but Nishinoya played with Hinata, so the height meant nothing for him.  
\- Yeah, Asahi invited me – he smiled while searching after the mentioned guy.  
He found him in the other side of the gym, talking to Sencho, another setter, one of his best friends, who looked like he was worrying about something, glancing in the way of the libero from Karasuno.  
\- Hurry up, we need to shower and the train will be here soon! – Toma shouted across to them, while he pulled Nishinoya inside the changing room. From now the short guy lost sight from his former teammate till the train ride. He went to the shower later (thanks god, Nishinoya was really not missing to deal with accidental boners before the team, if Asahi would jump in the shower next to him) and in the changing room both of them was occupied by talking to others.  
The ride to the bar where they planned to spend the night was longer than the way to the gym, but the train was nearly empty, and their friends were there too, so Nishinoya didn't have a reason to get closer to Asahi.  
When they arrived, it was actually pretty close to the libero's apartment, Matsuko have ordered a beer for everyone before they even got a chance to sit down.  
\- Would you mind if I sit next to you? – Asahi appeared behind the libero.  
\- If you don't mind! – He grinned happily as they sat on the long bench that had a function as a seat.  
On the other side of the libero Yabe, a loud middle-blocker whit blue hair, sat down, while Sencho got the place next to Asahi.  
The night went really well, a bit loud, but well. The rounds of beers have followed each other while the volleyball players celebrated.  
Asahi was talking with his friend about somebody the setter had crush on, and Nishinoya got involved in a really loud but friendly argument with Toma, who was sitting across the table, and Yabe about which flavor of ice-cream is the best. Noya went for soda flavored of course, Toma was sure there is no better taste than mango and Yabe swore on the world and everything he loved that the best is the strawberry one.  
Nishinoya leaned across the table to hear better Toma's reasons, balancing himself whit his hand on the seat when he accidentally touched something. He glanced down to found out that it was Asahi's hand. He had it next to himself, and he didn't even looked in their way, but he didn't move it away either, so Nishinoya and a few beers in him decided to take this as a challenge and leave his hand there, the side of it just slightly touching Asahi's.

\- So that is why I am right! – Yabe finished.  
Wait! When did he even start to talk? Last time the libero remembered it was Toma who was speaking.  
\- Noya-kun, are you alright? – the middle-blocker asked seeing the short guy's confused face.  
Nishinoya from the side of his eyes saw Asahi glancing on him just for a moment.  
\- Yeah, just spacing out.  
They sat like this for nearly half hour, both of them involved in their own conversation, never even looking on each other, when Nishinoya wanted to test the waters just a little bit. He pressed the side of his hand against his former upperclassman's, and after that he had a hard time not to choke on his beer when he felt a vague movement of the other ones pinky finger fondle a gentle stroke on his hand, and when he finished he simply left it slightly more on the libero's hand than next to it. Nishinoya couldn't believe Asahi did this while he casually continued his conversation about, he thought, work. He just give a small glance to the libero, who was coughing out the beer he managed to get in his lungs, but it was so short the two friends Asahi actually talked to didn't even notice it. So what? Nishinoya wasn't built to lose, even if it wasn't really a competition.

The libero slowly moved his fingers and then the whole hand under Asahi's big one; who even helped him with raising it a little. The shorter boy's skin looked so pale and hand small under the spiker's robust one.  
He gave himself a little time to collect some courage before turning his hand over, so their palms faced each other. The response from Asahi was almost immediate as he enlaced their fingers.  
Nishinoya looked around; everything seemed normal, nobody suspected that hidden between their bodies's there were hands holding into each other. It was just their secret. But even then, Nishinoya was sure his heartbeat overpowered even the loudest conversation in the bar that night. 

It ended too soon as everybody started to getting ready to leave. Asahi had let go the libero's hand without hesitation.  
Everybody was saying their goodbyes, and Nishinoya wanted to step to Matsuko in order to wish him happy birthday once again, but he was too wobbly so Yabe had to balance him.  
\- Noya-kun, can you go home by yourself? – He looked on the drunken libero with concern.  
In excuse to him, he didn't drink for a half year and he had a really small body available to process alcohol.  
\- I will walk him home – Asahi got him, but there was something strange in his speech, like he was having difficulties to move his tongue properly.  
\- Okay, take care! – Yabe smiled on them.  
They launched while saying their last goodbyes. The walk was quiet, and really curly, because of the spinning sensation in Noya's head, and Asahi wasn't enough sober to keep him steady. Somewhere halfway the younger one grabbed a hold of the other's hand without telling anything.  
The way to the apartment ended too fast for both of them.  
\- Asahi! – Nishinoya shouted.  
\- A little quieter, please – he smiled down on the boy.  
\- I want after party! I still have some booze at home! COME IN, PLEASE!  
After party for two people? Maybe it sounded silly... but he would do anything to make this night last longer.  
\- It sounds like a good idea...

IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA. Asahi have realized it when he woke up in the middle of night, all sticky from perspire and god knows what else, from the smell there was a lot of Jagermeister on him too. He was wearing only a shirt, which was unbuttoned on him and his boxers. He started to slowly freak out as he was unable to recall how he ended in Nishinoya's bed like this, with the small libero wearing only a slipped down underwear, cowered with hickeys and love bites, cuddled up to the spiker's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N.: So basically the kneepad – elbowpad thing is half-canon, I wrote it in the story because I have read so much comments on pictures like the one included, and if you watch carefully it is true that Asahi is the only one who is playing with only one knee pad in the whole Haikyuu, and only Nishinoya has an elbow pad ( I know that it is because he is a libero, but still nice to think about it like this)
> 
> https://images.app.goo.gl/3pdR4nYHhWd2rxheA
> 
> Oh, and.... sorry for the ending ^^"


	10. Chapter 10

Asahi was staring at the ceiling of the little room, counting the calm voice that come from the younger boy as he adorably snored next to him. With every sound the sense of guilt only grow in the former ace, as he was thinking about a moment when this innocent and kind person will wake up and realize what he had done to him, how he let himself lost control. 

He knew his limits, and now he was absolutely aware of the fact that he should have gone home right after they left the bar, but Nishinoya... oh fuck, Nishinoya was holding his hand and wanted him to stay, and he looked so cute and pleading... It was just too big of a temptation; he couldn't leave a night like this end. On the other hand, he never planed or wanted those things to happen like they had. He wanted the libero, but he wanted him when he would be sober not just horny and drunk, and in a way that both of them could remember, although like that Nishinoya would never be willing to do anything with someone like him, he was perfect, and Asahi was just... just Asahi, a coward, too small for his big body, someone who won't achieve anything in his life.   
Last night he still had a chance to leave when they were sitting on the floor in the living room, playing "never have I ever...". It was Nishinoya's idea and damn, he was so good in it, he just always knew what to say so Asahi had to drink a shot.

Never have I ever been the Ace of the team!   
Never have I ever had beard ... been the tallest in my class... been accused that I am older than I really am... known how to jump serve...  
\- I should go home – Asahi mumbled when he started to feel dizzy, the alcohol had left a burning sensation in his chest.  
\- NOOO! Please! I need you to stay, I want you to stay! It would make me so happy! I would cry if you leave – the libero begged with the cutest puppy eyes he managed to use.  
His cheeks were slightly red from the booze and there were a strange shine in his eyes, but still, these were the arguments that aimed the older boy's heart. Did he know that Asahi couldn't say no to this?  
\- Fine, I will stay, but just a little...

After this Nishinoya have changed the game a little, the questions escalated slowly into more and more personal ones, he didn't care if he needed to drink to.   
"Never have I ever wanted to kiss the guy who is sitting next to me right now". They both drank. When did Nishinoya sat in his lap? And this was the last memory he could recall.

\- Damn it! – A frustrated word escaped his mouth before he could think about it.  
A small body moved next to him.  
\- Hmm...? – A sleepy, question like sound came from it.  
\- Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up – the spiker apologized.  
The deep, little rusty voice had got to Nishinoya's mind through the half asleep state he was in.  
His eyes popped open as he widely stared on the other guy in his bed, and then around his room.  
\- Why are you here?   
\- I was kind of hoping you could answer it...  
\- Oh my god!   
It couldn't be? Or it could? What had he done with Asahi? He must hate him now!  
Nishinoya breathed heavily as his brain got more and more information looking around the small room, and then his eyes stayed on his ace. He was only in a boxer; a shirt he was wearing under his sweater was creased and didn't cower anything at all. His hair was released on his shoulder, scratches and hickeys on his chest, it had to be admitted he was quite sexy. Oh, how much did he thought about him like this, but in his imagined scenes there wasn't this broken look in his beautiful brown eyes.  
\- We did it! Oh fuck, I can't remember it... It shouldn't have happened, not like this! – he stared on the dirty, and a bit smelly bed sheets in front of him, one hand grabbing, and pulling his own hair as he shook his head uncontrollably.   
There wasn't enough air in the room, his breath become more and more shallow and faster.   
\- Oh my god! Nishinoya, are you in pain? Have I hurt you? – Asahi was worried and afraid, he wanted to comfort him, hug him and tell that everything will be okay, but he was the one who caused it. He might have ruined everything.   
\- No, nothing like this... Why would you hurt me? I just... I don't remember anything! I didn't want it to happen like this! I didn't want to have drunk sex!   
Something in this answer caught the spiker's attention.  
\- And you don't feel anything strange?  
\- A bit of a hangover, and... How on earth I wouldn't feel strange? It is all strange, I fucked up! I ruined everything!  
Asahi looked confused, but then slowly a realization sat out on his face.  
\- You have never been with anyone? With guys?  
\- I was! I was with girls, but you were the first male... - he flushed a little, but the pressure in his chest didn't lessen.  
Asahi have calmed down, just a little as touched Nishinoya's cheek to make him listen.   
\- I am sure I wasn't. Actually I am sure we did something, but we didn't do IT then.  
\- What? You said you don't remember! What else could we actually do?   
Nishinoya couldn't think straight, he messed up everything. He fantasized about those things before, so it wasn't the problem that it happened, there was a problem that he forced the tall guy to drink, drink even more, and probably he was the one taking advantage of the situation, and his first time... He can't remember it! He wanted to know how it felt being loved by someone so amazing and precious as Asahi, how was it when he kissed him because he wanted and not by accident, how his hugs, his kind touches felt all over his body.  
\- Yeah... but you know how it works between two boys, right?... you would feel it if we did it... especially the first....– the spiker looked with a tomato red face down on Noya's body till his flank with a look that told more than any world could.  
Nishinoya followed his look and when he realized what Asahi has talked about his face flame up like never before.  
\- Than we didn't...?  
\- I am sure we haven't. If yoyu feel normal...  
\- And you don't hate me? – Nishinoya started to calm down.  
\- I could never hate you – the gentle giant stroked away the libero's hair from his face.  
\- But I... I... sewed you up!  
Asahi had to suppress a chuckle.  
\- I am enough old to say no, you didn't pour down it on my throat. And please, look at me; you really think you could do anything to me if I don't want it?   
\- But I am a boy....  
\- Yes, I am well aware of it. And quite an eye-catching one.  
\- Thank you – Nishinoya smiled relived while yawning. Now, that the panic have fade away the tiredness have started to take over on him.   
\- I could go sleep somewhere else – Asahi stood up from the bed.  
\- No, it is still night, I don't want you to ramble alone and I don't have a sofa – the little boy grabbed his wrist – Please come back...  
\- You really want it? – He looked surprised.  
More than anything, was the thought in the libero's head but he couldn't say it loud, so just nodded.  
Asahi lied back next to him but keeping the biggest distance he could.  
\- Could we please pretend for just this night, like you love me? I know you don't mean it, but please – Nishinoya busted out getting a little closer to the other one intensely staring in his eyes – For once, just this once, and then I will stop...  
He has already ruined everything, there was no way their friendship could survive this without becoming awkward, in this case he didn't have much to lose.  
Asahi looked completely shocked but after a while he just reached over grabbing the libero and pulling him in a thigh hug.  
He mumbled something into the short guy's hair, Nishinoya wasn't able to understand it, but it sounded a lot like "I won't pretending", but he couldn't said this, right?  
Nishinoya pressed his face against his chest, desperate to get in his memory the most of the details he could, before it will end with the morning.  
He heard Asahi's heart beat a little faster rhythm, he felt the heat coming from his skin, and the small circles he draw with his thumb on the libero's back. His tears appeared without him realizing, it was all just too much, too much to deal with. He had dreamed about it for so long, he wanted this hug for nearly five years, and it was perfect, better than any imagination, but it was just an act, it will disappear in the morning.  
\- Don't cry; it is alright. We didn't do it, I promise, I didn't hurt you – the brunette whispered in his ears, absolutely misunderstanding the tears.  
\- I will miss you – he mumbled into the skin of the ace.  
\- I am not planning to leave you – Asahi give a small kiss on his temple.  
Nishinoya looked up to him with awe; he never thought Asahi could be so good in acting.  
\- Yuu... - the spiker looked deep in his eyes, brushing of a tear from his face – You are beautiful.  
He didn't know who moved first but their lips have united in a kiss. Maybe there was some bad taste because of the drinks, but it was perfect. It was slow and sweet, no need or haste in it, just the two of them trying their limits, testing the waters, calm and gentle. Thigh hugs and touches full of love that have left a gentle tangle on the skin of the libero.  
Nishinoya felt asleep with his head resting on Asahi's chest, while he hugged him with one hand like he never wanted to let him go and with the other one gently smoothing the back of the small boy until the dream come for him too.

When Nishinoya woke up because of the sunlight, he was alone. Not like he was surprised, but it hurt him anyway. The pillow next to him still had a scent of Asahi, but this was the only evidence that he didn't dream the last night. He dug his face in it, fighting against the tears. That is it, that is everything he will ever get from Asahi, just this memory, and hell yeah, he won't let it fade away. How ironic... he fucked up again, drank a little and fucked up, déjà vu...  
His phone have vibrated somewhere next to the bed, so he grabbed it and unlocked.  
Nearly eleven, he never slept this long since he ended with partying.  
There were a lot of messages left from Ryuu.  
20:13  
/ so how is the party? Any nice girls? Or Asahis? 

21:02  
/I will take it as you are busy; message me when you get home

00:56  
/Yuu? Where on earth are you?

01:07  
/Noya?  
/Did you got home?

9:39  
/Drunk night, ha? Hangover? I sense a story

10:49  
/If you won't answer me in 10 minutes I will call the cops.

Nishinoya smiled on his phone; at least Tanaka will always be there for him.  
/ I am sorry, just wake up. It was a crazy night

His friends replied almost immediately.  
/ tell me EVERYTHING!

The tears he fought back till now slowly appeared again.  
/Ryuu... I fucked up, again...

The sound of his own ringtone scared the shit out of him when it started to play some action movie soundtrack he watched a year ago.  
\- Ryuu – he answered the phone whit cracked voice. He needed his best friend and Tanaka knew it very well.   
\- What happened?  
\- Oh, you are awake! – A familiar face looked inside his room.  
Asahi have worn his volleyball shirt and the jeans from the previous day, his hair was wet from the shower he took before, one of Nishinoya's towels around his neck.   
He looked anxious, nervously scratching his neck, but he smiled and he was there, he didn't left for good.  
\- Yuu? I heard Asahi's voice, what's going on?  
\- Ryuu... I will call you back – the libero answered while his gaze was still directed in the ace and let the phone fall to the ground.  
\- YOU ARE HERE! – He shouted as an uncontrollable grin took over his facial expression.  
He nearly fall over his own clothes on the ground as he ran and hugged Asahi, who had to step back a little so he wouldn't fall because of the younger guy's momentum.  
He tapped Nishinoya's head with a gentle smile once he was sure they stood safely.  
\- I thought you're gone ...  
\- Nearly, you slept really deep so I didn't wake you up, but I would write you a note before I leave.  
\- Asahi-san – the short boy looked on him with determination that scared him a little – The last night were a mistake, but I want to repeat it without the drunk part.  
His intense gaze gave shivers to the spiker, but this little confession left a warm feeling in his chest.  
\- I want it too, but... I think there are things we should talk about first – he answered insecure.  
Nishinoya nodded seriously, he could deal with it. It is just a talk, and Asahi said he wants to stay with him too, and kiss and hug. It is already more than he could have ever asked for. He hugged his ace once more, as he touched the libero's cheek. They looked in each other's eyes, deeply, Noya stood up on his tiptoes, and Asahi slowly bent down.  
The intimate moment was destroyed when an alarm went off on the older one's phone.  
\- I have to leave for work! But we should definitely talk about this later – he left the hug in hurry.  
\- Oh, okay... than afternoon? – Nishinoya had to try really hard not to show the disappointment he felt.  
\- Actually... I am doing double shifts on the weekends so I could walk you to and from school – Asahi answered with a slight pink color on his face - After eight?  
\- I promised to one of my friends I will go to her, I think she wants to introduce us to her boyfriend but I can cancel it...   
\- I see, than see you tomorrow – he smiled down on the boy – No need to hurry, I won't go anywhere and I am sure my feelings either.  
\- Maybe we could go to your place - the younger tried while they went to the door, Asahi putting away all his things. Nearly three months left, but he was never in Asahi's house, but the spiker was already comfortable in his home.  
Asahi froze while he was putting on his shoes- Rather not. I like here.  
It was a really strange behavior, but before Nishinoya could ask anything his former teammate was ready to leave.  
He turned back from the door once more, pulling the libero to his chest.  
Nishinoya reached up to his neck and dragged him down for a passionate kiss. Asahi adapted really fast, digging his fingers in the shaggy hair of his crush.  
\- Just don't freak out till we meet, it's my part – he mumbled in the mouth of his guardian deity before leaving for work.

Nishinoya stood opposite to the entrance for long minutes, touching his lips while smiling like crazy and blushing because of the memories. He can't believe it really happened! It felt like somebody forgot a whole butterfly swarm ... no, they were rather birds, crows in his stomach. This was too much happiness for this small body; he had to share it with Tanaka! He run back to his room, and a few minutes after he was already reminisced to him every small detail like a delirious teenage girl.  
Tanaka had known about his obsession of Asahi since their first year, so he was more than happy for his small bro to achieve what looked like something romantic after five years of waiting.

Sometime about five o'clock Nishinoya couldn't wait any longer and texted his former upperclassman.  
/How is your day?

Maybe he will look to clingy, but he didn't care, he missed Asahi and he knew that he won't write him just to chat a little, he was too anxious for it.

/Fine, there are a few costumers. Sencho is with me today (you know, from volleyball). And yours?

So that's why they get along that well, they are co-workers! Nishinoya have realized it just now.

/Good, I am waiting for my pizza to come, and preparing for meeting friends.

/I should have made you something to eat in the morning.   
Nishinoya smiled on his phone, as he read the last message, but then he already got another one from the spiker.  
/You should wear your hair down more often and not in spikes, you were cute in the morning

The libero blushed.  
/Not cute! It is not masculine at all! I am cool!

/Sorry ><  
/I have to go, more costumers. I will write you when I am home.

Nishinoya arrived a little early to Mimi, just Marui-san was there already.  
\- Welcome here – the black haired girl opened the door. Her house was a lot bigger than Nishinoya's apartment and double-decked. Downstairs were a big living room in the same space that the kitchen, only an American style bar was between them, Marui was sitting there with a glass of soda in her hands. Mimi looked like she was in the middle of cooking something with a pink apron on her.  
\- Awesome! So big! – The boy got into raptures over the house.  
\- Yeah, there were three of us living here, but now we are just two – Mimi explained while she switched on the cooker.  
\- And where is your infamous softy with a delinquent look? – Marui asked teasingly.  
The skinny girl looked on the clock on the wall. It was a few minutes after eight.  
\- He will be at home any time – she smiled – I can't wait for you to get to know him! He is the best person on the word!  
\- I will get jealous – the other girl added laughing.  
\- We could eat soon, Noya-san if you want to wash your hand or anything else, the bathroom is upstairs – the host changed the conversation.   
\- Thank you – he smiled.  
He went upstairs on a slim stairs in a look for the mentioned room.  
There were four doors; each one looked exactly the same. He entered the first one, but it was nearly empty, just a small bed without sheets stood in the corner. The next one was somebody's room, nice and clean, whit a bed full of pillows, books on a shelf, a small desk, a cupboard whit pictures on it and a wardrobe. He didn't want to intrude in nobody's life, so he was just about to leave when he spotted a familiar picture between others. It was a photo taken of their Karasuno high school team on the nationals, it was from his second year, he knew it because he had the same one at home. It was from their changing room before the match against Nekoma. Why would Mimi or his boyfriend have this picture? A bad feeling started to form in Nishinoya's chest but he wasn't ready to believe it yet.  
Suddenly he noticed all the details, the same shirt he saw the previous night was in the corner with other familiar clothes, a known sport bag next to the bed, and the last thing that made his heart shatter was another picture, with four people on it. There was an unknown man a little older than them, Sencho and in the middle was Mimi, half hugging a smiling boy with long brown hair, and the most beautiful brown eyes someone could imagine.  
He heard a door open and close downstairs and a voice of a conversation. His phone buzzed, but he already knew what will be in the message he got.  
/Just arrived home, do you have time to talk?  
It can't be... He stared at the picture before him; it can't be that the guy Mimi lived with ... What have she said? Delinquent look, softy, big, looks older than he is, kind,...

Mimi's boyfriend can't be Asahi! Not after this night and morning....


	11. Chapter 11

Asahi knew that Mimi wants to have a sleepover with her friends from the college, so he tried his best to get home before they arrive. He was planning to spend his night locked in his room, watching some film, maybe chat with Noya if he has time, and definitely not meeting some random guy Mimi wants to set up for him, he have already found the only one who he wants to meet. He never thought Nishinoya could feel towards him anything similar that he felt, but this morning gave him hope, and tomorrow he will tell him about Mimi and maybe about Hino too.  
\- I am home! – He called out as soon as he entered their house.  
\- Oh, hey there. You were fast – Mimi appeared in the door with cunning smile, welcoming her housemate with a hug.  
\- Is anybody here already? – The girl's expression told him that probably the guy she picked out for him was somewhere in the house already.  
\- Just Marui and Noya-san. You will see he is adorable, and he plays volleyball, so you two will have a common interest.  
Asahi's word slowed down for a moment just to start spinning again with incredible speed. He was used to blush, he actually believed that half of his blood must be constantly ready to accumulate in his face, but now he was pale and frightened, because they never talked about this part of his life, and he knew what it must seem like for somebody, wgo doesn't know the whole story.  
\- Noya? Nishinoya is here?  
Mimi's sly face turned to surprised and then watching Asahi she started to realize that what she did was an enormous fail.

\- As... Asahi – the libero was standing in the hallway shocked.   
Nishinoya still refused to believe what looks like the only possible solution why would a handsome and perfect guy live together with a pretty and kind girl. What was he thinking? He was weak, and loud, a shrimp, and an absolute childish mess. What was he hoping for? He should have known better already, the perfect people belong together. But still, why would Asahi done something like this, not to him, but to Mimi? She was the best friend anyone could imagine, and she was so trusting and altruist...

\- I have to go – he mumbled and ran out of the house, carrying his shoes in hand, because he couldn't stay there any longer, he can't look at Asahi, or Mimi, who they have betrayed together.  
He was running as fast as he could while the tears started to blur his vision, repeating the same mantra in his mind: Don't cry! Don't cry! Just until home, don't cry!  
Nearly reached the end of the street, a few houses away of the situation that was burned in his memory, when a strong hand grabbed his wrist and he nearly fall back. It was Asahi, he knew it was him, but right now he can't be near him, he needs time to process everything, and he can't think whit his touch on him, reminding him of the shared hugs and kisses.   
He pulled away his hand like ge was burned.  
\- Noya! What happened?   
\- You! You happened! How could you? Mimi-san is so kind, and beautiful! How could you...?  
\- How can I what? – The spiker's voice was vague, full of fear that Nishinoya have translated to himself wrongly as the fear of being caught unfaithful.  
\- You just wanted to experiment or what? You just played with me while cheating on her? She is the best girlfriend anyone could want! – the libero was feeling empty, he still couldn't believe any of this is really happening, so for now he was going for the easiest feeling, the one that still caried enough power for him to carry on, and that was anger. Anger because someone hurt his friend, who definitely didn't deserve this, and anger, because he didn't notice it sooner and he participated in it, and anger against himself because he still wished that it didn't end, he wished he was clueless and happy.  
\- Noya, I promise it is nothing like that! I wasn't experimenting... Mimi and I... - he was desperate but the younger one was hurt, and upset, his feelings were leading his acts, so he didn't let him finish.  
\- You weren't? Then everything you did was out of pity? You just pitied me and that is why... I thought you and me... you just made everything worse!  
Asahi looked like the last words punched him in his guts.  
\- Nishinoya, please... you got it wrong. Just let me explain! - Asahi looked on him pleading, his anxiety definitely evolving as the conversation continued, and Nishinoya had to bite in his mouth to resist his instincts that told him to comfort the trembling giant. It was terrifying how much the older one affected him even in this situation. He needed to leave as soon as he could, before doing something stupid that would make it worse. Their friends appeared behind the spiker; Mimi looked like she was on the edge of crying. Nishinoya had to disappear, he can't take anymore of this.  
\- I don't want explanation! Let me go! - he shouted on Asahi, the only reason he was in Chiba, the only one he couldn't let go after high school, the one he gave anything just for the possibility to seeing him again – I don't want to see you again ever!  
\- Noya!   
There was loud shouting behind him as he ran away with the fastest speed he could.

\---

Now, that he was locked in his own apartment the world shattered around him. He felt disgusted with himself, with every piece of clothe that had Asahi's scent on it and every little part of his soul that was aching to go back. Mimi was always friendly to him, her presence made his day's in the campus bearable, and sometimes even good, she saved him and trusted him, and he did this to her, but still he was heartbroken because of his own feelings.

Nishinoya nearly tore down the sheets on his bed, trying to erase every proof of his miserable mistake. He grabbed his clothes from the previous day and throw them in the trash, looked over and over in his small room, unloading everything that could remind him of Asahi, getting more and more radical, as hopelessly trying to get away from his feelings. He felt insane, and maybe he was a little when he broke a mug he remembered Asahi drinking from, and then he sent flying every pan from his closet to the floor. It still wasn't enough, everything in this damn place was Asahi, he couldn't think about anything else than him cooking, or sitting on the floor playing video games, and hugging him, the kiss before he left,...   
He emptied his sport bag on the floor, and then caught the sight of his elbow-pad. Nishinoya reached for it and already moved to throw it away too, but then something hit him, standing before the trash can, whit the once knee-pad now elbow-pad in his hand, shivering, the ruins of his home around him.   
His hands started to tremble, the anger settled down not leaving anything else than the sadness and almost physical pain in his chest. There is the end, he lost Asahi, and there is nothing he can do anymore. He fell on his knees, embracing the elbow-pad, a memento from the very first months of their friendship.  
He stayed on the floor curled up in a sobbing mess, the tears just didn't want to stop coming, hugging the memory of his feelings as hours passed by.   
When his eyes were sore and red, and his head hurt from crying and dehydration, and they were no more tears, he reached for his mobile. He needed to talk with someone and he already decided what to do next.  
The phone glowed up with cold light in the darkness of the apartment, it burnt Noya's eyes a little, but it just didn't bother him anymore.   
He had tones of messages. Asahi (83), Mimi (16), Haku (3), Marui (7), Tanaka (1)   
The libero opened the last one ignoring the others, he jus wasn't able to deal with them now.  
Tanaka wrote him about some hilarious video he found on the internet, but Nishinoya didn't give himself a time to read it more carefully, just dialed the number.  
\- Noya? – A sleepy voice answered it after few rings - Are you aware of the fact that it is nearly midnight?   
\- Asahi is Mimi's boyfriend - he said it without any prelude.  
\- Asahi is... - Tanaka slowly repeated as he was trying to understand what the libero was saying, and the end of the sentence he shouted in his phone – WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU SURE??  
\- Yeah, sure – Nishinoya's voice was powerless because of the emptiness he felt and hours he spent crying.  
\- Maybe you know they just hook up once or anything. Wait, how did Asahi landed on your friends party? – Tanaka tried really hard to come up with a solution.  
\- They live together, in the same house, just two of them. Mimi and Asahi.   
\- How? Wait! You told me just this morning that he was kissing you!  
\- He was...  
\- THE BASTARD!   
A short pause followed this, but then Tanaka spoke up again with much less volume.  
\- Are you sure this is true? I know I didn't see him for a long time, but he is Asahi, our glass-hearted giant... I would never think he is capable of cheating.   
\- Apparently he is and he decided to practice it on me – hot tears appeared in the libero's eyes again.  
\- I will hire someone to replace me for a few days; I will be there on Monday!  
\- No, no, it's not necessary. I am going home for a week tomorrow morning. I can't stay here, everything is so... Asahi. I can't deal with it right now. I will call mum in the morning, but could you come out for me on the station?   
\- Of course! Just call me twenty minutes before you arrive!

Nishinoya was sitting on the earliest train he could find. It was 7:30 and Sunday, but he knew his mom is probably already up, so he dialed her number.

\- Hello sweetheart – she answered, and he already felt better because of the obvious love in her voice.  
\- Mom? I am going home, okay? – He tried his best, but his voice was still shaky.  
\- Yuu, dear, is everything alright? – He didn't want to worry her, but she was his mom, so she could sense everything about him.  
\- I just want to be home for a little...  
\- Alright, you don't have any exams this week, right? – She was smart enough to not push him to tell about what happened.  
\- No.  
-Then okay, you deserve some rest. I will talk to your dad, and make your favorite for dinner. When will you arrive?  
\- About noon, Ryuu will come for me.  
\- Alright, I will wait for you, I missed you! You didn't come home for nearly two months.  
\- I am sorry... - the guilt settled on his chest a little.  
He wanted to spend as much time with Asahi as much he could, so he neglected his family and Ryuu.  
\- Don't mind, its okay. You are a grown up Yuu, I understand you have a life on your own, just please remember that we will always be there for you if you need us.  
\- Mom? – His eyes started to fill up with tears again – I love you!

He went with Tohoku Shinkansen to Tokyo where he changed trains and continued his way with the Sobu Line. When he stepped off the train Tanaka was already there, waiting for him in a short and a purple T-shirt, although it was still a little cold for this.  
He saw Noya across the crowd, ran there and nearly jumped on him with a bear hug.  
-BRO! I missed you!  
\- Sorry – a small smile appeared on Nishinoya's face as he balanced himself to take the momentum from his friends sprint.  
\- I will buy you tons of Gari Gari-kun ice-cream! – He shuffled the libero's hair laughing.  
\- It is so good to see you - now Nishinoya was already smileing with full face.  
\- You say this just because of the ice-cream!  
\- I am not! – He poke Ryuu between ribs - How is the family?  
The bald guy cringed a little because of the ticklish feeling of the other ones touch, but then changed to a serious face.  
\- Dad is better, looks like he is getting used to the wheelchair, after nearly three years he is finally more active. Even helps out in the kitchen sometimes. Mom is really happy to see it, but I want her to retire and them spend as much time together as they want, so I am thinking about employing someone new – his face suddenly lighted up, and he continued with much more enthusiasm – Man! You don't know yet! Saeko and Ukai-sensei are dating!  
\- No way! Saeko-nee? - Nishinoya was thankful to his friend for distracting him from his own miserable feelings, and after all he was truly interested in his friend's life.


	12. Chapter 12

It was Wednesday already. Until now Noya was trying to spend all his time with his family or Tanaka, once meeting up even with Hinata and Kageyama. The two volleyball dork didn't go to college, instead they joined a professional team together so now Mondays were their day off.  
Nishinoya was seeking distraction really hard in order to stay sane and not breaking down before others, but he failed it just a day before. On Tuesday, Ryuu was cooking for him, because he wanted Noya to taste his new specialty for the restaurant, and he suddenly remembered how Asahi was preparing food for him a few days before, how happy he was then, and he just started crying. He couldn't stop it anymore, the tears just ran down on his cheeks, scaring the shit out of his bro who at first thought that he was doing something wrong or his friend hates the food that much, but even when Noya managed to articulate Asahi's name just enough for his friend to understand he couldn't do anything helpful and it hust frustrated him even more that he is not able to make his best bro feel better.  
It is not like the libero wasn't crying before, he did, one night in his bed, or once under the shower, only when he was alone and he started to think about the past week, but he tried to cover his sadness.  
His mum and dad were acting like they are just happy to see him, didn't push for answers, but he still felt their concerned looks on himself when they thought he wasn't aware of it. Only his little sitter Mei, who had all the stubbornness and energy a nine year old soccer player girl could have in herself said out loud that something is strange and "bad" about him, but their dad talked whit her in private, and next time she met her big brother she was all cuddly, gave him her favorite fluffed animal and told him that she is sorry for bothering him. Mei was the best sister anyone could wish for, full of happiness and admiration, but at the same time she was even more boisterous and sometimes more careless about everything than the libero. She was like her brother, just more. The smallest one in the class, not to mention the soccer club, but if she got serious even her male upperclassmen were intimidated by her intensity.  
Nishinoya still declined every call from his friends from Chiba, but now, he was alone in his room. His parents had to work, and Ryuu couldn't neglect the restaurant anymore, his old friends were away in college or in school, so he decided to read the messages he got, of course not all of them. He just couldn't get himself to open the chat with Asahi, and after Sunday he didn't sent new messages to Noya, not like it would matter, cause the libero didn't even open the tons of previous messages either.  
Most of the texts from his friends were just confused, asked what happened, or why he wasn't in school.  
He left Mimi to the last.  
The first few were just asking him if he is alright, what happened, what was this with Asahi, but then as the time passed the messages got more and more worried, and not just about him but she was concerned about Asahi too.  
Sunday afternoon:  
/please answer me!  
/ Asahi has shut me out completely, this is the first time that he have done something like this.  
/ I want to help both of you, but nobody says me anything!  
/At least answer Asahi! He just had a break down about you ignoring his messages for no reason.  
/ You act really childish! Ayu is worried too.  
Monday:  
/ why you didn't come to eat with us?  
/ Noya! You weren't at any of your classes! Are you aware of the fact that the end of semester is nearly here and we have final exams?  
/Something happened to you? Are you ill?  
/ Please send just one message for anyone to let us know you are alive and well.  
Tuesday:  
/you are not here, again  
/ I called every hospital near to roll out the possibility that you were in an accident  
/ I will call the cops I think if you don't answer soon. We are worried. We were at your house, but you weren't at home or just didn't let us in  
/ you are so damn childish! Would an "I am ok, I will go home for few days" message is too much to ask? The police called your parents they said you are there.  
/ I swear I want to choke you, we were worried!!

This was the last message he got. His parents never told him about anyone calling them, maybe they just wanted to be supportive, as always.  
He didn't really think about it till he read the messages that he just disappeared from Chiba, his friends have every right to be worried and to be angry at him too. He should have thought about them and their feelings. An uncomfortable weight settled in his lower abdomen as the repentance took over his feelings.  
'Why am I so dumb?'  
/ I am sorry!  
He wrote a quick response, and his phone ringed almost immediately.  
'How? Mimi should be in college right now' he thought to himself.  
After thinking a few seconds he took a deep breath and answered. Mimi done nothing wrong and she is his friend, so he needs to apologize for making her worry and for... betraying her.  
\- Nishinoya Yuu! – The girl shouted right after the call started – You are a stupid reckless child! We are your friends; you are supposed to talk to us!  
\- I am sorry, I didn't think it trough – and now he truly regretted his behavior.  
\- It is obvious! You acted irresponsible!  
\- I know...  
A few deep breaths were heard from the other side of the line.  
\- But I'm glad you are okay – her voice suddenly changed from furious to caring and kind.  
Now both of them stayed quiet, they had their questions but none of them knew how to ask them. When the uncomfortable silence get to long Nishinoya decided to change the subject.  
\- Naomi-san... How was the sleep over?  
\- I called it off, obviously – she said it like the boy was dumb for even asking such a thing.  
\- I am so sorry, I ruined it too – Nishinoya nearly whispered.  
\- Too? – Mimi's voice was curious but for now she will let him speak.  
\- I didn't know that you and Asahi... - it was still hard to the boy say out loud so he didn't finish the sentences, hoping Mimi knew how really sorry he was.  
\- No, I am sorry! I didn't expect you two to already know each other... I was even planning on setting you two up – Mimi helped out him with an awkward laugh.  
\- You did what? – This small expression "set you up" confused everything; he didn't know where to put it. Why would anyone want someone to date her boyfriend? Maybe its an open realtionship? Polysexuality? Nishinoya did his research when he discovered that he swinged both ways about sexuality, so he knew quite a lot of versions that it can include setting up somebodies boyfriend with another boy... but he wasn't sure he could do that... but maybe for Asahi? He kinda liked Mimi tho....  
\- I know, it was an awful idea, because even if you are both into males, it doesn't mean that you would automatically be into each other. But you know, you fit with his taste pretty well... You are his ex maybe? It would make sense, some bad and painful break up story would explain both of yours reaction – her tone was understanding and kind, not even a small amount of grudge in it.  
\- Wait... did you just say Asahi is into males and you were trying to set us up? – Everything seemed to muddle that he thought he knew.  
\- Oh yeah, he is as gay as someone could be, if I would appeared in his room naked he would just get embarrassed and ask me politely to dress up – she giggled in phone, but then the recognition hit her- You didn't know?  
\- Than... you are not a couple? – Maybe he was wrong the whole time?  
\- Oh my god, no! It would be like... I don't know... like date my brother, strange.  
\- Then why are you two living together?  
\- It is a really long story, sometime I will tell you, but we never have anything romantic between us. Oh wait, at the beginning I had a little crush on him, have you seen those abs? And all of his body is juts wow, not to mention his kind personality,... but it disappeared even before I moved in whit him – her voice was soft as she talked about his housemate, full of love, like he was her little brother.  
\- Oh. My. God. What have I done... - now it fall on Nishinoya how unbelievably stupid he was, his idiocy ruined everything, and Asahi was innocent the whole time! He fucked up, he really did - I thought he cheated on you with me... I said terrible things...  
\- Wait! – Now was Mimi's time to recognize the situation, her voice changed to more cold, and the anger came back - You were the one who he was meeting for months now?  
\- I think...  
\- And he didn't explained our relationship on Saturday night? – One last chance to Nishinoya to excuse himself.  
\- I didn't really give him a chance.... –wrong answer.  
Mimi was furious, she had a whole picture, it was really just the libero's explosiveness that brought his beloved and precious Asahi in the state he was.  
\- How on earth could you spend so much time with him and know nothing about him? He is Asahi! The one who cried in the end of Legally Blonde! And you thought that he could cheat on anyone? And in these months you never even considered to ask about him and his past? What was he for you, some strange replacement for Kenichi? Because it looks like you know nothing about him, or his glass heart, just ran away assuming the worst about him. You hurt him! He cried for days and shut me out of his room! Yesterday he had his worst panic attack since I know him, because I told him we can't find you, I had to call to his work that he needed a day off. He tried to text you, and he said that you ignored him! Don't tell me that you DID all of this to him because some stupid misunderstanding and your lack of interest for him?  
Nishinoya felt the word spinning around him, his stupidity made him nauseous. He spent all of his time blaming Asahi while he was the innocent one, he should never accuse him with something like this, he was always kind and caring he would never do anything to harm anyone, and that is why Noya loved him. The only one to blame for this situation was himself.  
\- I am the most terrible person on the world... I should have let him explain.  
\- Yeah, you should have! You were selfish and dumb!  
\- I know, I will talk to Asahi - he answered regretful.  
\- Yeah, you should – the anger started to disappear from her voice once again, she sounded just tired now, really tired – But Noya, be prepared that he is angry and he has every reason for it.  
\- Yeah, thanks for warning.  
\- And Noya, I am angry at you and I think you are an idiot, but you are still my friend, just for the record – she added before they hung up.  
\- I'm a moron – Nishinoya banged his head in the wall next to him.  
His forehead got a little red, and he felt dizzy but it wasn't enough to suppress the self-hate and blame that started to bloom inside him just now – So fucking reckless, selfish, dumb idiot!  
He made Asahi suffer for no reason, if he would only trust him a little more or let him finish a single sentence, then maybe, just maybe he would be in his embrace right now. His bad temper and doubt ruined everything, he hurt everyone around him. Why? Because he didn't even consider that Asahi could really like him. All of that seemed so obvious, he felt like it would explain everything and he didn't deserve happiness.

Nishinoya reached once more for his phone, unlocking it with trembling hands. He opened his chat with Asahi, scrolling back to the beginning of unread messages.  
/Just arrived home, do you have time to talk?  
This one was sent before that event, the libero remembered it. Everything started whit this message and a picture of Mimi hugging Asahi.  
/Noya! Please you got it wrong  
/We are just housemates whit Mimi  
/I wanted to talk with you about her tomorrow  
/I am sorry, it is my fault I should tell you about her  
/I just...  
/I wanted to tell you the whole story  
/I was afraid you would think I am a fool  
/Nishinoya, please answer  
/I don't care what you answer just don't leave me like this  
/Look I promise we never have anything romantic whit her  
/Mimi was in fact one of the best friends of my ex boyfriend  
/ She was in a really bad situation and we let her live whit us  
/The thing with Hino, well... it didn't end well. It ended really awful  
/Mimi had a hard time too, so she stayed whit me after  
/See? Nothing romantic  
/I swear I never touched her the way I touched you, and I never felt anything like I feel when you are around  
/Noya, please...  
/Noya, I am sorry!  
/I would never harm you  
/Please!  
/ I like you so much  
/I can't lose you because of something like this  
/Just read the messages  
/could you just read them?  
The other ones were just pledging him to read it, answer or forgive. Nishinoya could picture the crying and desperate Asahi too well, and it made his guilt even worse, he cried whit him as he read the messages clearly showing how his heart broke and the younger boy sobbed knowing that he was the cause. The messages got less and less frequent and more distant as the time passed.  
They ended at Sunday about noon, but one last came few hours after.  
/ I am so sorry it ended like this; I hoped I meant enough for you to not shut me out like this. Good bye Nishinoya.

The libero entered the small family restaurant shivering and pale.  
\- Yuu! – A smiling woman in her fifties gave him a warm hug.  
She was taller than him, with long black-silver hair in a perfect bun, wrinkles from smiling all across her face but she was full of energy and flower pattern all across her clothes.  
\- Tanaka-san – Nishinoya smiled on her half-heartedly.  
\- You are not around for some time and you forgot to call me by my given name – she acted huffy but the smile on her face told otherwise.  
\- I am sorry Eiko-san – he apologized.  
\- Looking for Ryuu? He is in the kitchen; want me to tell him you are here? He will have a break in an hour, you can wait in his room – she still smiled but her mother instincts told her that how upset is the short boy is right now.  
\- Thank you Eiko-san – he bowed a little and then went upstairs.

Nishinoya didn't know how long he was lying in his friend's bed, pressing both hands on his eyes thinking about all the mistakes he made.  
\- Bro! I didn't expect you! – Tanaka entered the room rubbing his hands in a white apron.  
\- Ryuu! – Nishinoya whined – I was wrong!  
He told him everything he found out today, at the end grabbing the bald guy's hand.  
\- I need you to be whit me when I call him! I am afraid of his reaction, and I am afraid of my own.  
\- Oh well, yeah, of course. If you think it will help... - he was confused, but if this is what his little friend needs than it is okay.  
The libero slowly typed the number but then he just couldn't get himself to press the call button.  
\- Last time we fought after the match against Dateko he avoided me for six weeks, when I was insecure we lost touch for three years... I can't even imagine what it will be now, when I am insecure and we fought.  
Tanaka hit him on his head, and Nishinoya just stared in him trying to understand why he got the punishment.  
\- Then nothing happens. You have an amazing family, like wow, your mom and dad are the best people on the world, with the most adorable little girl admiring you like you're some kind of god, and you will always have me and Saeko, and you have friends in Chiba too! Asahi is just a man, he might be a special one, but you're not the first one whose heart got broken. Everyone got over it, so yeah, you will be sad and frightened and you will think the life is pointless, but then you will heal, and smile and enjoy like you used to! Don't be a wimp!  
He looked on his tiny friend, the tears running down on the libero's face.  
\- Eh? Why are you crying already?  
\- I am so proud of you! You really got wiser! –Nishinoya was an ugly crier, tears, running nose, lot of redness and strange voices, unfortunately it didn't changed when he wasn't doing it because of sadness – My bro grow up!  
\- YUU! Stop it! You will make me cry too! – His friend has thrown a pack of tissues on him.

-.Asahi-san... - Nishinoya mumbled in the phone once they calmed down and he gathered enough courage to call.  
\- What do you want? – His former upperclassman responded cutting short his speech.  
\- I want to talk with you...  
\- Now? And where you have been in the past five days? I don't want to talk with you anymore – the spiker's voice was cold, and Tanaka had to hold himself back to not shout into the phone.  
\- Please, I just... - the libero still tried.  
\- You what?  
\- Let me explain!  
\- Explain? Like you let me do it?  
\- Asahi please! I know that for the most part, I was, in fact, an idiot. But I fully admit to it, which should count for something!  
\- Count for what? You just decided to erase me from your life, and now you decide you want me back, so I should jump to you? – Asahi's seemingly cold voice cracked, letting the other two hear the pain inside him – Noya, I can't be you friend. I tried, but I can't, and now it is clear for me that we didn't mean the same for each other, so please, just let me forget you - He hung up the phone.

Those days were one of the worst in Tanaka's life. It remembered him of the time when his father had the accident, how depressed he was and the boy was desperate to help but he couldn't do anything. The similar feeling was this whit Nishinoya. He knew about him and his crush on Asahi since he witnessed him broke down after their fight when they lost against Dateko, but back then it was just a teenage crush, innocent and harmless. The libero was more persistent than the others, it is true, and he always claimed that it wasn't just a fleeting emotion, but damn it, Tanaka was certain that it was the same than he felt for Kiyoko Shimizu. Who thought, that it will cause this much problem even after nearly four years that Asahi graduated.  
If Tanaka wanted to be honest, it really seemed to him that it was his friends fault, but now the blaming won't help anyway and he was there to make the libero feel better.  
He didn't have much experience in heartbreak, since Kiyoko he didn't have any serious interest, he haven't got to know many new girls to choose from nor he had time for dating. He did have a few one night stands but the girl's weren't interesting enough to keep in touch or they thought that Tanaka is too intense, loud, or childish. So no experience at all, but he tried his best so he was making programs for Noya and himself every free time he managed to get, they were going to karaoke bars, game centers, they were meeting with Ukai-kun and Saeko-nee, Ennoshita (who were studying to become a policeman, but now he had some free day's), Hinata and Kageyama after their practices (those were their last ones because a stronger team bought them as a pair, so after the registration time which will start in two weeks they won't be in the town as much as now).  
Nishinoya looked like he was enjoying it, he was even louder and acted more confident than before, but Tanaka was his best friend so he could see the little details everyone missed, like how the smile fade away from the libero's face as soon as someone else was in the middle of attention and he thought no one is looking at him.

Mimi finally got Asahi to tell her everything, but it didn't get easier to comfort the gentle giant. She couldn't even mock the one who hurt him, because both of them knew that he is an amazing person, although it was a really bad mistake and you can't be angry at somebody because they don't feel the same thing that other one felt for him.

She was with her housemate already when the thing with Hino happened, but he was an asshole, who just wanted to hurt Asahi because of his own insecurity so back than it was more like anger, not the tears and the sadness like now.  
She can't see the spiker in this state, it hurt her too, causev he was the closer she will ever have to a family, and she could thank him for her life more than one occasion in every possible meaning, so no, she won't let him sink into his own depression.  
At first they didn't like each other, but back then, in the hospital, Asahi was the one who held her hand and helped her through the tragedy of her life, and she just wanted to repay some of his kindness.  
Mimi and Sencho tried to get Asahi out of the house going to a small party, but it was a disaster, he acted antisocial and a little mean, and left the party at first occasion he got, so the girl decided that she needs help, not any help, but she needs the most special heavy armored force with years of training how to deal with this glass heart.  
The phone ringed for a relatively long time when finally a kind, angel-like voice answered.  
\- Naomi! I didn't talk with you since the double birthday party on New Year's Eve! I miss you!  
-I miss you too, and now I need your and Daichi's help, Suga!


	13. Chapter 13

The girl's skin was sweaty as she pressed herself against him. The flashing lights and the loud music made his head dizzy, it took over his mind, and that was exactly what he needed now.  
The rhythm dominated in his thoughts, his heartbeat matched the music very easily erasing all the sadness inside him. He needed distraction and that was exactly what the party and the person before him could offer.  
A hot breath and a scent of violet deodorant have reached him as the blonde girl leaned even closer; her lips nearly touched his ears.  
\- Follow me, handsome – she said just as loud as it should be for him to hear it and then pressed a quick kiss on his face, enough close to his lips that he could get the meaning behind her words.

\------

Mimi spent her Saturday night just as the most of them, sitting in the couch, rolled up in a blanket and reading while a bowl of chocolate cookies rested in her lap, when the phone started to ring next to her.  
She was perfectly aware that it wasn't her, but when she saw the caller's name on the screen she couldn't resist to pick it up.  
\- Asahi-san – a sobbing voice of a small libero sounded too excited– You answered! I just want to tell you I miss you!  
\- Noya, my dear, it's me, Asahi is in the shower – her heart was aching for her two friends, both of them deserved the best, but they just kept hurting each other.   
The disappointed 'Oh' from the other side made her regret answering the call and giving him hope.  
\- Yo Asahi, please forget this! – a stranger's voice shouted on the other side of the line unexpectedly. It was a strong voice of a man, but somehow not as deep as for example Asahi's.  
She heard a sound of arguing in the background.   
'Ryuu give it back!'  
' I will give it back to you when you sober up!'   
\- What is going on? – Mimi asked suspiciously– Who are you?   
-Tanaka Ryuunosuke - a proud voice from earlier answered, while the fighting seemed to end - And you are probably Asahi's pretty housemate. Yuu told me about you.  
\- I prefer to be called Naomi – she rolled her eyes to the obvious flirting tone of the boy.  
\- Even your name means "straight beautiful" – his voice sounded like he was surprised that something like this could even happen.  
\- Thanks for letting me know, I nearly forgot that I can speak Japanese – she won't fall for something as obvious as this flirt, and this wasn't even the first time she heard it. Not to mention she had enough bad experience from smooth boys for all of her life.  
\- No need to be so witty – he sounded a little hurt.  
\- No need to be so cheesy – Mimi answered little kinder.  
\- I think I like you – there was amazement in his voice, and it was so out of the place right now that the girl couldn't fully hide her giggle.  
\- Whatever – she acted annoyed - What is going on with Noya-san?  
\- Sincerely? – Tanaka's voice changed into a more serious and a little amount of worry sneaked in it - I don't know. I thought he is finally over Asahi, you know, he was all energetic, buggering around for days, met everyone he could, and today we went on a party, he was chatting with this really nice girl, and they disappeared for a while, but then I found the girl all upset and she said when the thing was starting to get serious Yuu break down crying and left her there. So I went to found him and there he was calling Asahi.  
\- I see... I don't know what we should do with them...  
\- Yeah, I hope they get over it soon. I don't know what I could tell him, I never had this kind of problems...  
\- You must be lucky then, Tanaka-san!  
\- Oy, you are talking to Tanaka? – a laugh come from her back – I didn't speak to him for ages!   
\- Is that Sugawara's voice I heard? – a confused boy on the other end asked whit excitement.  
\- I shouldn't be surprised you two knew each other...

\-----

-Look Asahi, you need to find something you enjoy doing! Get your life together! – Daichi scolded him – You probably should have tried college.  
They were sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for Mimi and Suga to return.  
\- Says the one, who left college after only a year – Asahi heard this argument so many times this weekend that he didn't even felt himself intimidated by it anymore.  
\- Yeah, but I found what I want to do and I left college to learn from one of the bests.  
\- Daichi, please... You told it a few thousand times that you will be a volleyball couch and the senior Ukai-sensei are mentoring you – the guy with the goatee answered recklessly and he was already sorry for it, when he saw the former captain's scary look.  
\- You can just complain about your boring life, but I already got an offer for job in one of the middle schools in Karasuno.  
-Wait Daichi! – it was a new information and it was enough to trigger Asahi – You will leave Suga and move home from Tokyo? He is your housemate since high school!  
\- Of course not! – the black haired boy answered whit amusement – Suga is in his last year now, only few months are until his graduation, and he will become a middle school teacher, he applied for his internship in the same place I will be couching.  
\- I am not even surprised anymore – Asahi sighted – Please remind me, why you two don't date each other?  
\- It is because – Daichi give him a disapproving look – I just break up whit Michimiya after three years, oh, and we are into girls.  
\- Are you sure? You are acting and look like a couple – the brunette glanced in the way where the silver haired guy and his housemate were arguing about which coffee they should choose, probably they would agree on the most sweet one.  
\- It's just because you are in your little pink gay bubble, so you can't see straight in this situation – now there was Daichi's turn for teasing.  
\- That is exactly what I am saying! – Asahi jumped on the opportunity – I really can't see straight looking at you! I see gay!  
This comment earned a hit on his head by his former captain.  
\- Goofball!   
\- Daichi, you are insulting Asahi again! You know he has a soul of a little baby! – Suga joined them while giving their black coffee for the waiting boys.  
\- Exactly! We need to defend his precious innocence! – Mimi joined into the teasing while she brought the .... Something coffee-like but more similar to pure sugar and whipped cream the setter and she ordered.  
\- I don't know if I should be thankful or offended... - he mumbled.  
\- Just kidding – the girl gave a little kiss on Asahi's cheek just to make sure he won't be angry.  
\- By the way, did you have a nice talk whit Nishinoya yesterday?   
The other three have fell quiet at the same time, looking anywhere just not at the brunette.  
\- You really thought that I won't notice haveing a half hour talk with him in my call diary?   
\- Look Asahi, he is or he was our friend too, but if you want we can act like we don't know him... - Suga sounded a little ashamed that they talked to the boy behind the spiker's back.  
\- No, that wouldn't be fair – Asahi sighted shyly, trying to look as small as he can – Just don't mention me and don't talk about our things...  
\- Straighten up! – Daichi hit him in the back.  
\- If he could, than we wouldn't talk about Noya right now – Suga giggled - But don't worry, he only said one sentence before Tanaka got his phone, and we practically talked only with him.

\---

The excitement in Nishinoya's stomach grew bigger as he entered the changing room. This will be his first match with his new team. He was practicing with them for months, but until now the older libero was playing on matches. Today was only a friendly game, so the couch decided to try him out, since the other libero was the oldest in the team with his 39 years, already considering to retire. This will be probably his last season, what opens up quite an opportunity for Nishinoya if he shows himself worthy.   
His new teammates were already in there, most of them were adults and lots of them taller than 2 meters, so Nishinoya really looked like a child next to them.  
\- Hey, our little pixie has arrived! Soo cute, like a little younger brother – the man in the jersey "2" pointed at him – He is our lucky charm! I wanna keep him!  
He played as the opposite in their team, since he was ambidextrous and could hit the ball with his both hands equally good, not to mention his tall and muscular physique and the toothy smile he always had on his face. He was the tallest (thanks to his European ancestors) but the same time the second youngest,(after Nishinoya) only 23 years. He was the ACE in every way that counted in volleyball.  
\- Stop teasing, Peter! – Akiyo Fujio, the captain and an outside-spiker lectured the guy with the short brunette hair, but then he turned to Nishinoya giving him his jersey – Here, you will be number 5.  
He started to change next to Peter, while the other thirteen boys continued their conversations.  
Nishinoya smiled to himself as he overheard Peter's and another relatively young, 26 year old middle-blockers friendly argument about who is hotter.  
\- Let's ask Noya! – Uchima came up whit the idea.  
\- Yeah, he sure has more valuable opinion! – the foreign boy agreed slyly.  
The short boy dropped his knee-pad and simultaneously all the blood left his face.   
\- How? How do you know? – he asked, his voice wobbly from fear.   
Who told them about his orientation? They will kick him out too? He didn't really start in this team, it couldn't be already over!   
\- This is a professional team Noya – the captain joined their conversation – Of course we have done our research why you left the university team. But no need to freak out, we are not children, I am too old for this bullshit, you are just a few years older than my son. No one cares about your sexuality until you don't act creepy. The only important thing is that you defend our back properly!   
Nishinoya nodded thankfully, already feeling more at ease.  
\- Hey, you can still decide between us! – Peter shuffled his hair.  
\- Eh, rather not - he answered with disgusted look, but then smiled on them to make up for his tease..

\- HEY! Asahi! – a familiar, but for long time not heard voice made the bearded guy to blench.  
\- Who is he? – Mimi asked curiously standing on his side, looking on a bald guy making his way in the crowd to them.   
\- Tanaka – he sighted anxiously.  
\- Really? I kind of imagined him like this – she smiled and tapped her housmates shoulder to make him keep going.  
This wasn't good. Asahi was only there because Mimi insisted that he could come even if he didn't wanted Noya to know, she made their college friends swear that they wouldn't tell him, and the tall boy of course wanted to be there and see the libero's first match.   
It was May already, and they didn't talk since their phone call. Nishinoya started his third year, so he didn't have to worry anymore about Kenichi and his friends, so Asahi had no reason to show up and walk him to class. He was still angry on the younger one, but he felt guilty for being too rude, and he was regretting all of it, but it was too late, the damage was done, and he couldn't just erase it (not like he would have courage for it).  
Neither Mimi nor Asahi counted on Tanaka showing up. He was like Noya's family, and he will definitely tell him that Asahi was there.  
\- I didn't except you here! – the bald boy finally arrived to them whit a sly smile and frightening expression – You are scouting after my dear Yuu?  
\- NO – Asahi couldn't help himself but straightened up, all blood leaving his face.  
\- Yo, Asahi-san! Don't be so scared, just kidding – the other one hit him in the back.  
\- Loud – Mimi sighted.  
Now the boy she complained about realized that she is also there.  
\- Wow, Naomi-san, I guess – he looked on her, a stupid smile already spreading on his face.  
\- Looks like we have a winner – she rolled her eyes, but it couldn't stop the boy.  
\- Yuu was right. You are so fine, I wish I could plant you, and grow a whole field of you!  
-Eww... You are like this by yourself or you are searching for these phrases on internet?   
\- Tanaka-san, please, don't bother Mimi – Asahi tried his best to protect the girl, but only a shy request left his mouth.  
\- But Asahi-san! She is a goddess! How could you live whit her and not appreciate her beauty?   
The questioning look on the other two's face made him stop the buggering, yeah, maybe that wasn't the best conversation in this situation, knowing that what happened between Yuu and Asahi was mostly because Nishinoya thought the same question.  
\- I am sorry – he added more seriously – Otherwise, Noya knows that you are here?   
\- No, and I would be happy if it stays this way.  
\- Come on guys! Haku, Satsuki and Ayu are waiting for us in the sector B – Mimi ended the awkward conversation. 

Nishinoya wiped down the small drops of perspire from his forehead. It was the fourth set, their team has won 2 sets already, and they just needed this one. Yosai, their setter has rotated to the serve just now, and that meant Peter is in the first row again.   
They were in their strongest formation with the captain, Uchima and the ace at the net, while the other spiker, but the best receiver beside the libero, Sawao was helping Noya to defend the floor. The killer serve only added for their good position. In this rotation they could win.   
21:17 for them.  
The whistle signed and the setter hit the serve. The team opposite to them received with some difficulty, but somehow they managed to toss for the spiker.  
Nishinoya calmly observed the player. He was running in acute angle beside the net. Cross spike.  
Uchima and Peter are covering the side of the court whit their block. Cross spike.  
Sawao moved behind the block, he will get it if this will be a faint.  
The libero moved a few seconds before the players hand touched the ball.  
\- MINE! Chance ball – he shouted and then got a clear receive that got right above the setters head, the joy spread across his chest watching the ball fly in the perfect curve.  
\- Nice! - Sawao shouted to him, while the ball went up and Peter scored a point.  
22:17  
\- Damn it, Fujio! – The other team's spiker said laughingly to Chiba's captain - Where did you get a libero this tiny, transferred from middle school? I am afraid to hit the ball with my full strength, I could accidentally kill him.   
\- That is a really bad excusal, my friend – he gave him a victorious smile – You just want to keep your pride.  
\- Damn man, he is good – the opponent said while they prepared for serve receive.  
\- Hey, Shrimpy! – Peter turned back to their youngest teammate and winked on him – they talk about you, be proud!   
The next serve flew across the air, the other libero received it, the ball went to the setter perfectly. It will be a quick. Uchima have jumped in block.  
\- One touch!   
The ball flew too high, and moved too far in the court.  
Nishinoya started to move, but then stopped as his teammate run in the picture.  
\- MINE! – Sawao managed to dig under the ball – Sorry, short.  
\- Yosai, cover!   
The ball went up from the setter and flied in the way of the captain. The opponents made a block before him, but the ball hit their hands and then fall outside the court.   
\- NICE KILL, FUJIO!   
23:17   
\- One more nice serve!   
They got the ball, and attacked. It was an easy receive, Uchima hit the ball, but they had it under control.  
The other team's hitter made a faint to avoid the block.  
Nishinoya won't get it, he was too much behind them.  
Yosai jumped under, the ball bounced off of his hand in a beautiful curve.  
The teammates exchanged a quick glance. Who will take over the setter's place?  
\- GOT IT! – the libero jumped behind the three meters line while the three first row players moved to hit.   
The toss went up, a little too high; this was the kind of ball Asahi used to spike, but Peter... He was better whit lower balls closer to the net. Nishinoya needs to get used to giving those kind of tosses.   
Peter smashed the ball whit his left hand, and it bounced off the players hand, who was supposed to get it, in the wrong way.   
24:17  
\- NOYA!! – a familiar voice from the cheering crowd get to the libero's ears.  
He glanced in the way, expecting to find Ryuu. He was there, shouting. His college friends stood beside him, all cheering for him.   
Nishinoya's concentration fell apart as he saw the brown haired tall man for a moment behind his friends. Could it be Asahi? Why would he be there?   
Is it really him? He can't quite got the sight of the man, but he might be... And if he is... why would he come on Noya's match?   
\- NISHINOYA! – a loud shout beside him returned his attention to the court. The serve has been already hit, and the opponents have finished their three touches, and now the ball was flying with high speed in Nishinoya's way, but it will land a meter before him, or more.  
The libero jumped after it, but it was more out of the panic, so he landed funny on his elbow, the floor left a bruise and a burning feeling on it, but it didn't matter, the ball was up, and Peter could hit it.  
But the block had a really good timing this time, and the ball returned to their part of the court. Nishinoya should have been there! He tried to dig again, but it wasn't enough, he was a few centimeters away when the ball hit the floor.  
24:18  
\- Don't mind! – Yosai patted Peter's shoulder.  
\- Pixie, concentrate on the game – the ace said with serious voice.  
\- I am sorry...  
\- No need to, probably you couldn't get that ball anyway. But if you do things like that you will get injured – the captain scolded him with a father-like voice.  
The other team had a serve this time. Sawao got it, Yosai tossed to the captain. The other team had a one-touch, chance ball, their ace hit the ball right on our setter. It bounced up, but too high and in the wrong way.   
'I need to save this! I need to compensate my mistake' the thought crossed the shortest player's mind and he was already running, he left the court; he jumped across the bench where their couch was sitting (he, and the other peoples there were out of the way already). Nishinoya saw the ball coming closer and closer to the floor. He used his last energy to jump, and even he was surprised when he managed to get his fist under the ball. It bounced off of him, the libero rolled further because of the momentum, until the ringside stopped him.  
It wasn't enough to get the ball back on the court, but it went up, giving time and opportunity to Peter, who was running right behind him but stopped before the couch-bench. He got it and sent it back to the net, where Uchima finished the match whit a glorious spike.  
The cheer from the crowd filled up the air.   
\- NISHINOYA! – the couch and the captain approached him at the same time, the anger and worry radiated from them.   
\- What have I told you about recklessness just a minute before? We would win even if we lose this point!  
\- Did you injure yourself? You don't need to kill yourself for one point in a FRIENDLY GAME.  
Nishinoya jumped on his feet, he will definitely have a few purple spots on his hip and legs, maybe even on the back, but he was alright.  
\- PIXIE! – Peter run to him, followed by the rest of the team.  
\- Amazing!  
\- Insidious!   
\- Phenomenal!   
\- SO COOL!   
Before Nishinoya could have noticed what happened around him, the team-hug disappeared, and suddenly he was raised above their teammates, or at least at their eye level. Peter was holding him under his armpits.  
\- Nice save, Pixie! – He shouted while lifting him up – How does it feel to be tall?   
Nishinoya laughed with them, he felt pride and happiness as the team-spirit reached to him. It never felt like this in the college.  
But it felt like this in high school. The memory gave him bittersweet taste while it reminded him of maybe-Asahi between the spectators.   
He looked up in the way he saw his friends. In the crowd he couldn't see it clearly, but he might have seen familiar silhouette between the peoples headed to the exit.  
\- I have to catch someone! – he responded absently when his leg touched the floor again and ran out of the gym.  
Where could he be?   
The thought of seeing Asahi again was enough for his heart to beat faster.   
He saw a brown hair and a familiar shirt just for a moment turning behind a wall, so he ran faster to catch him.   
\- Asahi! – he shouted desperately.  
A lot of people turned around, but none of them was him. The familiar shirt was on somebody else.  
\- No, no, no... - Nishinoya shook his head.   
He was stupid, why would he come? He made it clear that he wants nothing from the libero anymore. Why would he come to his match? It was only a false hope...  
\- Hey, the tiny libero! Why aren't you in the changing room? – a taller, little obese man stood behind him, a strange smile on his lips. His hair was oily, and he looked slyly on Nishinoya from behind his glasses.   
\- I was just looking for my friend – he told him, while making a few steps away, until his back bumped to the wall.  
\- You know, there are rumors about you.  
Nishinoya didn't know why was he afraid, there were bunch of other people around him who would help if he needed.  
\- Really? – a nervous laugh escaped his mouth.  
\- Yeah – the smile got wilder on his lips – I saw you're good at receiving balls. Wanna receive some tonight?  
\- Uhm... - the short boy started to get the clue what kind of rumors could have the man heard.   
He should just shout, or make some noise and he would escape this situation, but the aura coming from the adult was intimidating.  
\- Leave now, or I will make you.  
The obese man turned around to face the well-built muscular guy behind him, whose eyes were full of threat.  
\- Sorry, I thought he is single – the man left in a hurry.  
The two who remained there just looked on each other, without words, trying to find something they could say to each other.  
\- Thank you – Nishinoya started whit trembling voice.  
\- Go and find your teammates – Asahi sighted, ready for leaving.  
\- Why do you come here? – Nishinoya finally found his words.  
\- You shouted my name – the taller one turned around.  
-I didn't mean it like this! – the libero reached out to grab him, but the former ace was faster, he get a hold on the short boys wrist, turning it slightly to take a look on his elbow.  
\- You should wear your elbow-pad. If you don't want the one you got from me, then buy a new one.  
Asahi's voice was caring but cold and distant at the same time.  
And he left. He left before Nishinoya could react, before he could have told him that he is sorry for everything, that he never wanted to hurt him, and he was an idiot, the biggest idiot on the whole word, and he loves him, still loves him. After months... no, after years since high school!   
But he left. He didn't even look back on him, maybe if he would, than he could see the desperation in the libero's eyes, and Noya could have seen the tears forming in Asahi's.   
He knew he fucked up, he was too strict, and most likely he had hurt Noya, so he would be a fool to count on his forgiveness. It was a mistake that he had come, what have he thought? That the boy will forgive him and jump in his arms if he sees that he have come to one of his matches? Few thousand people have come!   
\- Pixie! There you are! You just ran away, everyone is waiting for you in the changing room, even the sport-doc! She said she wants to take a look on you after your last action – the ace from Nishinoya's new team appeared between them.  
Asahi took one last glance on the libero as he smiled on his teammate.  
\- I am sorry Peter, coming right away!   
Nishinoya seemed happy on the court, and it looked like he gets on well with the others, especially this Peter.

Tanaka and Noya's other friends were waiting for him before the gym.  
\- Hey, little buddy! You were amazing! – Tanaka jumped on him.  
\- Thanks, man! – He smiled on him, but he wanted to talk with someone else first – Mimi, I met Asahi in there...  
\- You did? – Everyone seemed uncomfortable around them – How did it go?  
\- Cold.  
That was the only word that came into his mind after this conversation.   
\- Don't be hard on him, he had a really bad experience from his past...   
\- What experience?   
He was quite curious, maybe he could found out something that could help him understand this situation and then he could make it better.  
\- I am a shitty housemate, but I feel like you deserve the explanation why he reacted as he did... Shit, I don't know what am I supposed to do! – Mimi burst out.   
\- Tell me! Please! – Nishinoya felt like this is the only chance he could understand Asahi's past.  
\- Okay... Everyone, you go ahead in the restaurant we wanted to go to celebrate, please show the way to Tanaka. We will go after you in no time – she gave out the instructions.  
When the others left the scene, she still just stood there uncomfortable.  
\- Ohm, what if we go and sit on a bench? It is a quite long story...  
\- As you want – Nishinoya perfectly get the seriousness of these moments so he just followed her to the nearby park where they sat down.  
\- So?   
\- You already know the most of it; I will just give you more details, okay? And I might cry between, so just ignore the tears.  
After a few minutes while she thought through what should be in the story, she begin.  
\- So, a few years ago when Asahi moved here he started to date one of my best friends, Hino. That is how I met him, and at first we didn't like each other very much, but still... Everyone thought they had a perfect relationship. Nobody take it seriously how Hino treated him. He was extremely jealous, for example he didn't let Asahi shower with the team after the practice, and he would say rude thing about Sencho and other male friends Asahi had. But you know, he was so small considering Asahi's size so no one thought about how vulnerable our giant is. After a while Hino insisted that he must come out to his parents, although everyone knew how homophobic his father was. Hino threatened him that he would break up, so Asahi did it. There was a big drama, and Asahi had to found a house for his own. His father wanted to completely disown him, but his mother still thought for him as her son, so they divorced, and his father left for good. I think Asahi still blames himself for destroying his parent's marriage.   
Soon after this his mother went back to help his brother in Sendai, so he was left there alone. Sometime around these things my boyfriend broke up whit me, right after I found out that I am pregnant – her eyes got blurry from the tears – My parents wanted me to abort, I had a good life, I was already accepted to the college, but still I didn't want to do the procedure... So I ran away. I wanted the kid, and I loved him... I am sorry – she added while brushing of the tears from her face -Asahi, and Hino lived together back then and they let me move in. I was there only for a few weeks when they had a big fight. I was really dizzy, and my stomach hurt all day, so I don't quite remember everything, but it was something about Asahi talking in his dreams. The important thing is that they fought, and Hino left, and I lost consciousness in the bathroom.   
Asahi found me, he called the ambulance, and he called Hino too, but he didn't answer. I had nobody else, so Asahi came with me. I had an ectopic pregnancy; I nearly died from blood lost and had several surgeries... I left my family and boyfriend for the baby, but I lost him to.  
Asahi was there for me in the whole time, he hold my hand when I fell apart or had a mental breakdown, he slept next to my bed just so he could calm me when I wake up crying.   
After few days I could go home, but I lost a lot of weight, I couldn't sleep, my heartbeat was really fast and I was dizzy. Everybody thought it was because of the blood loss and depression, but Asahi insisted that I should see a doctor. They found out I had a disposition to the overactive thyroid even before, and a traumatic event could trigger it, so after the... death of my baby... I developed some thyroid problems too... I got medicine, and I am mostly okay now, but it is not the point. Hino came back after few days, and it looked like he has changed. Asahi was into him again, and it looked perfect. A few weeks passed by, they had a very romantic date, and Asahi was in heavens from happiness, he stayed up with me when I couldn't sleep and talk about it. He really liked Hino, he couldn't see his flaws.   
Next day he got message, asking him to come to the house of one of his friends, where Hino was spending his time a lot. I went with him, because it was a really good weather and it supposed to be a nice walk, it was a really happy moment for both of us. And then we entered. They were right there, in the living room, naked,... You can imagine the other things. Hino wasn't even surprised! He planned it, he wanted Asahi to see it, he wanted to hurt him.   
\- What happened next? – Nishinoya was biting his lips in anger. He could kill Hino, although he doesn't even know him! He hated him! And he hated himself too, because he cried out his every little problem to Asahi, while he never even asked him about his, and Asahi had to deal with all of this shit inside, while Noya knew nothing!  
\- Asahi left, I brought Hino's stuff to him and we changed the locks. It was a really dark week for both of us, I was still depressed, and Asahi gave up everything for Hino, he gave up his friends, his family, and got this in exchange. After a week Suga and Daichi come to us, they practically lived here for a few weeks in their summer break, and it helped a lot. They were like angels, they were better than the therapy. Sugawara's kindness and softness, and Daichi's encouragement is the best pairing.  
What I wanted to say is that although I know you didn't meant it, and you are a good guy... What you did was a similar to the ones from Hino, just without any bad intention. You made Asahi care, and be tied on you emotionally, and when he was finally happy again, you hurt him because of a small misunderstanding that he have no influence on.   
\- I... I didn't want to... - Nishinoya's voice break.  
\- I know, you are a good guy – she hugged him tightly – But please, don't hurt Asahi anymore just because you are unsure of your feelings. He means everything to me, I want him to be happy...  
They sat there for a while to calm down before joining the others in the restaurant, but neither one of the two had a real smile on their face this night.


	14. Chapter 14

\- I swear if you leave this house I will hunt you down!   
Asahi froze whit his hand on the door handle. He was sure he didn't make any noise so there was no reason for it how his friend could catch him.  
\- How did you...?  
Daichi didn't let him finish the question.  
\- The party starts in an hour, I was sure you will chicken out and try to escape. Now get your shit together and do something to actually look like you are a decent human being.  
Asahi was afraid of his friend when he got angry since he knew him, but now the situation was even scarier than the former captain.  
It was 13th June, and that means Suga's twenty-second birthday. Bad enough, he wanted to celebrate it in Karasuno, so Asahi and Mimi had to travel here (the memories got Asahi all sentimental and turned him in an emotional mess), but Daichi had to organize a birthday party, where he invited every, that means EVERY single teammate from high school. Including Nishinoya. Asahi couldn't even leave the party early, because since his family wasn't in the town anymore he was staying in Daichi and Suga's little house. It had only a relatively big living room from where you can get to a kitchen through a corridor, a small bathroom without a lock, and two rooms, one for Daichi and one for Suga, but right now they were both sleeping in Suga's, so Mimi and Asahi could stay in the other room. No place to hide from a furious libero.  
They didn't meet since Nishinoya's volleyball game, and even that was nearly a month ago. There is no way the party like this was a good idea with both of them there and the feelings the spiker still couldn't get under control.  
\- Daichi, please... - he tried to pledge, but the volleyball couch wasn't softhearted enough for this.  
\- Asahi! It is Suga's birthday. You know, the one person who always helped you when you needed? So don't be so ungrateful and act like a grown up man for once and deal whit your emotions.  
\- I will try – Asahi mumbled to himself defeated.  
He didn't want to met Noya again, it will just hurt, but Suga didn't deserve a coward friend who would miss his birthday for selfish reasons.  
So he gave up and went back to his room like a scolded puppy, where he found his housemate lying on their bed with a manga. She went through some changes in the past month. She wasn't that scary skinny, still slim, but she looked healthier. She cut her hair to shorter than shoulder length and Satsuki dyed few of her locks to blue, which matched her pale skin perfectly.   
\- Nervous? – She smiled when noticed him entering.  
\- Little... - he looked away ashamed as he corrected himself – A lot.   
\- I understand, but hey, just try to avoid him. Tanaka and I will help you – she and the libero's best friend talked quite lot after the game, but it was mostly Tanaka who send her some crazy pick up line nearly every day and Mimi just shake it off with some sarcastic answer, but it looked like it amused her too.  
Mimi jumped off the bed.  
– And now we will make a handsome god out of you for the party. Where is the mirror?   
The man looked on her whit disbelief and a little even intimidated.  
\- Have you looked at me lately? I'm a mess. I don't need a mirror to know it.  
The girl had to admit to herself that it was true, but she wouldn't say it out loud, and it was nothing irreparable. Yeah, Asahi was a little unshaven and ruffled, but those weren't his best days so she didn't blame him.  
\- Just shave yourself, shower, I will choose your clothes until you are done and then I will do something with your hair.  
\- What hairdo would bring out the wave of insecurity in my eyes? – Asahi played whit his locks as he imitated the girls he saw in the television, all hyped up about their hairs. He didn't though anyone would react like this in real life.  
The black haired girl dropped the shirt she had in her hands, even forgot to breath for a few seconds.  
\- Asahi? Did you just sass me? – Mimi asked whit serious voice.  
\- Ugh... Maybe – Asahi was back in his anxious self really quickly, regretting to be so disrespectful to her, while she only wanted to help   
\- Oh my god, Asahi, you are evolving! – She laughed out – I never thought you are capable to be saucy!

\- We need to leave this house, we are already late – Tanaka nudged his friend who checked his hair exactly six times in the last half hour, not to mention that he was already in his fourth outfit. Now, when the bald boy was already outside the door, waiting for him, he was just standing frozen and gazed on the floor.  
\- Yuu? Are you alright? – he had an uneasy feeling looking at his little bro.  
Nishinoya's behavior was back to normal for months now, he hooked up with quite a lot of girls, everything was just before the Asahi thing.   
He was a little anxious only when they found out from Mimi that she and her housemate will be on the party where they promised to attend before. Noya nearly called it off, but Ennoshita, Tsukishima, Kiyoko and Yachi will be there too, who they didn't see for months, and it will be good to meet the them and the other previous members of Karasuno team too, although they met them more frequently.

At the end Tanaka managed to convince his best friend to go on the party by threatening him to tell Daichi, who definitely wouldn't be happy if they skip Suga's birthday.  
The former captain and vice-captain came back to Karasuno this spring right after the silver haired boy graduated, so they had started to spend time together again. They grow close especially with Tanaka who was in the town all the time. They eat at his restaurant every Wednesday night, what the younger boy called teasingly their date night.   
\- I can't – Nishinoya shouted suddenly and ran back in his house.  
\- Wait, what?   
The short boy was already off the scene, and his best friend could only hear a door being slammed, probably the one to the libero's room.  
Tanaka ran after him, throwing down his shoes in hurry.  
\- Ryuu! – A short woman with stylish brown pixie hair got in his way.  
She was hardly coming up to his shoulders but she had even worse intimidating gaze than her son, so she usually got everyone to do what she wanted without too much trouble.  
Ryuu had known her for years, she and his mother were best friends in middle school, and after they reunited when the Nishinoyas moved to Karasuno they raised their children together, just like as they were sisters.  
\- Auntie, I have to ... - he tried to gesticulate in the way of the boy's room hoping that Nishinoya's mum understood.  
Was he too pushy? Have he missed the signs that his BEST FRIEND is still suffering because of the damn giant? What on earth did Noya liked so much about him?  
\- Ryuu calm down. You are hyperventilating – she touched his shoulder calmingly - Go sit in the kitchen, help Mei with her homework while I talk to my son.  
\- But... I... This might be something...   
\- It is alright, darling – she smiled on him.   
Nishinoya Rin loved her family unconditionally. She got pregnant with Yuu right after she started her carrier as a vet, something she dreamed about for her whole life, but left it without second though to make sure her firstborn got everything. She was the most understanding and loving person Ryuu had ever known, if they have done something stupid they always told her first, and she helped them resolve or tell to the other adults. Not to mention that she was really cool.  
Ryuu never really understood why Yuu didn't tell his mum about his bisexuality or the bullying he experienced in his second year of college, but it was his choice so he couldn't tell her either.   
\- I got him – her smile was the same feeling Ryuu felt around his own mother, a smile that make him believe that she can accomplish everything.

Nishinoya was sitting in his bed, his head resting on his knees, staring without blinking on his trembling hands. He hated it. He hated how his body reacted, he hated the happiness in his chest what he felt knowing that he will be able to see Asahi again. He hated the fear because he knew that there won't be anything happy in meeting him. He hated the empty feeling because he knew that he could have been replaced in the months that passed since he meant anything to him... Or not replaced, because he didn't even had a place, he was nothing on the long run, just some selfish jerk that hurt Asahi. He knew all of this, but still couldn't control his own feelings.   
And the most frightening about tonight was the thought of his ace looking on him with hate, which he could feel absolutely rightfully after the thing he had done to him. Nishinoya was afraid of this since Mimi told him the whole story. He hated himself for being so egocentric.  
\- Yuu, darling – his mum entered, closing the door behind her. It meant a serious talk, the libero already knew it.   
She had done it just really few times, like when he got suspended or when his grandma died.   
\- Yeah mum? – He tried his best to smile.   
\- What is it? – She sat next to him on the bed.  
His mum was the most supportive woman on the world, but he didn't want to bother her with his problems, and he didn't talked to his family about stuff like this. Like being into guys stuffs.   
\- Nothing, really...  
\- It is because Azumane-san will be there? – She brushed away her son's hair from his eyes.   
Nishinoya hadn't done his hair in the normal spiked form, instead it was all around his face in smooth waves, and he tried his best to convince himself it has nothing to do whit Asahi and that the spiker said he liked it this way.  
\- No! – His mother just continued to stare at him with knowing smile until he broke – Maybe... I will kill Ryuu – the boy growled to himself.  
\- He didn't say anything – she smoothed his back gently.  
The shock run through Nishinoya's small body, his eyes were wide, terrified. He NEVER told at home that maybe he is into boys too. His muscles strained under his mother's hand.   
\- How...? – A small whimper escaped his mouth.  
\- How I know? Darling, I am not an idiot, you were really obvious – her smile was so warm and kind.  
\- Since when do you know? – The libero just couldn't believe yet that it is really alright and she knew it. Last time he came out the whole college started to hate him.  
\- Honey, we got suspicious first when we went on one of your games in your first year and in the middle of warming up you started to shout on your opponents that "our ace is more gorgeous than yours" and "he doesn't need to warm up because he is already hot". Poor thing looked like he was going into cardiac arrest...  
Yeah, Nishinoya remembered that day. Asahi nearly collapsed from embarrassment, Ennoshita slapped his head from behind to make him shut up, the captain, Hiroki Kurokawa, made him do extra running after the match, and Daichi didn't let him unsupervised before any match for a whole year. If he thinks back at it, everyone who was a captain while he played in high school has disciplined him for that.  
\- It was actually Ryuu who dared me to do it... - a small flush colored his cheeks pink.  
\- Yeah, we thought so because he laughed like a maniac in the whole time – she giggled while thinking back - but then you got suspended and the only explanation you gave us was that you didn't wanted Azumane-san to blame himself.  
The boy already felt ashamed, realizing that he wasn't nearly as discreet as he though, and his mother only begun, it started to make the blood rush to his face.  
\- You wanted to become pro-player since you were five, and then suddenly you decided to quit volleyball for him. Thank god he went back. Practically you lived in his house saying that you are practicing serves and libero tossing for weeks. Not to mention when you suddenly came home from a New Year's party absolutely sure you want to go to university in Chiba, and we couldn't talk you down. We went to talk whit your couch, I thought there was a team you wanted to join, and Ukai-san told us that Azumane-san moved there. You need any more reasons I have guessed you may like him?  
\- It sounds really clingy and obvious when you put it like this – he could felt the blush spread down on his neck. Looking back he acted ridiculously, but when everything he could think about was Asahi's calming presence it all seemed really normal.  
\- But mom... He is a boy... - he couldn't look on her, afraid of what might she think. They never talked about homosexuality at home, so he didn't know what to expect. That was the main reason he kept his crush on Asahi a secret.  
\- I think he is more a man than a boy – she hugged her son – but I know, and I don't care.  
Nishinoya couldn't hold back anymore, he nuzzled himself into his mother's warm embrace. This was the first in a really long time that he didn't felt guilty for not telling her something this important and that he felt fully accepted, no lies between them.  
He told her the most of the things that happened between them in the past half year (he left out the bullying and the 'getting drunk and nearly getting laid because of it' parts). She listened carefully while smoothing his back.  
\- I think you should go anyway. I mean to the party. Go and enjoy yourself, and if anything goes wrong just call me, I will go for you and kick Azumane's ass for making my little boy sad– she smiled on him refreshingly, and he felt some relief already.  
\- Mum! You are acting like Ryuu!  
\- I am sure Ryuu would help me – she laughed while ruffling the libero's hair – Otherwise you should show him how happy you are without him, make this man jealous! I was doing the same in college, it is the best revenge!  
-Mum!!

They were more than an hour late, so when Tanaka and Nishinoya entered everybody was already there.  
The short boy spotted Asahi almost immediately, he was attracting Nishinoya's eyes like a magnet.   
He was standing in the small group of people with Suga, Daichi, Mimi, Ushijima (why was he there?) and some other guys Nishinoya didn't recognize. He wore simple jeans, not too skinny but not baggy either, a white T-shirt that brought out every single muscle on his chest (making everyone's mouth water who was even slightly interested in men), with a black unbuttoned shirt, and to finish the look, a leather necklace hung around his muscular neck. He was freshly shaven, the long hair let down, only the top of it caught in a little tail on the back of his head. He looked better than any time before, and the shy blush on his face only made him more gorgeous.  
\- No way – Sugawara shook his head while looking on the former ace.  
\- I swear he said it! HE WAS SASSY! – Mimi announced loudly.  
\- I am so proud of you – Daichi patted the bearded guy's shoulder.  
Nishinoya felt a push between his ribs.  
\- Yuu! You are staring – Tanaka followed his look to the group – Don't mind... I am staring too...  
\- Get yourself together – the slap on their head made both friends tear away their eyes from the group.  
\- Chikara! – Nishinoya shouted out loudly when recognizing his friend.  
\- You two never change. Do you even know her name before started to gaze at her? – His eyes were skeptical.  
Nishinoya gave him a sly smile; he doesn't need to know that the libero was checking out somebody else.  
\- Of course, we are in the same college.  
\- Damn it, Yuu! – Tanaka finally recovered from his shock – Have you two seen her? She is so pretty I want to ad myself to her to-do list! I mean she was more than fine even before, but this hair! It makes me crazy!  
Nishinoya glanced on the girl. She was wearing a simple white dress, and he saw her hair already in Chiba, so it didn't got his attention enough to stop his eyes from wandering back to Asahi, who looked up because of the noise coming from the door, and caught the libero staring. The spiker turned away immediately, telling something to his housemate.  
Mimi looked up, what caught the attention from everyone in the group, and now they were headed across the living room to the newly arrived boys.  
\- Hi! I was already thinking you won't come – Suga smiled on them – But I am happy you are there!  
They said happy birthday, and give him the bottles of drinks they bought for him.  
\- Why I am not surprised that you two are late again? – Daichi joined in the conversation.  
\- They were late every single time for morning practices – Ennoshita sighted behind them – And they have ruined the first years too!  
\- Believe me, I know your struggle – the former team captains laughed, but Nishinoya couldn't concentrate on them, because Asahi was there, standing just a few steps away looking on him, and that was enough for his hands to start shaking, and his voice to completely leave him. He knew that he is just imagining it, but he would swear that he felt the heat from Asahi's body radiating so intensively that he needed to gasp for air.  
\- How you doing'? – The tall guy looked at him with unreadable expression.  
\- Fine – "I miss you"he added in his mind, while he forced out a grin, hoping it is convincing, "you look handsome" - Better than ever. And you?   
The libero wanted to slap himself for this answer, but it was too late, the words have been spoken.  
\- Fine – Asahi nodded with cold smile – I am happy you are okay.  
After this he walked away, leaving Nishinoya behind, who needed to dig his nails in his palm in order to stop himself before reaching after him. He really thought he is over him, but this little encounter made him realize that no matter what, he can screw as many girls as he want, this long brown hair and perfect face will always be in his mind.   
Mimi smiled on them apologizing and left after her housemate, Daichi following them.

\- Asahi, where are you going? – the girl caught his wrist when they turned behind a corner of the corridor that lead to the kitchen.  
\- Somewhere where he can't see me – Asahi said breathlessly.  
Now she could clearly see the tears in his eyes.  
\- It is harder than I thought – he sobbed – He is over it, and I feel myself like a fool that it still hurts.  
Mimi hugged him tightly.  
\- It's okay, you've done well – Daichi comforted him too – You were strong, and brave.  
\- Come on, we can still ignore him and have a good evening – the girl smiled while brushing away his tears.

Nishinoya felt his lips tremble, but he shook his head to clear it, looking back at Sugawara as soon as the three people disappeared behind a corner.  
\- Why is Ushijima here? – Tanaka asked to change the subject.  
\- We got to know each other better in Tokyo – he smiled with relief that they didn't need to talk about Asahi.  
\- Senpai! – Hinata ran to them, Tsukishima and Kageyama following him.  
Nishinoya knew that after Yamagucchi moved to Europe in the middle of their third year Tsukishima become really good friend with them, but it was still strange to see them like this.  
\- We should totally play volleyball now that everyone is home – the orange haired boy's smile was infectious.  
\- Yeah, I am in – Tanaka shouted with enthusiasm.  
Nishinoya wasn't able to stop himself so he automatically looked on Asahi as soon as he noticed him returning to the living room, but the guy was talking with Shimizu already.  
\- Sorry, but I can't play anymore. I didn't touch the ball for nearly four years now – Sugawara apologized – But I would go to watch happily.  
\- Natsu could be the other setter – Kageyama jumped in witht slight blush on his face.  
\- Could you be more obvious? Just confess to her – Tsukishima looked on him emotionless.  
\- I don't like her like that! She is a child! – The setter backed off immediately.  
\- Natsu-san is just four years younger – the blonde guy replied in provocative voice, but then added in more friendly tone – And she looks on you like that.  
\- Natsu? – The libero asked confused.  
\- My sister. She just started high school this year, but Kageyama was mentoring her for years. She is the best junior girl setter in the prefecture; she was invited to Shiratorizawa! – Hinata explained proudly – I could do the god-like spikes whit her, and it is really weird. She is all swish and whoa!   
\- You are swaggering with your sister all the time – Tsukishima rolled his eyes.  
\- I am not!   
\- Tsukki, don't be mean to Shoyou! – A girl with long blonde hair walked to them and Hinata automatically reached out to hold her in a half embrace.  
\- Yachi? – Nishinoya couldn't believe to his eyes.   
Last time he saw her she was a little girl, and now she looked like a young woman. Her hair was longer, and she had natural make-up on herself. If Noya remembered correctly, she just started her second year in college, on her way to become graphic designer.   
\- Noya-senpai, Tanaka-senpai– she smiled on them happily – Nice to see you!   
\- Wow! Hinata, you are a lucky guy! – Tanaka sighted while the short middle-blocker pecked the girls cheek.  
\- I know.

Nishinoya acted happy, always laughing a little too laud and for little too long, just to make Asahi think he is happy and okay, his face hurt from too much grinning, but it wasn't enough.  
He was too much aware where the spiker was or what he was doing for the whole night, and now he couldn't even act like he didn't notice him anymore.  
Asahi was talking with this short, black haired guy for nearly an hour now, and he looked like he enjoyed himself.  
Although Mimi was with them all the time, Nishinoya was furious.   
\- Nishinoya Yuu, is everything alright? – Ushijima asked with dubious look.   
\- Sorry, just got a little distracted. What did you say? – Nishinoya forced a smile.  
\- I was asking about your team.  
\- Yeah, they are great. We have an ambidextrous and strong ace, it helps a lot – he realized that he is a little absent from the conversation, but maybe Ushijima didn't notice it.  
\- That sounds great, he must be really talented. It is Peter Soh? The one who plays as the sub opposite in the national team?  
\- Yes, it is him! Peter is amazing! And what about you? Where are you playing? – he saw Asahi glance in their way, so he smiled even more brightly and touched the former Shiratorizawa captain's forearm.  
\- I don't play anymore. I had an injury and my shoulder won't let me continue the hard practice – his face was emotionless as always, although he looked just sightly surprised because of the touch, but he didn't say anything.  
\- That is awful! – volleyball meant everything (nearly) for the libero, he would lose his mind if he couldn't play anymore.  
\- That's okay. I have a small farm now near here.

Nishinoya bite his lips, while watching as behind Ushijima the shrimp (he was still taller than Noya) matched their arms with Asahi and went crazy about how strong the spiker is, and how much thicker his arms are from muscles. Why have it bothered him anyway?  
\- Yuu! This is the third plastic cup you tore apart – Tanaka whispered in his ears, but he was too involved in the situation that was happening in the opposite part of the small living room to even consider replying.  
The black haired guy glanced in their way and said something to Asahi. He have turned around with dark look in his eyes, but then looked back on the other boy with smile on his face.  
\- Excuse us – Tanaka said to Ushijima feeling really uncomfortable in the situation. Of course he was aware why his bro acted so strange.  
\- I am going to bathroom! – Nishinoya stood up with little too much momentum, causing his chair to fall back with loud voice.  
\- Are you alright? Should we go home? – Tanaka asked with low voice.  
\- Yeah, I just need a little time alone. So... Bathroom – he forced a smile and then left.

Asahi watched from the corner of his eyes as the little libero entered the restroom nearly running. Is he okay? He haven't paid attention to how much drinks Nishinoya had, could it be that he is sick? Why Tanaka didn't go with him? Asahi felt his gaze the whole night, which made him anxious, angry and just a little happy in the same time.  
\- Will come back in a minute, have to go to the bathroom – the spiker smiled shyly, leaving Eiko-san and Mimi to their conversation.  
Maybe Nishinoya is over him, but he is not over the small libero, so if he needs help, Asahi will help no matter what.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: I am a huge Enotana, Daisuga, Kiyoyachi etc. shiper too, but i think if everyone would be gay in this story it would be strange because of the homophobia written in the previous chapters (so it is not an all gay universum)  
Yeah, and my other otp is... Ushijima and a farm. Sorry, I ship them too much i had to include it.


	15. Chapter 15

Asahi knocked on the bathroom door. There is no way he would risk walking in when there is a chance for THINGS being uncovered.  
\- Just a minute – a familiar voice came in response, and maybe this would have been enough for him to leave Nishinoya alone, but a quiet sob that came right after made him rethink his actions.   
The door opened with a creak, and suddenly Asahi was crowded in the small bathroom with the only person he was trying desperately to avoid.  
Nishinoya was facing the small mirror, leaning on the sink, his head turned down. Asahi didn't seee his face ebcause the unusually natural, hanging locks of hair hid it away.  
The libero noticed Asahi entering; even felt his shadow spread across him in the waning yellow light.  
\- What do you want? – He won't turn around; he couldn't let Asahi to see that he was crying. Not now, when he put so much effort in pretending he is happy and sorrowless.  
\- Look, I know it is not the ideal situation, but for Suga's sake you could at least try to act normal, like you don't want to murder me. You are putting us in a really uncomfortable situation – Asahi answered calmly, but there was some unfamiliar distance in his voice that had an effect on Nishinoya as if he was kicked in his gut.  
He was gripping the sink with such a force that his knuckles turned to white.  
Maybe he wasn't pretending that good like he thought.  
\- I don't do anything else than trying to act normal...  
\- You are gazing.  
It wasn't a question, Asahi have said it, just like he would tell what he had for breakfast, but even now his voice... His voice... Why was this polite worry in his voice? Like if Nishinoya was some stranger who he witnessed to fell on the street.  
\- Believe me, I am trying to not look at you! – The anger bubbled up like lava in the short guy – Do you think I enjoyed watching you flirt? I really thought that I could manage this night, but you are here! Like this! And you are relaxed, and you are smiling and enjoying yourself, and... you look better than ever! Believe me, I don't want to look at you, but I can't forget everything just like you did with me! I am really sorry if my misery was distracting you from enjoying your fucking night!  
At the end he was nearly shouting, and somewhere inside, a little, unimportant part of him was happy for the music outside that have suppressed his voice.  
The change on Asahi's face was obvious, and when he finally spoke up the restrained mettle was evident, triggering a cold shiver from Nishinoya's body.  
\- Why I am not surprised anymore? It looks like if you have drank enough alcohol then miraculously I become really important, enough for you to get jealous of a straight guy who was hitting on Mimi. Shame that you forget my existence as fast as you sober up...  
\- Are you kidding with me? – Nishinoya turned around to face the ace, more upset than he could remember to ever be on anyone. Asahi have gone too far – I am not drunk! And I definitely wasn't drunk for a whole year when I was studying multiple times more and wrangle with my parents, so I could go in Chiba for college, just so I had a chance to see you again! I fucked up, okay? I know it too well! But you have no fucking right to say that you wasn't important to me!   
\- I just came because I thought you're sick, but you are clearly not, so I will go now – Asahi replied with dark expression, turning around to leave.  
No matter what, Noya was still faster than him, and he wasn't in a mood to think about what he was doing, so before he could notice himself moving he stood between Asahi and the exit, shutting the slightly open door to close with his full force.  
\- Hell NO! You are not going anywhere until you listen to me! The whole damn situation was because I know that you deserve better, that you are too strong, too kind, too handsome,... simply too good for a shrimp fagot like me, and Mimi, she... She matched you, it looked so natural, the whole situation...  
Nishinoya had to stop in the middle of his monologue, an irk knot was forming in his throat and an aching hollowness in his chest, the type that made him to want to scratch out with his bare hands if it would help the unwelcomed desire that had numbed him. But now, he will tell everything, because most likely he will never have a chance to talk to Asahi again, and he had to know, he had to know everything.   
\- I am very, very sorry! Really... I never wanted to hurt you, but it was so painful to see, to think, that you was just playing around with me, I just wanted to escape. I don't expect you to understand, but please forgive me. I am an idiot, and I am sorry for ruining your night, I promise I will go home and never bother you again, but you had to know, that I am not a bad person, I was just afraid. Please, don't hate me... - now he was just ranting, unable to look at Asahi.  
He didn't want to see the stupid distance on his face; he wanted to remember him like he was when he waited for him at the mornings, ruffled, sleepy and comforting, or when they prepared dinner together in small, heated kitchen.   
The sudden movement in his way still startled him, but when the strong arms embraced his body, pulling him so close to the muscular chest that he felt the warm skin across the shirt on his cheeks, the word stopped for him. For few seconds he was just standing there, but then his arms automatically returned the hug, his eyes shut, just enjoying the wanted touch on his skin while his breathing slowed down to normal. He didn't have a clue what happened, but he will gain every little drop of happiness from these moments before it ends.   
His slim fingers get a hold of Asahi's white t-shirt, pulling him closer for a kiss. The spiker resisted for a little, just enough for Nishinoya to panic, that he ruined it again, but then Asahi leaned down and pressed his lips against his. Nishinoya's mouth slightly opened and a surprised voice escaped it, but it died away on Asahi's lips. It wasn't a big, passionate kiss, just tight hugs and lips pressed together with strength of emotions stifled for months.   
Asahi was the one, who leaned back first.  
\- I am sorry, are you sure...? – He couldn't finish his question, because Nishinoya wasn't ready to let him go just yet, pulling him back into series of kisses again.  
Asahi tasted like chocolate and menthol candy, his breath was hot against Nishinoya's lips and cheeks, his body a little sweaty from the party, but still perfect. In this moment everything seemed perfect for Nishinoya.   
Asahi was holding the muscular, but still delicate body of his guardian deity with one hand, constantly pulling him closer and the other one dug into his hair at the back of the liberi's neck.   
After a too short period of time Nishinoya slowly, but firmly backed away, breathing heavily. Damn, why did he forget to take a breath? His forehead was leaning on Asahi's, refusing to be away more than necessarily.   
For a few moments both of them were unable to open their eyes, fearing that maybe this is not the reality, and if they do it, than it all disappears.   
When Nishinoya finally looked up his eyes were full of fear and badly suppressed hope.  
\- Are you... Are you drunk? Please tell me you know what you're doing right now, because I really... I really need you to want to do this, to know what are you doing – he was searching the other male's face with concern, looking with fear for a sign that he was in any kind of sedated condition.  
\- I am not drunk – he looked back at him seriously, but deep in his eyes there was some kind of a glint, that caused a warm feeling in the libero's body.  
He hid his face in Asahi's shoulder, sniffing the familiar scent and trying to savor every moment.  
\- Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm a moron. I ruined everything for us!  
\- Shh... Noya – the Asahi tried to comfort him, but the tears started to unstoppably coming from his eyes.  
\- You are crying... - Nishinoya reached up to brush away the wetness.  
\- Just... overwhelmed – he explained while he tried to wipe away evidence with one move, not successfully, but right now he didn't want to waste more time to them – Noya; I want you to pay attention to me now, okay? Are you listening?  
He cupped Nishinoya's face to make him look at him. The short male answered with a nod, slightly biting on his already chopped lips. Asahi couldn't stand it anymore and pressed him again in a tight embrace.   
\- I don't want you to speak about yourself like you did before ever again. You're so strong, and beautiful and brave, and you mean so much more to me than words can explain. I was angry, and it hurt that you shat me out this easily. I was afraid that if I let you back you would do it again; I shouldn't have compared you to other people from my past. But you have to promise to not run away again but stay with me and listen to my side of the story every time in the future.  
The arms around him pressed stronger, Nishinoya gave his every strength in it, to get as close as he could. It was a silent vow, they didn't needed words to understand it.  
\- Could this be a part where things get better? - He whispered quietly.  
They stayed like this for long minutes, both of them afraid to break the moment. Nishinoya was on his tiptoes, clinging to Asahi's neck while the taller male was leaning down and planted gentle kisses on his forehead and hair.

Tanaka noticed Mimi talking to Sugawara on the other side of the room. The boy laughed loudly while the girl was expounding a story to him, with small giggles between words. Tanaka was watching as she brushed away the now short hair from her face. Fortunately (or not, considering where they could be or what they could do right now) the black haired boy, who drove Nishinoya crazy and Asahi both have disappeared somewhere.  
\- Yo! I am here – he jumped into the conversation with a grin, and then useing his best flirty voice turned to face the girl – And what was your other two whishes?   
\- For you to be handsome and charming – she sighted following Tanaka in the imaginary situation, but easily turned down the (anyway little stupid) pick up line – But it looks like not all the wishes could come true.  
Tanaka looked on her for a moment, considering if she is pissed off or just witty, but when he didn't find any evidence of anger he let himself laugh.  
Yeah, Mimi was truly something unique, at least he thought this. She never gave in for those silly jokes, but always had a response without any serious offend. Not to mention the fact, that she was really beautiful too (Kiyoko was on the party too, and yet Tanaka is here, so that must mean something).  
\- Come on, Naomi-san! Marry me! – He shouted not even trying to suppress the boisterous energy coming from him.  
\- Tanaka, I think you are rushing it a little – Sugawara stopped the rapturous boy.  
\- True. But anyway I come here to ask where Asahi is, I wanted to talk to him about Yuu.  
\- He is gone to the bathroom for a while now, so he must come back really soon. But I don't think it is a good idea – the previous light conversation disappeared in no time, only seriousness was left in Naomi's voice.  
\- Asahi is in the bathroom? Yuu approximately twenty minutes ago locked himself in there, he was really upset, and he asked me to leave him alone a little to calm down.  
All three faces have turned to jitter.  
\- Are you saying that Asahi went after Noya? – Sugawara asked while he became just a little too pale.  
They were looking on each other for a moment, then at once all of them turned around and started to nearly run in the way of the restroom.  
\- I spent weeks to repair the soul of this ungrateful boy! You can't even imagine what we went through!  
\- Wanna bet? / Try it with Asahi's glass heart– Mimi and Suga responded in sync.   
\- If they managed to hurt each other in those ten minutes again, I will beat them– Tanaka growled with his most frightening expression while he kicked in the door.  
All three of them horned in the small entrance. The situation inside wasn't even near of what they were expecting.  
Nishinoya was clinging on Asahi's neck, who held him close with both hands and protectively leaned down around him, like he never wanted him to let go.  
The sudden noise made both of them look up, and jump away from each other. Asahi's eyes were red from crying, the color rushed to his face and he looked away shyly. Nishinoya just stood there blushed, looking on Asahi and their friends, seemingly uncomprehending what have just happened, his lips still swollen from kissing.  
\- That is not exactly what we expected – Sugawara's angel-like smile irradiated the small place, but it quickly turned to threatening – If you make each other cry once again because of your own stupidity it means the end for both of you.  
It was even scarier when his face turned back to happy and innocent, almost motherly.  
\- Come on, there is still some cake!  
\- Yuu! What was this? – Tanaka poked his best friend between his ribs with a big smile, but Nishinoya was uncharacteristically quiet, just staring at Asahi, from who was radiating a definite cloud of anxiety and stress.  
\- Tanaka, you should rather come with me now- Mimi pulled the boy after herself to the exit, but she still managed to hit her housemate in the back with full force, making Asahi to do some wobbly steps in the way of Nishinoya, a silent order. 'Go talk to him'  
\- Are you still angry at me? – Nishinoya asked vaguely as soon as the door closed behind their friends.  
\- What? Uh... Of course not – Asahi fidgeted with the sleeve of his clothes.  
\- Than we are friends again? - there was hesitancy in the libero's voice.  
\- Friends? No... - Asahi froze his eyes strongly just on floor – We were never really friends. I can't be your friend, Noya, whenever you are around the only thing I can think about is kissing you, our touching you, doing things with you. To you. After everything that happened, I can't go back to being your friend, I am sorry if you want that...  
\- I never wanted it....


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N.: This will be a monster as a chapter; you have been warned (above 8k words), and I didn't have the time to perfectly proof read, but if I don't post it today I wouldn't have time to do it for a long time. So sorry, and thank you for reading

\- Friends? No... - Asahi froze his eyes strictly just on the laminated floor – We were never really friends. I can't be your friend, Noya, whenever you are around the only thing I can think about is kissing you, or touching you, do THOSE things with you. To you. After everything that happened, I can't go back to being your friend, I am sorry if you want that...  
\- I never wanted that-

\- Then what do you want? – Asahi raised his eyebrows with doubt.   
\- Ohm, Asahi-san? – Nishinoya nervously fidgeted with the collar of his white t-shirt as he spoke – I know that this is really important conversation and I do want to have it with you, but couldn't we do it somewhere where people usually doesn't go when they have to poop?  
Asahi stared on the toilet like he saw it for the first time and then absently nodded.  
\- Yeah, you are right, we should find another place.  
-We could go to the high school, it would be nostalgic – the excitement about his plan was obvious in the libero's voice. Partly because he had quite few dreams with Asahi in the old gym or changing room, just the two of them...   
\- To the high school? First thing, I never thought you are capable of being sappy, and second, I am sure it is closed – Asahi declined the idea, but when he saw the smug look on Nishinoya's face he needed to add to his statement – No, we are not gonna climb in and risk getting arrested.  
\- Oh, how did you know what I wanted to propose?  
\- Because I know you – Asahi rolled his eyes, but then some kind and nice feeling took over him. He knew, at least he liked to think that he knew Nishinoya's way of thinking, and the way he slightly bite on his lower lip every time he had a stupid "fantastic idea", and his instincts didn't failed him – You didn't change that much. You are still reckless.  
\- I can't tell that about you! You worried about everything in high school, so I didn't have to – Nishinoya responded with a happy smirk, thinking about the times Asahi saved him from doing stupid things with his over thinking.  
He remembered how cute it seemed to him when the giant freaked out about things that were casual for him, but the same time could do everything that Noya couldn't, let it be a difficult homework, reaching the high shelves, carrying heavy things or dealing with adult stuffs.  
\- Somebody needed to worry instead of you about everything. You clearly weren't capable of doing it alone.   
And then it happened. Asahi smiled on him, and it felt like the room has lightened up. It wasn't a big grin, like Noya have on his face most of the time, it was just a little, nostalgic smile, barely reaching his eyes, but it was truly happy, and kind, and everything Nishinoya adored about Asahi. In his head everything became white and Asahi-centric. He made him forgot that they are in the middle of discussing important things . It didn't matter anymore, because Asahi was there, Asahi smiled, Asahi was gorgeous and handsome, and holly fuck Asahi was kissing him just a few minutes ago. His t-shirt probably has Asahi's earth-like and citrus (from his shampoo) scent on it. He will never wash it again.

Tho moment was broken by the clearly concerned voice of the older one.   
\- Noya? Why are you glaring at me? And did you really sniffed in your own t-shirt just now?  
Asahi felt a little uncomfortable when the other male looked on him with such an intensity like he was a little bug and Noya a child who played that he is a scientist, but his voice break whatever magic have take the libero over, making him heavily blink as a little pink color rushed on his cheeks.  
\- I want to kiss you – his voice was stern and confident, although somewhere in his thoughts he just started to freak out. Why he has to vocalize something that crosses his mind without thinking?  
So the situation is, that Asahi was kissed before plenty of times, he kissed people too, he wasn't even a virgin. He was a healthy 22 year old with a normal libido, but there was something about this situation, and the slightly flushed look on Nishinoya's face that made his face turn into dark crimson and he felt like he forgot how he was supposed to speak.  
\- Uh...Asahi-san? Can I kiss you? – Nishinoya tried a little gentler after not getting rejected instantly.  
The tall brunette just nodded, unable to make any noise.  
Nishinoya stepped closer, looking up on his ace. Asahi closed his eyes and exhaled, trying to calm down his racing heart.  
\- Asahi-san? – Nishinoya's voice was nearly just a whisper from embarrassment, when the older male opened his eyes he found him standing as close as he can – I kinda need your help, if you don't want me to stretch out your shirt while I pull you down, I.... That is a little humiliating, but I can't reach your lips...  
The taller male looked down on him for a few moments. Seeing Nishinoya, the most confident person he has ever known, being shy and self-conscious made him a little more comfortable.  
Nishinoya stood on his tiptoes, balancing himself on Asahi's shoulder, reaching his neck as long as he could, but still missing few centimeters between their faces.  
With a small smile Asahi bent down, closing the distance. Their lips met for a short time, just lips, enjoying each other's taste, testing the waters, not knowing exactly where they stand with each other.  
Asahi bent down a little more to allow the short guy relax, this way Nishinoya didn't need to hold himself, so he all could let himself the pleasure to wander his hands across the muscles on Asahi's shoulder and neck. Oh, god, he wasn't disappointed. The firm tissue under his fingers moved, tensed and relaxed as Asahi strengthened the embrace of his hand around Nishinoya, his hand rested on his hipbone, and the other one slipped on his back.  
\- God, you are perfect – Nishinoya mumbled in Asahi's mouth between two meetings of their lips.  
The spiker took the opportunity when the libero spoke to deepen the kiss, questioningly touching Nishinoya's closed mouth with his tongue, who in respond opened it instantly, letting Asahi to lead.  
Nishinoya have kissed plenty of different girls and a (really) few boys, but right now he would swore on everything he every loved, that Asahi was the best kisser in Japan. Not just the technique, sure that was impressive too, but the feeling he gave to Nishinoya was extraordinary. He was gentle but a unfaltering at the same time.  
Nishinoya gasped for air only when he started to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen, but Asahi didn't rest, started an attack against the soft skin on the libero's neck. Nishinoya pulled him closer, digging his fingers in the spiker's back. A tickling but almost unbearably intense sensation spread across his body as Asahi's tongue found the sensitive spot behind his ears, gently sucking where the nerves and vessels ran under his skin. A small moan escaped his mouth as he felt Asahi's teeth gently brush against him leaving a little red mark behind. Nishinoya needed more; he pressed himself against the muscular body, amazed by how perfectly that leg fitted between his.  
Asahi tensed up in a moment, pulling away from the smaller male, his face in a shameful red color.  
\- I am sorry...  
The younger boy let out a whimper at the sudden lost of connection and needed a few seconds to catch up with reality.  
This didn't make any sense. Nishinoya was the one who let out those sounds and the one who felt himself like a total mess after a kiss, which was initiated by him. What could have made Asahi.... Oh! A little glance more south on the adored body told everything. Yep, those were clearly excited pants. At least he matched Nishinoya in these feelings, who started to get painfully aware of the increased pressure in his jeans. But they didn't do anything special, just kiss... It can't be that Asahi got hard just because of his single moan, in Nishinoya's experience, which was mostly from one night stands with girls, it didn't work like this.  
\- You really think I am attractive... - his voice was full of amazement about this newly found discovery, a wide smile spreading across his burning face.  
\- That is the worst possible reaction, I hope you know – Asahi sighted, still with a blush – And I thought it is trivial... I was kissing...  
\- You could kiss someone without being serious – Nishinoya turned away his eyes.  
No, he haven't been proud of those things he didis in thethe last months, but he felt miserable for weeks, and flirting, making out with various girls made him distracted. But every time he woke up with hangover at some stranger girls place he felt himself even worse, and he was too ashamed to face her, so he just left before any of them could wake up.  
\- Yeah, this is one reason we should talk before doing anything. We clearly don't have the same attitude or experience towards ... uhm...intimate things – Asahi sounded a bit displeased, but his hand still rested on Nishinoya's waist, so it could still be okay. Right?  
\- Where?  
\- Mimi and I got Daichi's room while we are in Karasuno, we could go there, I just need to ask Mimi before if she wants to go to sleep soon – he was anxious again, and that gave bad feelings to the other male. It looked even worse comparing to a confident kissing god he was before.  
Fuck, his past actions can't ruin anything, right? What if Asahi is disgusted by him? He might despite his behavior...  
\- Hey, Noya? – Asahi looked down on him, already turned to the door, ready for leaving – Why are you upset?  
\- Nothing – he couldn't look on Asahi, he was afraid what he might see.  
He should have lied that he was just spacing out, but Asahi was Asahi, and he saw through him since they first met. He knew better Nishinoya's body language than the libero knew his own.  
A warm hand touched his cheek, gently forcing him to look on the spiker, whose face mirrored a similar fear that he felt.  
\- Don't leave me again – months of hurt echoed in those words, but Nishinoya couldn't help the light feeling blossoming in his chest, because it meant that there is hope for them.  
A quick peck on his lips reassured him how real this hope really is, before Asahi opened the door and went outside.  
Nishinoya looked on his back for a few moments, observing the perfect stature of his ace. It didn't matter who was in his team, Peter can be as good as he want, but the only real ace for him will always be Asahi.  
The libero walked out in the living room absolutely positive that he is dreaming. It can't be true, it can't really happen; those feelings inside of him, everything was too good to be real.  
He caught up with Asahi, walking enough close to him that their shoulder tentatively touched. Asahi leaned a little into the touch, just enough to let Nishinoya feel it, but then moved away to a normal distance.  
Nishinoya saw him glance in his direction with kindness in his eyes, and he knew that this day will be his best or worst depending on the outcome, but right now he felt like the happiness was leaking from him everywhere he went, and he couldn't erase the smile from his face.  
\- Aren't they a little too close? – Asahi's voice put him off of his thought.  
\- What? – He didn't even try to hide the confusion in his voice.  
Asahi just nodded in the way of the sofa. Mimi was there, leaning to the furniture with a smirk on her face, while Tanaka was standing opposite to her, one of his hands next to the girl, resting on the sofa. He was wildly grinning while explaining something to her.  
Mimi caught their glances almost immediately, and told something to the boy, most likely that their friends finally left the bathroom, because the bald boy turned around and nearly ran to them, just so he could jump on Nishinoya.  
The libero have felt himself lose the balance, but a steady hand on his back supported him.  
\- Be careful – Asahi might sounded calm, but from inside he nearly had a panic attack as he saw Nishinoya falling back under the weight of his best friend. He had no idea how those two boys could still be alive around each other –I will talk to Mimi, say if you are okay to continue our conversation.  
Whit those he left the two of them and their boisterous behavior.  
\- Man! What was that? I thought you will kill each other or become melancholic at least for months if you met. But you two, you went to the bathroom for a random hook up! I am so proud of you. I can't believe you get finally in those pants!  
\- Ryuu! Nothing like this happened! – Nishinoya's face turned red.  
\- You came out looking at him like he just redeemed your whole life! And I know what I heard!  
\- No I wasn't... Wait! You were eavesdropping on us?  
\- We might have – Tanaka laughed out loud, barely managing to speak between – We had to make sure you two won't fuck up again, so Suga, Daichi, Mimi and I were crowded around the door. Man! You two were talking, and you were quiet. Asahi had so intimidated voice asking why you are staring... Did you really sniff your t-shirt? You must explain it sometimes! Either way, Daichi had nearly opened the door to rescue our glass-hearted giant, when you started to shout that you want to kiss him. Mimi had to bit on her hand to not laugh too loud, she was really cute, her face was all blushed. At the end we had to leave when you wanted to initiate a kiss and couldn't reach Asahi, because everybody lost it. Daichi was literally covering Suga's mouth with his hand because our team's mum was hysterical.  
Nishinoya blushed even harder. In there, between the two of them it wasn't embarrassing or ridiculous, it was just them and a lot's of feelings and emotions accumulated in the long time they suppressed them, now coming up to the surface , and for Nishinoya it was perfect, better than anything he dreamed of, because it was the reality. It was full of their flaws and bad habits, that made it theirs and special. But hearing it from someone else, who wasn't part of it, was humiliating.  
\- Don't be this shy, you always told me about your adventures in the land of love. But you are usually way smoother when you are trying to seduce someone – his best friend hit him between his ribs.  
\- Asahi... He is not an adventure, and you know it, and there is no reason for me to try to seduce him, he knows me for who I am. But we didn't do anything. He just wants to talk with me in private – Nishinoya finally let out all his insecurities - . He looked displeased with me, I think he might be disgusted because of my "adventures"  
\- Don't worry, he might be jealous, but he looked on you like you are the best thing in his life, so don't worry my precious cinnamon roll, just stay calm and talk – Tanaka was already hugging him across his neck with one hand, the other one pointing in the way, where Mimi and Asahi were talking with Suga and Daichi – Would you believe if someone said it to you this morning that it will turn out like this? How you did it?  
\- I still don't know, bro. Honestly, I feel like I don't even play an active role in my life anymore. Things just happened, and I'm like "oh is this what we're doing now? OK" and trying to adapt. Not like I am complaining.  
\- You are too dramatic for someone who has the acting skills of a dead fish.  
Nishinoya glanced in the way where the group of the four people, including the most handsome human being, was standing. Asahi was looking on his phone, a little pale. What could have happened? Nishinoya wanted to know.  
\- Look! – Tanaka bumped into him to redirect his focus on Suga, who had light wrinkles of worry across his face, and gesticulated with both hands.  
Daichi stood right next to him, one hand on his shoulder, trying to calm down the birthday boy.  
\- Do you think Daichi is a little gay for Sugawara? – Nishinoya asked trying to resolve the situation.  
Tanaka looked on his small friend with amusement.  
\- Are you kidding? Have you ever met Suga? I think everyone is a little gay for him. Even me – he laughed at the question.  
\- Really? I thought the tall girls from Chiba are more your type – Nishinoya took the opportunity to take revenge on Tanaka for embarrassing him, and the effect have arrived just as expected.  
\- No, no... It is nothing like that – his face got a little blush on it.  
\- I know what I saw – Nishinoya grinned as he walked across the room.

He got enough close so that he could hear their conversation, nobody noticed him yet. Everyone was focused on Asahi, who stood between them with shrunk shoulders, but Nishinoya couldn't see his expression since he was facing the other direction.  
\- Are you sure one day will be enough? – Mimi touched Asahi's arm.  
\- Yeah, I don't want it to be too long.  
\- Asahi, dear, he is right too, I am not saying you should do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but you two need to talk, you know he is like this because he misses you – Suga looked more calmed down than before, Daichi's hand still on his shoulder - Nobody blames you.  
The former captain was the first who noticed Nishinoya, who suddenly felt himself really stupid. His heart sunk into his stomach, his chest hurt, but it wasn't the loving ache of happiness from before, it was heavy and suffocating. They must have talked about him... How could he be so stupid again? Of course Asahi doesn't want to deal with someone as childish and annoying as Nishinoya on the long term.  
\- Hey there!  
After Daichi greeted him, everybody turned around. A warm smile that appeared on Asahi's worn out face in the moment he saw the libero woke up the butterflies in Nishinoya's stomach despite the bitter feelings he had. If one night, then one night, but he will took the best of it, and make Asahi to remember him.  
\- Can we go? – He looked on the tall male with new determination.  
\- Of course, sorry. Just a few things come up but it could wait.  
Asahi lead him to Daichi's room, where he let Nishinoya enter first, closing to door behind them.  
Nishinoya looked around the small room, trying to engrave every little detail in his memory for the times when he will want to remember this night.  
There was a little bigger than normal bed, with a nightstand next to it. A small table in the middle of the room was full of makeup, hairbrush and other girly things, in one corner a conservative small vanity-bag, probably Asahi's. There was only one suitcase, but it contained clothes for both genres.  
\- There is no extra futon – pointed out Nishinoya as he set down on the corner of the bed.  
\- Yeah – Asahi fidgeted with the sleeve of his black shirt that was already creased, thanks to Nishinoya, but the white T-shirt under it still looked breathtakingly good – They have only one guest futon and Daichi got it, so we share the bed.  
The mentioned furniture cracked a little as Asahi set next to Nishinoya.  
\- You know, you really can't blame me for thinking you two are a couple... - he meant it to decrease the tension between them, but it backfired.  
\- I wasn't blaming you for what you thought...  
Oh no, that is not good. This conversation turned in bad way, and Nishinoya didn't plan to ruin the only night he got from him with such things.  
He practically jumped on Asahi without any hesitation, hands instantly wrapping around his neck, his lips closed on the other male's.  
\- What...? Noya... Please... First...- Asahi tried to stop him without any real conviction, but Nishinoya insisted in the kiss, so he slowly gave up and returned it.  
Nishinoya wasn't experienced in just guy things, but kisses were similar, and he was confident in his technique. He gently bite on Asahi's lower lip, and when he sighted and his mouth opened a little he took it as an invitation to deepen the kiss with tongue.  
Asahi's hand smoothed his back, little pressure just to reassure that he can continue.  
Nishinoya moved closer, one leg on the bed so he was with his full frontal side in the way of the spiker. It wasn't enough, he had to make this night a persistent memory.  
His other leg slowly went up into Asahi's lap without breaking the kiss so now the older male practically sat with the libero's legs around his waist. Nishinoya pushed his hands under the shirt, with gentle moves getting it off of the spiker's shoulders.  
Asahi pulled away a little unsure, but Nishinoya attacked his neck, his sharp tongue drawing lines following the traces of the toned muscles, sucking a little when he arrived to the collarbone. Asahi helped Nishinoya's hands to get off the shirt, gasping a little when the libero found a sensitive spot.  
But it wasn't enough for the younger one, he needed more. He returned to kissing Asahi's lips, spiced up with little bites and suckings. He wanted to make Asahi turned on; he wanted to make him feel good. He desperately needed him to not forget about tonight.  
The worst part of it was that he enjoyed it more than he wanted. Every little touch of Asahi's skin made him burn, every time he tasted him made the pressure increase inside of him. He already knew that this night will be the end of him, always remembering, and never getting over it.  
He felt almost physical pain when he had to back away from Asahi, even if it was just a moment until he pulled the older males T-shirt with him, and throw it on the floor.  
\- Noya, what... - Asahi tried to protest once again, but Nishinoya get rid of his own T-shirt too, and the sight of the half naked libero, the beautiful, athletic body of the boy he adored since the first time he saw him made his mind go blank.  
It is not like they never saw each other like this in changing rooms, but it was different, it was intimate and it was just for him, nobody else had the right to see him this way, his swollen lips from kissing, the erotic marks on his neck, claiming him to the person who made it, the blush on his face and the lustful look in his amber eyes. He felt like he was under hypnosis.  
Starting from his neck, Asahi's palm brushed down on Nishinoya's chest, following down on the flat stomach and settling a little before the V shape of his lower abdomen that disappeared in his pants. He touched gently the new purple and the older yellow bruises that darkened the libero's skin. He remembered the ones he saw on him before, the ones that were hurtful and made him angry, but the ones on the boy now were happy bruises, they were proud, volleyball bruises, like the ones that were on him in high school. They were part of the small male, just adding to his beauty.  
Nishinoya arched his body to follow the movement, trying to press himself into the touch.  
He was wasted. He burned, and desired, and the sight of Asahi's perfect body, his strong hands on him make it even worse.  
He reached across to pull Asahi closer for another kiss, one hand travelled down on Asahi's back.  
\- We should stop – the spiker murmured in his mouth.  
NO! They can't stop; it is not enough of Asahi. His hand continued their way, brushing against the arch of muscular waist, continuing the movement till he felt the abdominal muscles under his fingers.  
\- Noya, please listen to me – Asahi pulled away, but Nishinoya followed him with kisses.  
NO! He didn't give enough memory for Asahi yet, he will forget him.  
Nishinoya pushed his hands under the waist of Asahi's pants.  
\- Noya, stop! – Asahi gripped Nishinoya's wrist and pulled away his hand – I am not doing it.  
Nishinoya felt himself like he was punched. He failed, Asahi rejected him, he wasn't enough good.  
The hot tears of shame and disappointment burned his eyes, while Asahi moved a little away from him.  
\- I see. I am sorry, I could do better if you let me try again... – he turned away his head, Asahi can't see how pitiable he was.  
\- Noya, what are you talking about? – Asahi didn't get why Nishinoya thought that he is not good, damn, he drove him crazy already. He just didn't want it to be another one of Nishinoya's one night stands. He wanted to let him know first how much he meant, take him on dates and have him for his own.  
\- You don't have to act, I heard you saying that it will be just for a day, and that you don't want it to last too long...  
-And you still come here with me... Why? You wanted it like this? – Asahi's voice didn't tell anything about his emotions.  
-I wanted to be a good memory for you. I know I am being stupid, but I just wanted to make you happy, even if it is just for a night – he couldn't hold back the tears anymore.  
\- You are so dumb – relieved laugh left the spiker.  
Asahi closed one arm around Nishinoya's shoulders and the other around his waist. He pulled him in and hugged him so tightly that the air was pushed out of his lungs, but it didn't matter.  
\- I don't want you to be a memory, I want you in my life, this is why I wanted to talk with you, to tell you that I am serious and don't want to play anymore stupid emotional games. You really should stop sabotaging us with jumping to conclusions.  
\- But you said...  
\- We talked about my brother. I will visit his family and my mum tomorrow in Sendai, spending a night there before returning to Chiba. I doesn't really like being there because I feel responsible for my mom losing her husband, and you know, my brother his father, and the twins a grandfather. Kazu is angry at me because I haven't visited them since Christmas – Asahi circled with his thumb on Nishinoya's back, their naked chests pressed together, so the libero actually felt and heard Asahi's elevated heartbeat.  
Nishinoya pressed his face to the bare skin, enjoying the warm feeling and mumbling against it. It was a wonder how Asahi could understand what he was saying.  
\- It wasn't your fault...  
\- Hm?  
-I mean, your father leaving. Mimi told me about it.  
\- He left because they stood up for me when he stated that something as a filthy faggot like me is not their son. I don't think it could be anyone else's fault.  
Nishinoya immediately felt anger against the always polite bookworm man he remembered as Asahi's father.  
\- Asahi-san, you are perfect. It was his fault. You are everything good that exists on the world, you can't believe those things – he pulled away just enough to look in the older male's eyes.  
Asahi looked on him with a sad smile.  
\- But it is true. I can't change who I am, and that means that I am into guys. Especially one guy – he cupped Nishinoya's face before slowly placing one little gentle kiss on his lips – I never wanted to ruin my family's life, and I still love and miss my father, I think about him a lot, what would he think about something or what advice would he give, but this is who I am.  
Nishinoya couldn't think about anything he could say that wouldn't sound stupid right now, so he just did what he always had done in around Asahi, told the first thing that crossed his mind.  
\- Asahi-san, you are so wise and too kind!  
Wrinkles appeared around Asahi's eyes along with the most beautiful smile on his lips, just a look on it was enough and Nishinoya's hearth fluttered inside of his chest.

They reached for each other in the same time, uniting in a long and emotional kiss. Looking deeply in Nishinoya's eyes Asahi leaned on him, his hand on the libero's back as he placed him on the pillows. Between the series of kisses, he slowly stroked the side of his partner's abdomen, on thethe outside of his legs, down till the knees, and then his hands sleeped on the inside, now going upper and upper. Nishinoya opened his legs wider so Asahi could reach him easier. The spiker stopped the kisses just long enough to make sure the other one is okay with what was happening, but Nishinoya already pulled him back in the kisses and arching his back to get closer to the hand that was now dangerously close to his crotch.

\- Yo, lovebirds! We are making group picture so come out! – a loud knock and Tanaka's voice distracted them.  
Nishinoya gasped for air, only now noticing he was holding his breath in the expectations for the soo wanted touchto.  
\- Let's stay quiet maybe he will leave – he growled in disappointment, earning a small giggle from Asahi, that he felt vibrating across his body.  
\- You have half minute before I enter and if you are doing any weird stuffs in my bed you will regret it! – Daichi's calm voice has had a way bigger effect.  
Asahi tensed up, all the blood left his face looking terrified on their half naked bodies tangled around each other.  
\- 29, 28, ... - hearing the countdown from outside make him let out a small whimper.  
Normally Nishinoya wouldn't give a damn about it, but he didn't want Asahi to be afraid so he jumped up, giving him a small peck.  
\- Come on – he pulled him up from bed, giving him his clothes.  
Asahi thankfully accepted it and turned away to put it on. The white T-shirt was already a little strange feeling when he put his hands in it, but when he tried to pull it over head it couldn't fit on. Asahi took it down, looking closer on the shirt.  
\- Noya, I think I have the wrong... - he turned around to Nishinoya, he never finished his sentence.  
Nishinoya stood before him, examining the T-shirt on himself, which was way to big on him. It reached halfway on his tights, hanging loosely on his shoulders, sleeves brushing against his knees. The neck of the shirt slide down because of its size, uncovering his collarbones. He looked even smaller and extremely adorable, not to mention that there was some strange feeling inside Asahi while seeing Nishinoya in his shirt. Some ancient desire to mark his territory, to mark his love as his own had woke up inside him.  
\- Yeah, I just figured it out – the libero laughed looking up – Oh my god, Asahi, are you alright?  
The spiker stood there, eyes widened, blood rushing in his face and he felt himself at the edge of a nosebleed.  
\- Please Asahi, don't faint, I have no clue what should I do – Nishinoya hurried across the room to him.  
Asahi buried his face into Nishinoya's hair.  
\- You are too cute – he whined hugging Nishinoya closer.  
\- 10 seconds! I can hear you flirting inside!  
Daichi's voice done the damage again, ruining the moment.  
Nishinoya quickly handed back Asahi's shirt, so now they got dressed in no time.  
\- 5!  
They were ready to leave, but Nishinoya hold onto Asahi's wrist for a moment.  
\- Asahi, so now we...? – He let it unfinished, waiting for the spiker to complete the sentence, with both hands gesticulating between them like some crazy penguin. Or an idiot. Most likely the second one.  
\- We? Uhm, I mean... I want to date you, if it is okay – he said while anxiously rubbing his neck.  
\- Okay? I waited for those words six years! – He grinned on Asahi.  
Nishinoya reached up to gently pull Asahi, just to signal for him that he should totally kiss him now, but their time was over.  
The door have swung open as Tanaka kicked it in, Daichi standing behind him pleased to found two completely dressed and just a little messy guys.  
\- You two, everything alright? No more crying?  
Asahi looked on the small male next to him for reassurance.  
\- Asahi-san is ready to ruin his innocent little underclassman – Nishinoya teased, satisfied with the blush appearing on the spiker's face.  
Asahi looked like he was ready to sink under the floor from shame, while the others were just amused.  
\- Noya, I know that you have really high opinion about Asahi and you expect a lot from him, but I have to disappoint you, Asahi is not a time traveler to go back in time when you were still innocent –Daichi helped out the poor embarrassed giant, and now it was Nishinoya's turn to blush.  
\- Guys! Everybody is waiting for you! –a shout come from living room, probably Mimi lost her patience.  
\- Wait! – Asahi pulled back Nishinoya, who was already headed towards the others – How open were you exactly in Karasuno? That's a quite important question when we are going in the middle of a place full of people we know.  
\- I think it never really came up – Nishinoya tried to think about it – In Chiba I didn't have to tell anyone, as you know... But there, I think I spoke only with Ryuu.  
\- Family? I want you to know, that I am okay with waiting as long as you want if you didn't come out to them yet.  
\- Of course you are – he touched Asahi's cheek lovingly – You are the kindest and most patient man on the world. But don't worry, my mom told me today that they guessed I am into you in my first year of high school.  
\- They guessed? – The older male looked stunned.  
\- Yeah, she said I was obvious –Nishinoya acted insulted, but the grin sold him out.  
\- You both were, and idiots to not realizing it.  
Daichi pushed them to move.  
Sugawara ran there and Nishinoya couldn't miss his questioning look so he grinned on the silver haired boy and showed him a thumb up.  
\- Alright, join the group! – The birthday boy ordered them with the lighted up face.

They were somewhere around twenty people, in three rows. Hinata and Yachi were of course on the first one, holding hands. The red haired boy was loudly explaining something to Kageyama who stood behind them, and sometimes to an oddly familiar boy with short black hair, who was constantly playing on his phone. Only when he looked up and Nishinoya saw his cat-like eyes he recognized the Nekoma's former setter, but he couldn't remember his name.  
In the other end of the row was standing the shrimp who talked with Asahi before, in the middle was left place for Sugawara and Daichi who were setting the camera.  
Ennoshita and Kiyoko were in the second one, Ryuu and Mimi joined them. Asahi went automatically in the last one, next to Ushijima and Tsukishima and some other titans.  
After a few seconds of thinking he joined Asahi.  
\- Nishinoya-senpai, I don't think you could be seen in the picture if you stand here – Tsukishima looked down on him, and that quite annoyed the short boy.  
He was right, he was completely hidden behind the people's back that's true, but still!  
\- I want to be tall!  
\- There is nothing wrong with being small, but you had to know your limits, your place is in the first row – nobody could really argue with calm voice of Ushijima, mostly because he was just saying the truth and didn't mean it in bad way.  
\- A good teamwork could erase your limits – Nishinoya grinned – Asahi, you will lift me, right?  
\- Ohm... uh... - he looked really uncomfortable to being involved in an argument, but nodded – Of course.  
So that is how, at the end with Ushijima's help who picked up and casually put Nishinoya on Asahi, the libero ended up on Asahi's back for the picture.

\- You are the former ace, Shoyou used to be jealous of you – the cat-eyed boy joined Asahi on the sofa.  
Everybody else was dancing, or at least tried to dance on the music.  
Mimi was with Daichi at the moment, both stood out because of their flawless moves, Sugawara was loudly singing with two of his college friends, a brunette girl and Eiko. Nishinoya and Ryuu was mimicking and making fun of Hinata who was spinning Yachi insanely, pour girl looked a little green already.  
Kageyama had been on the middle of the dance floor with the strangest dance Asahi have ever seen, he somehow circulated with his whole body.  
Asahi looked on his company.  
\- You are from Nekoma.  
\- Kenma Kozume – he introduced himself.  
\- The setter, right? Asahi Azumane.  
\- Yeah, right – he looked down on his phone; some game was already opened on it.  
\- How are the others from your team? – Asahi tried to make a conversation, but to be honest; it didn't look like they are capable of having one.  
\- I don't really follow them – he didn't even glance up from his mobile.  
\- I see.  
\- Lev went back to Russia.  
\- Wasn't Kuroo your close friend?  
Kenma's face painfully flinched.  
\- We lost touch after his mom died a few years ago and he decided to sell the house so he could move away. But I think he is a professional player now.  
\- I am sorry- Asahi felt bad for bringing up sad memories, but Kenma just shook it away with his hand.  
\- You like the libero.  
Asahi was uncomfortable already, it was a sensitive topic since they didn't really agreed on anything about others knowing.  
\- You don't have to tell, I just saw it.  
They were sitting in uncomfortable silence until Nishinoya ran to them.  
\- Asahi-san – he pulled the spiker's hand – Come, dance with me!  
\- I don't think it is a good idea – Asahi looked around anxiously, feeling the examining look from Kenma on them.  
\- Come on, I want to dance with you!  
Looking around in the room Asahi found Ryuu, Mimi was trying to teach him some dance moves, Daichi laughing at him and sometimes helping out Mimi.  
\- Friends can dance too, nobody will assume anything – Nishinoya whispered in his ears.  
At least Asahi let himself to be pulled away from the sofa.  
Nishinoya wasn't the best, but he wasn't awful either. He had really good moves, he was turning and using his hips before Asahi as a professional dancer (little bit more of ana exotic dancer type than it should have been), it just didn't always match the music. On the other hand Asahi had a good sense for the rhythm and melody, but didn't have the courage to move as he felt, so he ended up just awkwardly stepping from one foot to another.  
The song ended and another one started, this one was slow, and really romantic. Asahi looked in the way of the laptop that played the music, where Sugawara stood with wild grin and winked like a maniac.  
Peoples around them have already started to pair up. Yachi and Hinata, Sugawara and brunette girl who sang with him before, Daichi and Kiyoko, Tanaka was trying to convince Mimi, even Ushijima was trying to move gently with his hands round a slightly scared girl.  
\- Can we...? – Nishinoya looked on him asking for permission.  
\- Come here – Asahi wrapped his hands around Nishinoya.  
It was uncomfortable, the short male had to be stretched all the time, and he was so concentrated on reaching up that he messed with his steps a lot, bumping in each other.  
\- Uhm, Noya? You can step on my feet if you want – Asahi proposed shyly – I will lead and you could reach me easier then.  
Nishinoya considered it quetly, and then gently did as he was told to. The few centimeters were enough that he could have rested his hand on Asahi's shoulder or around his neck, not to mention that he was closer this way, nearly felt Asahi's breath on his face and that made his chest want to explode with happiness.  
Asahi moved perfectly to the rhythm, slowly stepping in a little circle. He concentrated with every nerve on the sweet weight of his boyfriend on him, the warm feeling of a body against him, the perfect curve of his waist under his palms and the beautiful shine in his eyes as he looked on him.  
Asahi couldn't help himself, he wanted to touch the adorable little smile on his face; he never felt so in love like now. His fingers brushed against Nishinoya's lips for a moment, but he pulled away almost instantly.  
\- I am sorry, I forgot we are in public – he apologized, his face turned in slight pink.  
\- Don't care, I want to forget them too – there was a new kind of determination in Nishinoya's eyes as he stretched his neck, licking his lips.  
Asahi placed a placid kiss right there.  
\- Disgusting!  
The sharp voice came from near them, making them twitch.  
\- Eiko! – A blonde girl who danced with him took a step back.  
\- Don't tell me you are not nauseous from seeing them! Keep that behavior behind closed doors, deviants.  
Asahi's heart weighted tons right now, especially when he noticed the hunted look on his partners face. He should have defended him, not make him target again!  
He was bad in confrontations, so he just blocked down and tried to protectively hug Nishinoya to himself. It felt like the whole room was watching them.  
\- That's a disease! – The not so long ago kind guy nearly spitted the words at them.  
\- You are a...! –Nishinoya found his voice but he couldn't even finish his first take back when a tall body stepped between them.  
\- I am sorry, but as a medical student I have to disagree with this statement. The sexual orientation has nothing to do with the personskisses health, therefor its not a disease.  
Nishinoya's mouth dropped that Tsukishima was the one coming to help them out.  
\- You can't talk like this about my bro! – Tanaka was the next one, with his best intimidating face, ready to fight.  
\- Please, leave. I will show you the entrance if you can't find it – Ushijima was the scariest thanks to his stature even when he asked politely. Not to mention that it was a big surprise that he actually stood up for them.  
\- Eiko, you are talking about our best friend – Sugawara joined the growing group around them, followed by Daichi.  
\- I can't tolerate intolerance.  
\- You two alright? – Mimi couldn't even try to be in the "protection squad", she would just look funny between the muscular boys, so he rather tried to comfort the pair.  
\- You should be respectful with such amazing players as the senpais! – Hinata, Kageyama spoke up, dragging the pale and shocked Yachi after them.  
Asahi couldn't imagine how they earned this, but people stood around, even strangers, against Eiko and the poor girl who looked really uncomfortable.  
Tears stung Asahi's eyes experiencing this much of a support.

Nishinoya was already ugly crying, wiping his eyes in his t-shirt.  
Eiko left the party in hurry, and the people around them went back to enjoying themself, only the closest ones stayed.  
\- I am sorry – the taller male mumbled in the other ones hair.  
\- We have amazing friends – Nishinoya responded tears still coming from his eyes, but with the big grin it was rather comical right now.  
\- Sorry guys, I didn't know that Eiko is like that – Sugawara apologized.  
\- It wasn't you fault – Mimi looked still a little concerned while turning to his housemate – Neither was yours, okay?  
\- People are just jerks – Tanaka agreed with the girl.  
\- But still, in the friend's house you should be safe – Daichi still was pretty much pissed off.  
\- Noya? – Asahi brushed the libero's face painfully slowly – They are right, we didn't do anything wrong, people are like this. We can't go out anywhere without being prepared for confrontation and mean things. I can't ask you to live like this. So if you changed your mind and you would rather date a girl...  
\- You are ridiculous! – Nishinoya didn't let him finish, his face was colored red from the anger – Don't you dare back off from me! I love you and I want to be with you even if I have to get in a fight every day for it!  
Warm feeling of happiness blossomed in Asahi's chest as he repeated the words despite of the upset tone of Nishinoya's words. Tears of happiness returned to his eyes, he couldn't believe it yet.  
\- You love me.  
\- I do.

\----

The phone rang somewhere in the kitchen so Rin put down her tea on the café table and turned off the television. She wasn't really watching it so it didn't matter, she just couldn't sleep until she was sure that the boys are safe and not wandering on the streets at night.  
\- Ryuu dear, is everything alright? Should I pick you up? – She answered the call.  
\- Yeah, but Auntie I think we will spend the night here, okay? – Her best friend's son would sleep at Nishinoya house anyway, so it wasn't strange to ask only for her permission.  
\- Alright, take care. Don't make a mess and try to not bother the hosts.  
\- Thanks Auntie!  
\- Wait, Ryuu, how is Yuu? Tell me you didn't stay there because he drank too much again... - of course she knew about her son's party nights, and Tanaka knew better than trying to lie to her.  
\- He is alright, he barely drank, and I think he had a really good night – Rin could hear the smile in his voice.  
\- I suppose then the encounter with Azumane-san went well.  
\- Way better than we thought – Tanaka giggled in the phone - Auntie, I think Yuu might be introducing his new boyfriend in the near future.  
\- Boyfriend? – she smiled at the thought that her son finally settled after so long years of pinning, at least they didn't let him move in Chiba for nothing, but then the realization hit her – Ryuu, as a mother I can't approve if my son is sleeping with someone after a day.  
The boy started to laugh.  
\- Yeah, they are sleeping together, but nothing like you think. I will send a picture.  
\- If there is anything inappropriate on that picture I will be there for you in ten minutes.  
Her phone buzzed so she put on the speaker and took away the appliance from her ear.  
She got a photo from Ryuu, where a tall man, Asahi, slept on a sofa, his legs hung down because of his height, his hair was falling out of his messy bun, but most importantly he was fully dressed up. A lot smaller boy, Nishinoya, was huddled up, with legs across the other male and covered in a black shirt as a blanket on the bigger ones chest. Asahi was holding him even when he was asleep with one hand around his shoulders, to prevent him from falling.  
Rin looked on her son's peaceful face cuddled to the male, a small smile in the corner of his mouth telling that he has sweet dreams. She taped on the save button.  
\- Okay, they are adorable – she sighted giving in – I will pick you up tomorrow. Have a good night.

\- You finished? – Mimi was leaning to the wall next to Tanaka.  
They were the only ones up. Most of the peoples left already, only Hinata was passed out in the bathroom, for what Yachi apologized at least thousand times before she left, but she couldn't take the boy with her and Kageyama wasn't there anymore to help.  
Asahi felt asleep with Nishinoya in his arms before Tanaka could get him to leave, and after that he didn't have a heart to wake them. Daichi and Sugawara were exhausted from the hosting so they were already in their room.  
\- Yeah, we could stay for the night – Tanaka nodded – I just have to find some spot where I can at least take a nap until they wake up.  
He didn't even tried to suggest anything to Mimi, he was hitting on her all night, but she made it clear that she is not up for a hook up. Maybe just Tanaka wasn't her type.  
So when she smiled on him and kindly pushed him in the way of the bedroom Tanaka was stunned to say at least.  
\- Come on, if you behave like a gentleman you can sleep next to me on Asahi's place.


	17. Chapter 17

Asahi woke up to the permanent gentle pushing on his shoulder.  
\- Come on, Asahi, you slept enough!  
He only responded with a sleepy "mmm" and pulling the too much awake boy closer, partly because it felt so warm and he had a really good smell from the last night's shower, but on the other hand it was perfect for preventing him in causing more damage to his sleep schedule.  
\- Asahi-san – Nishinoya whined while being clinched in the embrace. He got a habit of using "san" after his boyfriends name only when he really wanted something.  
\- What time is it? – Asahi yawned while releasing the squirming boy.  
\- It's already half past six. I wanted to wait for you to wake up, but you took so long...  
A growl left Asahi as he turned away, pulling the cover over his head.   
\- Maybe because it's practically still night.   
\- Nyaaa, Babe! Binnie Bear~ - Nishinoya sang pleadingly, shaking the bigger male.  
\- Let me sleep, you weirdo – a drowsy voice come in response.  
Asahi didn't need to leave for work until ten, so he still had more than two hours of sleep, not to mention that after Nishinoya felt asleep on Asahi last night, he carried the small boy in the bed and then stayed up to study for his class. It might be just a crash-curse but he still wanted to perform well on his upcoming exam to become a volleyball referee.   
It won't be enough to quit his job, not like he would want to do it, he liked the small shop (actually it was a tea shop, still a shop, right?), but it will be a nice side job while he could do something he enjoys.  
Nishinoya climbed out of the bed, unsuccessful in waking up his boyfriend.  
\- Then I will do breakfast...  
\- Fine – Asahi relaxed that he could continue his sleep, but it didn't last long.  
As the first noise of a falling plot hit his ear and the realization came to him, he was already on his foot, running down to the kitchen.   
\- What's up? – Mimi looked out of her room.  
The sleepy mumbling followed it from the guest room. The summer vacation started two days ago, but because Asahi had to work for a few days longer and Nishinoya will have a match in three days, so he couldn't skip practice, the house practically became a summer camp.  
\- Noya is cooking! – Asahi was mortified and with a damn good reason.  
Mimi's face became pale too; she remembered the last time too brightly to be calm about this fact.  
\- How could you let him?! – They were rushing on the stairs together.  
\- Noya, stop! – Mimi shouted as they saw the little boy preparing to make eggs.   
Asahi had longer legs, and he was already next to him, grabbing the libero around his waist and lifting him away from anything dangerous for him or for the whole household.  
\- Asahi! Aren't you exaggerating? – A little annoyance could be heard in his voice.  
\- Considering the past? He is not – Mimi answered while her housemate put down his boyfriend on a chair.  
\- That sounds like a good story – Tanaka came down after them laughing.  
He gave a small peck on Mimi's face as he passed her. They weren't a couple, not really, but after Suga's birthday Tanaka visited Nishinoya oddly more than before, although Mimi and him both agreed that they live to far away from each other for anything serious. They haven't even done anything too controversial for a long time, until some guy catcalled Mimi on the street and Tanaka formed a one man protection squad for her. They slowly grow closer after that, and when the anniversary of Mimi's worst day came closer and she started to be more and more quiet, Tanaka closed the restaurant for a week to be with her. When she was back to her old self, the two of them were like a couple, although no one said it out loud.  
\- Ryuu, tell them they are exaggerating! –Nishinoya whined on the chair - Last time was an accident, even the...  
\- We're not talking about stuff like this – Mimi made him stop.  
\- Why are you all so noisy? - Sugawara was the first to come out from the guest's room with a grumpy grimace on his face – Coffee?  
He was too sleepy to politely ask for it.  
\- Please, someone make him a coffee – Daichi followed him, still yawning - He gets all cranky when he doesn't get enough sleep.  
Asahi, who in the mid time was quietly napping, leaned on his small boyfriend to make sure that he stays safe and away from the kitchen, decided to join the conversation. – That's true. Watch this.  
He turned to the silver haired guy, who till now didn't care to listen to the conversation.  
\- Hey, what's up, Suga?  
The answer was more like a growl than actual human voice.  
\- Get out of my face!  
Asahi laughed it off, he knew that his friend didn't meant it; it was just morning-Suga.  
\- Oh my god, I can't believe Sugawara-san has a grumpy side to! – Nishinoya was amused a little more than what was reasonable for the situation but it disappeared as Asahi leaned back on him to continue his nap.  
\- Asahi! Don't sleep on me! – He whined, trying to escape.  
\- Hah, Big guy, Noya tired you out last night? – Tanaka teased them, what would make Asahi blush, if he wasn't already half-asleep.  
\- If you mean sex, they definitely didn't have it last night – Mimi replied to him with an indifferent tone as she started to prepare coffee.   
\- How you know? - Daichi was quite curious about anything that he could use to mock his friends.  
\- Nishinoya doesn't care if I know how good Asahi is – she shrugged her shoulders, but seeing the uncomprehending faces around her she added – I mean, he is so loud, the whole neighborhood hears it, and I think everyone wants to have sex with Asahi, if he is at least half as good as it sounds.  
\- HEY! – Nishinoya complained loudly while blood rushed in his face, but he couldn't't resist to whisper just enough loud for everyone to hear – He is...  
\- You are noisy! – Sugawara bellyached at the loud laughing that followed.  
Nishinoya started to gently push Asahi off of himself.  
\- Okay, the older generation really should go back to sleep – Tanaka added while looking around, Asahi barely awake, Daichi yawning constantly, and Sugawara who... Who was looking without blinking on the basket of fruits like it murdered his family – We will make the breakfast! You can count on your underclassmen!   
Asahi glanced on Nishinoya and then on Tanaka with doubt.   
\- Come on... I owe a restaurant; I can take care of my bro in the kitchen!  
\- I don't need a baby sitter, I lived alone for years – Nishinoya complained.  
Asahi left with a sight, he really needed more sleep. It didn't even had to be mentioned that it wasn't Nishinoya who convinced him. As much as he loved the tiny and energetic libero, it was still a mistery how he stayed alive on only take-away food for so long. 

Mimi sat across the table, drinking the last sips of her coffee, while Tanaka was finishing the breakfast. They (mostly Tanaka) made a portion what Nishinoya will bring up for Asahi, because he wanted to treat him in bed.  
\- What you plan to do today? – Mimi tried to chat.  
\- I have practice, but before it I want to visit Asahi in the shop. The owner said I can spend as much time there as a want, until Asahi takes care of the costumers properly – he made an annoyed grimace – I think she assumes I am his little brother... Anyway, I get to spend time with Asahi, so it is not that terrible.  
\- Isn't Sencho's uncle the owner? I don't think he would have anything against your relationship – Mimi played with a lock of her hair, trying to make a knot on it.  
\- Yeah, maybe... But Asahi likes the shop so I don't want to endanger his job.  
Nishinoya loved Asahi, but he wasn't the type who keeps secrets, and it was really hard on him to not shout out how incredible and amazing his boyfriend is. He wanted everyone to know about them, to know that a person like Asahi wants to be with him. He was so lucky and proud!  
The hardest parts were still when they were in public and everything he wanted to do was hug, and kiss and hold hands.   
On the other hand, he hated when people were rude to them, they commented, pushed, declined the orders, and Asahi, he had the purest glass-hearth, and Nishinoya just wanted to prevent people hurting him, because the spiker would stiffen, shrug his shoulder, pretend like he didn't hear or felt anything, and felt guilty. That was what scared Nishinoya the most, Asahi feeling like he is the reason the libero had to experience the hate of strangers. Nishinoya hated his bisexuality, because that left a chance for Asahi to think that Nishinoya could be better off without him, finding a girl, but he would never want a girl, only Asahi. Always Asahi. So if he needs to regulate himself in public just to keep him, then he will do it.  
\- I don't think it would endanger anything. Just keep down the PDA when there are costumers. Otherwise Asahi got the job because he befriended the owner's gay nephew while playing volleyball– the look on Mimi's face was curious, looking for the reaction.  
\- Really? Wait... - Nishinoya thought a little, trying to connect the clues – You are telling me Sencho is gay?   
\- Mhm – she was already braiding the lock that she was playing with, Tanaka absently ruffled her hair and then went back to cooking.  
\- They... - suddenly Nishinoya felt himself quite stupid to not seeing it – Did he have something with Asahi?  
\- Not really, they went on a date once, but it was terrible. They are not each other's type, I guess.  
Confusion and a little pique raised in the short male, Mimi looking on him like it was a test of his temper.  
\- What is wrong with him? Asahi is fucking perfect!   
Mimi smiled with relief.  
\- That's the best reaction you could have!  
\- Naomi, if you finished with the inspection of my bro, then I finished the food, he could take it up for his man. 

Nishinoya used his elbow to open the door as gently as he could while balancing a plate with everything they made for breakfast, that included eggs, ham, pancakes, rice, roasted asparagus and nearly everything they found in the kitchen and Tanaka could made something edible from it. After entering the room he placed the plate on the floor.   
His heartbeat became faster as he saw Asahi peacefully sleep, his long brown hair around his head as a gloriole. The T-shirt curled up on his abdomen uncovering the perfect abs, and although it made the libero's mouth dry, the thing that really flattered his heart was, that Asahi was sleeping whit Nishinoya's pillow in his arms, his face pressed against it, just like he wanted to smell his boyfriend, to imagine him lying next to him.  
He was so perfect and cute, and just looking on him made Nishinoya the happiest person on the world.  
The short boy brushed away a soft lock from his boyfriends face, earning a light burble in response.  
\- Hey, sleeping beauty, you should wake up – he placed a light kiss on Asahi's mouth.  
\- Or I can stay here with you forever – strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him in the gentlest way to the bed.   
He took a deep breath inhaling Asahi's smell, with the slightest touch of citrus, and the feeling of warm and comfy bed.   
\- I bought you food – he smiled in the curve of the spiker's neck.   
\- Hmm... Sounds good...  
Asahi rolled out of the bed to bring the plate, with more than enough food for two to the bed.  
He felt Nishinoya's intense gaze following him until he didn't return next to him and get comfortable again. The smaller boy leaned on his side with a sight.  
\- What's wrong? Are you worried because you will meet my mom? – Asahi smoothed his boyfriends face.  
They talked about it last night, Asahi told his brother that he is dating someone seriously, and the word get around, so he received the call from his mom demanding to take Nishinoya to their house for a check out, so they agreed that after the libero's match they will spend few days in Sendai and then visit Nishinoya's (really supportive) parents in Karasuno too.  
\- No, no, just... You are too good! Not fair – he whined while hiding his face under the spiker's armpit.   
\- Huh? – Asahi tried to get him away enough to look in his face – What got to you?   
Nishinoya sat up blowing out the air loudly, with the light pink color on his cheeks.  
\- We talked about Sencho, and I just... He is handsome, and tall, and works with you, he plays volleyball with you, and you just get on well, and he is gay... I mean... Asahi why? Why me? I nearly ruined our friendship four times, counting in the match against Dateko and not calling you after you graduation. Not to mention I look like a child, and I really annoy you sometimes – Nishinoya shook his head in disbelief. Asahi was perfect. Why would he be with him of all people?   
\- It is hard to think that somebody like you could have any insecurity – Asahi looked on him with his eyebrows drawn together, Nishinoya usually was really light hearted and didn't liked to talk about deeper things, so it was really strange behavior for him – I never wanted Sencho. You are courageous, funny, kind, supportive and beautiful. In high school you had the confidence instead of me and you were the reason I kept up with the team, I had a crush on you since we met. You will be the perfect physiotherapist and the best libero on the world, and I hate violence but I want to punch every single jerk on that damn planet that made you think you are not worth every possible good thing in this universe. And please never again say such a thing that you look like a child; it makes me sound like a pedophile, because I think you are the sexiest thing I have ever seen.  
\- You have really strange taste – Nishinoya's smile was something that lighted up his day every time it appeared on his adorable face.  
\- I am sorry Asahi, it's not like I don't trust you, I just...You are so much better than me!  
\- You are dumb – Asahi kissed his forehead – You know, I felt the same when I saw you with your new ace.  
\- Peter? Why?   
Asahi's thumb was drawing circles on the skin under his shirt.   
\- Because he is the kind of ace I could never be for you.  
\- That's just stupid! – Nishinoya shook his head in disagreement – He is nothing comparing to you!  
Asahi just laughed on the exaggeration.  
\- Come here – he spread his arms, and Nishinoya happily jumped in the embrace, squeezing Asahi's torso as close as he could, his face pressed in the curve of his neck.

Usually Asahi liked when his friends come to visit him in the tea shop, so at first he was sure it is a good thing when Noya bounced in with Mimi and Tanaka after him, but right now he only hoped there won't be any costumers, because he was sure that there is no way he could concentrate on anything while Nishinoya was leaning across the counter to reach his bag that accidentally fell down there.  
\- Asahi, you might be a little red – Tanaka teased – And you definitely should stop staring.  
Nishinoya hearing that playfully wiggled his ass, and that alone was enough to nearly send Asahi in cardiac arrest. It wasn't even his fault! Nishinoya was already in his practice clothes, saying that "if he didn't need to change before it in the gym, then he had a few more minutes to spend with Asahi in the shop".   
Asahi always thought Nishinoya looked the cutest when dressed up for volleyball, after all he fell in love with him like that, but his butt showing in the air only in a short truly made him rethink how could he date him until now without fainting.   
\- Oh my god! Asahi! – Mimi sighted while Asahi looked away trying to put enough air in his already burning lungs.  
Nishinoya finally got his bag and stood up, turning to face his boyfriend, who he could called tomato right now, there was no real diffrence between the color.  
\- Asahi-san – he nearly sang his name in the most flirtatious voice he managed to pull out stepping closer and closer, until he could touch his chest – You have a thing for me in volleyball stuffs? You should have said...  
The named male chocked on his own breath.  
\- N-No – he managed to push out between his teeth, but he couldn't fool anyone and there was no pity for him after that.  
\- Really? Because I'd get on my knee pads for you quickly~   
Looking back at this moment Asahi would swore his brain short circulated as every word and thought disappeared from his mind.  
\- You broke him! – Tanaka laughed out loud seeing the motionless male.  
\- I don't think he is breathing – Mimi was slightly concerned as she watched her housemate wide eyed and redder with every moment.  
Asahi suddenly grabbed Nishinoya and hid his face in the shoulder of the short boy, what meant he needed to lean down. The libero patted his head with encouragement, not wanting to increase the damage.  
\- You will be the end of me – Asahi mumbled in the soft skin right where his collarbone was.  
Nishinoya smiled happily as the long brown hair tickled his noise in the attempt to kiss his boyfriends head.  
The moment was over, when the door suddenly opened and closed.  
-Asa-chan! – A highly pitched voice shouted across the shop with enthusiasm.  
Maybe Nishinoya would take a better look on the intruder if it wasn't for Asahi, whose every single muscle stiffened up, not making even the slightest move to turn to his costumer.  
\- Who is this? – Tanaka asked, picking up the sudden tension from the air.  
\- Asahi? – The question was obvious in Nishinoya's voice but the taller male couldn't answer yet.   
He wanted to cry, to shout, and make the unwanted costumer leave.  
\- He is... Hino – Mimi answered instead of him, her eyes narrowed with hate to the male.  
Nishinoya took the opportunity to observe him. He was short, but still a little taller than him; he had dyed light brown-nearly blonde hair, slightly spiked up in one way, on the side of his head cut short, pointy face and narrow eyes.  
He had the biggest and most innocent smile on his face, which made Nishinoya's fingers curl in a fist.  
\- The costumer-service really went downhill since I was here for the last time!  
Nishinoya tensed up, ready to punch him in the face, when Asahi suddenly moved, with stone cold expression, touching Nishinoya's shoulder just enough to make him stop, and protectively standing half before him.  
\- Long time no see, Asa-chan – Hino stepped closer, too close for Nishinoya's taste.  
\- Last time I saw you, you were under Yaroku – Asahi's voice didn't let out any feelings.  
\- How rude, Asa-chan! – The boy nearly purred, touching Asahi's chest. Nishinoya wanted to break those fingers one after another.   
\- Go to hell Hino – Mimi snapped first.  
\- What do you want, Hino? You are not welcomed here – Asahi still hold himself together, but Nishinoya felt his hand tremble on his shoulder.   
\- I came here for you.  
\- Then you can leave – Asahi answered without blinking.  
\- Don't be that stubborn Honey. We had pretty good time together, I know you enjoyed it too – he bent his head and stepped closer and closer.  
\- Not interested, he has a boyfriend, man! Don't make a fool of yourself – Tanaka helped out the tall male.  
\- Really? – Hino's eyes slipped on Nishinoya, his smile turning to evil – We have some similarities, aren't we? I am happy you finally found a replacement! Do you fantasies about me when you are with him?   
Asahi closed his eyes in defeat. What started like a really good day, but now Hino came back just to ruin everything. He wanted to protest, it wasn't even near the reality, but only a quiet whisper left his mouth.  
\- Please don't listen to him, you are not a...  
He was cut out by Nishinoya, who stepped from behind him and pushed away Hino for a few steps.  
\- Lot better! – Anger flashed across his face, but it was replaced with a confident smile – Now I have to tell you, Asahi is just too nice to use anyone as a replacement, but if he did, then definitely you would be mine!  
\- Really? – Hino looked like he enjoys Nishinoya being upset.  
\- Oh yeah, he was my senpai in high school, you reminded him of me, I am the fucking love of his life, so you can go and fuck off! Oh, and one more thing. Don't come back, if Asahi will want a bitch in his life, I will buy him a dog, there is no need for you, we will stay together forever!  
Hino's face turned to bitter really fast.  
\- Let me guess, Nishinoya, right? – A joyless laugh escaped him facing Asahi again – Suddenly I don't regret the Yaroku thing, and I want to do it again!  
\- Do it – Asahi was back in his full power, standing behind Nishinoya in his full height, his voice deep and determined – This way at least I got away from you.  
Hino left them, slamming the door after him.  
\- YUU! I am so proud of you!! That was really badass – Tanaka jumped on Nishinoya.  
\- I think you are my new favorite person – Mimi joined the two friends, looking proudly on the shorter one.  
But Nishinoya right now didn't care, his eyes were only on his boyfriend who just stood there with an unknown look on his face, and suddenly Nishinoya felt the weight of everything he said.  
\- Asahi? I am sorry, I know I shouldn't have said this kind of stuff... you haven't even said that you love me, and... I don't expect that I am something that important... he just pissed me off – he tried to ease his previous words.  
-You are... - a quiet murmur, nothing more in response.  
\- What? – Nishinoya was a little confused.  
Big smile spread across Asahi's face, and with new confidence he replied with much stronger voice, suddenly lifting up Nishinoya.  
\- You really are the love of my life! I love you so much! – He covered the libero's face and neck in kisses.  
Nishinoya wrapped his legs around Asahi's waist to support his own weight when the spiker finally found his lips to exchange a proper kiss.  
\- I love you too – Nishinoya sighted in the kiss with happy tears in his eyes. 

\- And you said I was cheesy – Tanaka looked with doubt on Mimi.


	18. Epilogue

FOUR YEARS LATER

Nishinoya was standing alone observing the crowd, when Asahi approached him from behind and took the opportunity to take a proper look on him. He carefully observed his slightly bended shoulders, and the beautiful curve of his slim waist that the spiker could inarm with only one hand if he wanted.  
Asahi felt the warm bubbles of pure happiness blossom in his chest before he reached out and embraced the other male, pulling him as close as he could while nuzzling his nose in the soft skin on Nishinoya's neck.  
\- Asahi! – his giggle was gladsome as he reached to smooth the older male's head.  
\- You look amazing in suit – Asahi's breath was ticklish against his neck.  
\- You can't complain either.  
\- What were you watching? – Asahi let him go just enough to stand next to him, his hand wrapped around his waist while Nishinoya leaned on him gently.  
\- Saeko is beautiful – Nishinoya answered nodding in the way where the bride was animatedly talking with her maid of honor.   
\- They will go on honeymoon next month to Europe, their plane will get off from Tokyo so I suggested that she and Ukai-san could sleep in our house the night before – the libero looked for affirmation on his boyfriend.   
\- Of course, that's not even a question. Saeko is part of your family.  
They moved to Tokyo less than two years ago. Mimi was already living in Karasuno where she started her carrier, when Nishinoya got an offer to join one of the best teams in Japan and the opportunity to play in national team. He wanted to talk about it first, saying that his wants are just as important as Asahi's, who liked the shop and Chiba. He was ready to decline the offer because of the fear that he would need to leave his boyfriend behind, but Asahi didn't even want to hear about it, he sold the house and bought another one in Tokyo. This was a lot smaller; they needed only one bedroom, but he invested the difference so now he owned a small bookshop near their home.  
They had a close friendship with Kageyama, who played for the national team too, and Hinata, who although was a starter in the same local team in Tokyo as Kageyama, didn't made it to the Japan's international level. For their biggest surprise a few months ago the younger Hinata, Natsu, moved in with the duo, she was dating Kageyama and became the starter setter in the women's national team.   
\- I think I will rescue my cousin from Ryuu, okay? Meet me before the cake; I want a dance with you – Nishinoya winked on Asahi, leaving him alone.  
The former ace was looking for a company, cause he felt like everyone is watching him when he stood alone in the crowd, whoch was mostly more than a head shorter than him. He quickly spotted Mimi, who was sitting at the main table alone too and decided to join her.  
\- You alright? – Asahi smiled on her with worry as he settled in the chair next to her.  
\- Hmm? Yeah, just... - she smiled anxiously – Just a little strange to watch him dancing with other girls.   
They break up nearly a year ago, but Tanaka bought Mimi with him as a date on the wedding, mostly for Asahi's and Nishinoya's sake, since they didn't have the opportunity to meet her as often as they wanted.   
Although they weren't a couple anymore they were close friends, a month after the breakup Tanaka still spent a week in her house to keep her company at the hardest part of the year, and even after it they often went out together.  
\- You still love him?   
\- No, at least I don't think so. We were together for three years, sure it is strange... But we are better friends than lovers – Mimi fidgeted with her dress nervously – Otherwise I was the one who made the decision. I thought he is too childish and I got really easily annoyed whit him. How stupid, and impatient from me!   
Asahi glanced on Tanaka who was buggering around a short brunette girl, until Nishinoya jumped on him and pulled away with sly smile and gesticulating like crazy while he was whispering something to his best friend.   
Asahi couldn't help himself but smile, looking on his energetic boyfriend.  
\- He is a fantastic person, we just weren't meant to be. Speaking of what, have you make up your mind about Noya?  
\- Yes, I won't do it. Yuu is not the kind of person who would want a romantic proposal on the wedding, surrendered whit a big crowd. I think he is more the type to just say "hey, let's get married".  
Asahi absently touched his pocket where the small box was hiding. It contained a dark titanium ring with a small amber in the middle. He bought it only a week ago, but before it he had to spare money for months to be able to get it, although it didn't matter, because it remembered him of his reason for happiness, his tiny boyfriend, and it made his heart flutter. It was the perfect ring.  
\- Everybody! It is time for the bride to throw the flowers! Unmarried ladies! – Saeko shouted across the cheering crowd.   
Even dressed as a real princess, with white flower crown on her head she was boisterous and loud, what made her husband grin widely with proud. They had the kind of proposal Asahi thought Nishinoya would like five months ago. Saeko just said an "it would be fun to have a wedding" while watching some romantic movie's wedding scene with the Tanaka family, and Ukai replied without hesitation "Yeah, let's get married". But nobody questioned that it was the right decision, because their love for each other was in every side-eyed look or laugh, the little touches and the crazy adventures they shared with each other. She was cheering the loudest every time Ukai or the team he couched had a match, and he was in the first row always when she had a Taiko performance.  
The maids lined up before the bride, after some prompting Mimi joined them while Nishinoya ran to his boyfriend and jumped in his lap.   
\- Hey – the taller man smoothed his hair. He didn't wear it spiked up anymore saying that Asahi liked it more this way and he is the only one he wants to impress.  
\- Hey – he smiled back while giving a peck on the older ones cheeks.  
Asahi brushed his hand against the libero's back, and kissed his temple. He was happier than ever, the warm feeling of his love near him got butterflies in his stomach every day like it was the first time he felt the closeness. It was still hard to believe that after so much trouble he could kiss him and tell him how he feels as much as he wants.  
\- I love you – the older male said into his ears, and he rewarded it with a soft look.  
\- Not fair! This way our gay couple won't have a chance – Ryuu shouted to his sister whit a wink. They have talked about this before.  
Asahi face turned red as everybody looked on them.   
\- Yeah, one of you should come – Saeko stood before them with a big grin as the groom, Ukai embraced her waist.   
\- Which one is the girl in the relationship? – The groom teased, but he had a friendly smile on his lips.  
This affected the otherwise shameless Nishinoya too, whose cheeks have turned to pink, his eyes fixated on the floor after he sent an angry look to his best friend. It wasn't in the plan to embarrass him like this while his whole family was watching.  
The unusual timid reaction from his significant other triggered Asahi's protective instincts that overpowered his shy personality.  
\- It doesn't matter, there is no girl in this relationship, I am gay for reason you know... I don't want to date girls – his hand slid on Nishinoya's waist to encourage him and ease the tension inside of him – We are equal no matter what we do in private.  
\- Asahi... - the libero's eyes told everything, he didn't need to explain his feelings any further.  
There was love, thankfulness, and a bunch of other emotions, every one reminding Asahi how much he loved this man. The former spiker had hard time not to kiss his boyfriend when he acted this adorable and cute.  
Ukai laughed as he patted the bearded man on his shoulders.  
\- Well said, I am sorry. But one of you should come out – there was something in his smile that gave a feeling to Asahi that something is about to happen.   
\- I will go – Nishinoya kissed his lover's face, it is not exactly like the plan, but it will be okay – You are too big after all, you wouldn't give a chance for others.  
With this he jumped on his feet and joined the women and girls on the other part of the hail, while Saeko remained opposite of Asahi. She will throw from here, the man realized as the crowd prepared themselves to take pictures of everything.   
She winked on him a moment before her hands lifted to throw her bouquet.  
Saeko turned around whit the movement, but to the surprise of everyone she didn't let go of flowers and she continued her spin till she faced Asahi again, and then gave it to him with a pander smile.  
The man was more confused than ever, looking on the white roses in his hand.  
\- Asahi? – a shy voice next to him got his attention.  
Asahi looked up just to see Nishinoya, his Nishinoya on knees before him and a small box in his hand.  
\- Would you... - his voice was shaky and a bit unsure, pink blush across his face – I want to be with you forever, so... Would you marry me?   
Asahi couldn't find his voice as he looked on a short man before him, on his happiness, the love of his life, a knot was forming in his throat and emotions were burning his eyes.  
Everyone looked on them breathless and perfectly quiet.  
Asahi couldn't believe that his boyfriend was the one proposing. Tears run down on his face.  
Nishinoya's eyes widened in fear when he didn't get any answer just Asahi's wet eyes.   
\- I am sorry – he started to get up, he was on edge of crying when Asahi finally found his voice.  
\- Yuu, no! – he fell on knees next to his boyfriend, holding him in tight embrace to prevent him from going anywhere – I mean YES! Definitely yes, I will marry you. Sorry, I just got a little overwhelmed. I love you. I love you so much.  
He smiled on the libero through his tears, unable to control his feelings. Nishinoya have calmed down instantly and nuzzled his face to Asahi's neck with the most joyful expression.  
\- I love you too – he whispered kissing his only Ace.  
\- Actually, you stole my lines – Asahi mumbled with a blush on his face reaching for the ring in his pocket, showing it to Nishinoya – I was planning to propose too.  
The smaller man's eyes widened once more, but now because of surprise and joy he felt while the love of his life put the most beautiful ring he ever seen on his hand.  
Then he opened his box too, whit an elegant white gold ring in it. Asahi let him put it on his finger while looking in each other's eyes.   
\- I love you more than my life – he purred in his ears and leaned down to kiss the shorter man.  
It supposed to be a fast, small kiss on his lips, but when they pulled away the gentle "I love you" they murmured to each other made them unable to stop and their lips met once again. Nishinoya throw his hands around Asahi's neck, holding him close.  
The crowd around them started to cheer loudly, they were in the middle of attention and every camera. That was the moment when Asahi remembered that they have audience, and that they are still kneeling on the floor.  
He stood up, helping his fiancé to his feet too, who wrapped his hands around the bigger man's waist pulling him a tight hug.  
\- You scared me at first. I thought you will say no - he said hiding his face in his lover's chest.  
\- I am sorry – he smoothed his hair smiling – I was just surprised.  
\- I figured you would like a sappy and romantic proposal, but then you didn't answered and I thought I will be dumped on a wedding while everyone is watching – there was a little shame in his voice, but Asahi cupped his cheeks to force him to look in his eyes, and then kissed away every insecurity that could have been in Nishinoya.  
\- You are silly. You are the most important person for me. I may not be the bravest, and I never feel like I am quite enough for someone special like you, but I am yours.  
\- You are more than enough; I still wonder what you see in me.  
The intimacy of the moment was shattered when two bodies jumped on them.  
\- BRO! – Tanaka nearly made the small men fall from the momentum in his hug while shouting non-articulate cheers.  
Mimi was just hugging her housemate, using every force she had in herself.  
\- Congratulations – she sobbed slightly – This was beautiful and I am so happy for you!  
The two friends pulled away from the newly engaged couple.   
\- We made it! – Tanaka opened his arms and the girl threw herself in the embrace, they face got closer out of sheer habit like they were going to kiss, but then both of them realized what was happening at once and jumped away.   
\- Yeah, that was a bit... - the male looked embarrassed.  
\- Strange – Mimi finished his sentence, but then she grinned on him again – But they are engaged!  
Tanaka responded whit eased smile and high-fived his ex-girlfriend.   
\- They grow up so fast – Suga joined them with wide small.  
Daichi on his side with red eyes from crying, looking quite ashamed of how emotional he got, and he patted Asahi's shoulder paternally.   
\- Yeah, we know the feeling – a laughing voice came from behind them – But this should have been us who say it.  
\- Mum! – Nishinoya smiled on her as she hugged him.  
– Congratulations.  
\- Please take care of my son – the libero's father stood before Asahi smiling.  
\- Yes Sir!   
\- Don't be so tense, you will be my son in law.  
\- You scared us at first but it was beautiful – the woman hugged tightly the spiker too after she released her son.  
Nishinoya reached out to hold his fiancé's hand, and they exchanged happy smiles as everyone they knew come to them to congratulate.

When the attention was finally back at the married couple they sat down, Nishinoya nestling himself under Asahi's arm, fidgeting with his new ring. He wasn't used to the feeling, but he wouldn't remove it for anything.

Asahi watched it for a short time. His chest felt light and bubbly. He couldn't believe that this beautiful and perfect human being really wanted to knot his life to him.  
\- I want you forever too, Yuu – he mumbled in his hair.  
\- Hm? – the libero looked on him amazed while hsi eyes were shining like the amber in his ring.  
\- You said when you were proposing... - Asahi flushed.  
\- I know what I said. And I meant it. I want to grow old and senile with you on my side – it was typical Nishinoya, voicing his emotions without second thought – I was just happy you said it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. I hope you enjoyed it; you all made me extremly happy with comments and kudos.   
Otherwise, fun fact, Mimi wasn't even in the original plot I imagined and wrote down, so everything that happened with her is improvisation, and at first I wanted to make Hino appear a lot more(he was a main character in the plan). Maybe someday I will write some follow up about what happened in those 4 years, Mimi's and Tanaka's relationship, and more Hino, because honestly I loved to write him.   
Thank you once again!


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